I wake up on a yoga mat
In what is now just My
empty room.

All the clutter That made this house
lived in.
Tucked
in the three old
Sock and underwear drawers
That used to be:
Hers.

The family photographs
half the nerdy posters
books,
Magic the Gathering cards,
Burgled by some addict named time.

I look out at what I now call
"The guest bedroom".
The only evidence of her
An empty dresser
covered in Princess stickers.

At work
Customers ask:
How are you doing?
"I'm awesome! how are you?"
How are you doing?
"I'm wonderful! what brings you to freeport?"
How are you doing?
"I'm fantastic, peak or dark roast?"

How's your daughter?
"Step-daughter."
That's all I'm allowed to tell you
My boss said I'm scaring off customers By
over-sharing
So he wrote me a script.

I would love to tell you
I don't know how she's doing
And it's killing me.

Her mother left me,
We were both fifteen at the time so
My mother, Rightfully cautious
of her overly passionate puppylove eyed son
Didn't let me adopt

So I don't get to see her anymore.

Her mother was a fire who never drank enough rain
And that little girl
Will burn without my clouds.

I am playground math lessons
In space of mindless television
I am baking a cake together Instead of
"You won't eat till you listen".
I am the voice behind every barbie doll
And dinosuar that ever fell in love.

when you ask me how she's doing
All I can think about is how
I earned that
first "I love
you,
dada."

How I made her laugh
more times than her Mother made her
Cry.
How I tucked her in at night
and she made me read her
"Oh The Places You'll Go",
Over
and Over
and Over.
Screaming
when I said she'd go
On through the hakken kraks howl,
and Giggling
when I said she'd move
Mountains.
I raised her for three years.

But because I walked in on my daughter
Locked in "The guest bedroom"
banging on the Oak door
Screaming "DA DAAAA!"
While her mother forgets about us
On the other side of a keyhole.

I have to waste at this register
Handing you a precious cup of coffee
every precious cup of coffee
another abuse I can't protect her from.

"How is your daughter?"
"Step Daugher"
"How are you doing?"
"I'm awesome."
"How is your daugher?"
"Step daughter."
"how are you doing? Step daughter"
"Tell me how you're doing, Step Daughter."
"Please, Tell me you're safe."
"Tell me you're safe."
"Tell me you're safe."

I had a dream I killed you.
Threw knives at your fat chest,
held you under the bath
water when you were a baby.

Pinched your nose and covered
your mouth with a pillow,
gave you a razor and made you
do it yourself.

I woke up cold and strangely calm.
I woke up tired of both of us.
And under the yellowed, motheaten blankets,
I realized:

it was what we’d both always wanted.

I feel so blessed
That I knew you
Always there for everyone

Your spirit is strong
Able to overcome life's obstacles
And still manage to brighten someone's day

I know that your life wasn't easy
But your heart was overflowing with understanding
With love and kindness

You will never know
How much you will be missed
And I know that God is taking care of you now

You've brought so much love into my life
And taught me so much
I will strive to be half the woman you were

And await the day I will be with you
Again in heaven.....

He woke up in the morning as usual
He hated tying up stuff
He went for breakfast that he never did unusual
He ate some bread and cheese stuffed!

His daughter came running to him
Hey dad ,"wazzup" she called
She wanted him to tie her hair
As mom was at the mall

He tied' her hair any how
To escape from the hatred ,
She got up and realised he had to tie' his shoes
And after that she came again for her soes to be tied..
He did it all....
For what could he do he did it all along...

As he walked out of the house the lock was a lace
He had to tie it for the door to open in pace
Odd he felt but in a rush he was
He did it any how and walked up to his car
He saw a tied knot on the car and the grass beneath was tied......
He started going mad after all and just kept on opening all the ties......
His hands were soaked in blood as he was tearing the ties not opening them......
He pulled the laces and red liquid came frm them all...
From the car from the soil from the concrete road...
Eveything that came in his way he pulled all the ties apart.


A loud thud on the street ,
he was hit by a car..
.. His eyes were closing.

He opened his eyes...
Heavy breathing,
He was zonked and all was a dream,
He saw his hand they were red.... all around was red
There was lots of hair on the ground
His daugher ,bald on the floor
Her head covered in red..

