Falling,
Falling into the black.
I am encompassed by this darkeness.
It has dimmed the depths of my soul.
I have run,
and the further and further I go
I realize how I am achingly alone.
Fading away
Into the haze of bleakness.
Someone catch me!
I’m falling too fast.
I’m so afraid
That I’m not going to last.

As if the sun had rose for the first time
I witnessed the beauty of a day beckoning and bursting with light
Awakening and coaxing my feet
Urging me on
Dismissing the darkeness that once consumed and committed me
With open eyes the questions are endless and I realised how much of a child's mind
posesses my growing wit
I try to expell the corruption and injustice to breath freely if only for a moment
Craving the euphoria nature aptly offers free and full of grace
I ponder her deep waters and ceaseless wind
Trees like towers wave off and hypnotizes
Simplicity is now becoming a great friend
Taming my wild mind
I am clawing at temptation and I must force my will to break this
Who am I without this twisted warping sickeness
I try so hard to decipher this
but only time can reveal the true stasis

We all hurt
we have all tasted the dirt
We have all felt pain
No matter how little its all the same
Its not a competition
Its no ones ambition
Don't be upset because I have a sadder story
I don't do it for the glory
Did I forget to mention
its not about the attention
We need others to care
Not to compare
people need to feel
Before anyone will heal
Your pain is just the same as mine
You will understand in time
the darkeness will clear
until then I will always be here
To hold your hand in the dark
To show you how to find your spark
believe in your heart
Then begin a new start

I can see cleary the scene where we first met
I feel the warmth of your smile
I hear the glee in your voice
I am entangled in the thought of you
And when I saw you walk towards me
I felt as if the heavens blessed me with an angel
And When I saw you walk past me, I knew I was only in your path.
I am entangled in the thought of you, and why I am unwanted.
I hear the silence in your void, your words are never for me.
I feel the darkeness settle over me again, where it always is.
I can see clearly the scene where we last met.
Discarded. Forgotten. Unwelcome. Me.

Running
Fast considering the darkeness
What am I running from?
Not sure
And yet here I am
Up hill now...
I can see better
Moonlight creeps in through some breaks in the surrounding trees
A Demon Dog of the night jumps
out at me, moonlight reflecting off it's teeth
Gimlet colored eyes make my stomach drop
No.....No......No.......!
I wake up a minute before my alarm

the art i feel
is part of our daily
smart
to do it heart
we must start
realising
light
is part
bright
and part
might
darkeness
to it
guises
and starks
empty comes
out white
the two do not right
speechless is swiped.

What a strange feeling
it is to want to die
The joyous surround
always wondering why
someone would refuse
to just choose
happiness
As if this feeling
can be simply
harnessed
Like a mutt on a leash
Easily controlled
Always obeying the
commands it is told
Instead I feel despair
While others say
if I'm just grateful
for each and every day
then somehow I'll be cured
Which is like saying
if a man who's been laying
paralysed in bed
would thank God he has legs
then he'd be walking instead
People look at the
smile on my face
but they'll never know
how much practice it takes
to feel yourself break
drowning
in your own tears
that you hide in fear
from those who would ask
"What's wrong with you?"
while keeping that
super-glued
lie smothered across your face
Because if you tell them
the truth
That you just don't know what
to do
about the emptiness
and the darkeness
How getting through
every day
feels like you haven't slept
and you're starved to death
but you have to run
a race
And what's funny is that
you really are tired
and you never want to eat
Or maybe you can't stop
But if someone asked you
to run a race
you'd stare at them and laugh
in their face
Because you can't even
get out of bed.
So when a best friend's boyfriend
got down on one knee
As much as I wanted to feel it
I couldn't feel happy
So I put on my mask
and played the part
of the ecstatic friend
while holding my heart
to keep it from bleeding
Because blood would show
and no one could know
They wouldn't understand
why
I was feeling so low
that I wanted to
die.

here is a darkeness i cannot hide
a fear about to colide
a worry thats eatin me
my darkness its so in me

Can feel it in my bones
its drooling of holding home
I can taste it when I breath
taste the darkness thats feeding me

I look and see it there awaiting and not a care
It wants me ..wants me now
The darkness about in devour
my soul repels yet darkness holds
down and down I fall

Seeping through the open door,
Crawling along the ground until it reaches the wall,
A black figure sneaks,
It tilts its head,
Watching,
The figure creeps closer,
Reaching the edge of your bed,
Grabbing you,
It pulls you into the darkness.

Four years ago I chanced upon Colorado.
Only then, did I realize how my life could change,
Realize how to truly love, loving everyone and loving right.

I saw mountains, rivers, and people who changed the course of my life. Only now am I headed down a different path.

A new person I became until I met him, from Colorado as well.
Maybe he was different and right, truly right, truly lovely.

Colored winds and beating trails is
How I lived for one week
And never again could I return to my old self;
Never again would I accept loneliness as a friend,
Grasp tightly to the darkeness, or
Engage in affairs that I need not be tangled in.
Daring to change, daring to love, daring to greet the new me with open arms.