On Sunday mornings,she would clap her hands  and call on Jesus in Holy joy in church.But selfishness fueld her spirit,this nubile looking princess,who denied  within lust.Yet allowed the daugher of her youth to ride waves of fleshly passion in the bedroom and  moan  loudly next door.Soon,the call to Jesus within her grew faint and she rose up from prayerful knees ,went out into the world again.Casting aside the Savior for white wine and reggae music.And eat the stale apple  pie of indifference with a side order of meat and potatoes of sin.

you use one cigarette lighter with
the remaining gas,
and you press the "on switch",
and use the other cigarette lighter's flint,
scratch it... scratch it good...
wow... blue light... i'm halfway
across siberia asking about
rasputin's grand or great grand-daugher.

Call me ******* to your mother because I cuh-cuh-couldn't feel the trembling heat reaking havok on the in thigh stubble. Ow! **** sorry stub my toe. I'm moving slow enough to double dutch with a couple couple cookie crisp. Ishy on the in dispute. Grarly upon the laudry booth smoochie smooching on farting fairies flarping from the ex-haust.
Sorry my brain feels soft ffrom the rock salt. Hoochie snoochie snooting snorks slimey nap-cloth. Froze from the several palms second had palsy freezing in the eager eggnog. Ice over sire's searing sultry silken sick souly sullen franklin flame Bob. Billy will wally dilly Dally caught a fifty fatty rattle ****** daddy daddy daddy daddy, Fat Father igloos freak me father freak me father freak me father Im chuching my maugwa. Ma saws my mucho munched muddy crusty killer toes rain, *****? Are you hearing me gravel up your ****** hairs hurting from the rusty ****** clamps. I'm krusty crab freaking funk got me wondering why? okay wize guy wicked wonder wall watch my quest for questioning Ghostface Killah. I'm Slaid Cosby I ****** your daugher younger than the fury from you first tooth.
I wish you spat my drizzle from the furry foster the kids frontporch pistol grip.

Hop scotch?

Star, when i see you, i'm pretty sure my time is getting sooner. When i see you through my right eye, i know that today i won't wake up. If i see if through my left side, i will see the day of tomorrow and i hope tomorrow you will wait for me on my balcony.

I sleep with my blinds open to dazzle you and see that my blindness that follows me is clear by your brilliance. When the night get's tough, when the anxiety wait for me, when my demons penetrate my sheets, you are the one that clears my path to smile for my own good and allows me to survive through loneliness.

I cry when i don't see you anymore, either on my dreams, either on my last moments before you collapse into my deep sleep.

Don't vanish i say! I only ask you to come everynight to deliver the good night kiss. I have never been happy with my self but maybe you will get me back my years of sorrow back cleared by your mist. I didn't lose them by purpose, i only lost myself on the rivers that haunt me till since now.

The darker the night, the brighter the stars they say. Don't cover me with fully light, i need the darkness to continue to be a human being and i think you need your own eternal light to come visit, ain't that right?

I don't know, i fell will to see you everyday, sincei started to think on that thing you told me yesterday. Not all my dreams have to be accomplished but they can be finished. I still wait for my answer from the sun because i don't see him in many years. I miss your green, you ignorance. I miss being a boy. I don't know what i am.

Celestial body full of fear of the following day, forgive me for what i have done to my people, for the sadest thoughts that plagued the millions and for the days of eternal rain that my brain tried to recreate.

My waterfalls of my eyes are getting bigger, i can't see right, only aside. How do i know what i see is my star or if is too pearls from the ocean's heaven?

Life, don't blind me, i want too see my path, my history, i want to see what i can do and what i will eventually can become. I know that i treated you bad and i don't open for rewards. Hoping that you let me cross paths by which have been stepped on but never founded, seen by ignored, felt but never reached.

Give me the eternal peace that you have been given me throughout the years, give me the courage that i haven being having, give me the smile and touch so i can give them to someone who deserves the most.

I knew that i ask little but that's all what i wan't to receive.

My mother waits for his children so she can say "Good morning", waiting for the day that her fruits can give her the satisfaction to listen to her last words:

"My effort was not in vain, all the sacrifices that i have done for them were worth it, everysingle tear dropped made their rivers full of joy... My life was worth it. I created myself on both of you and i hope that both of you can give your own best for those who cared about you. I will be the star of my son and i will the sun of my daughter. May my son shine but don't blind himself, may my daugher warm up but don't ignire herself. See you soon."

Make me immortal, even if it is my last request for mercy, i give you my scars and my treasures that i have digged.
I only hope that you continue to my star. My only star...