Anxiety lies in humility
Anger lies in embarrassment
Life lies between dimensions
We'll never understand
Only comprehend in the secular aspect
So self aware
Emotions interbreeding
Into a cesspool of confusion
The sky changes at night
And science has told us why
But I can't fathom
A textbook telling me
How to live
When my pen leaves the paper
I rarely have much to say
Quite speechless for a poet
I've been told
But I've found that
My discomfort lies in fear
And my happiness lies
In companionship
Novels could be bound
From the amount of
Papers that I like to call
Goodbye letters
Rather than suicide notes
Because I constantly live on the edge
Of wondering which dimension is lonelier
And trying to please those around me
Black eyeliner turns gray
When it smudges or fades away
And as I've aged
My emotions have done the same
I used to write prophecies in my journal
Of things I would and wouldn't accomplish in life
But instead of climbing a mountain
I tried popping pills a few times
Theres a certain ring to being lonely
Since I'm so keen at being alone
75% of the time
Self isolation has made me untouchable
And not in the invincible fashion
Because shying at every hand on my cheek
Has a proven ability to ****
Tiny pieces of me
Pretending to find strength in apathy
Has taken a bat to my knees
But I'll walk with my sea legs
Until I fall overboard
I can only hope
That by the time I slip
I open up enough
For somebody to grab my hand
Without seeing the reflex
Of going into my emotionally void
Black hole heart again

What a lucky day. "I thought to myself".
Living Love Life
There she goes.
Beautiful Black Wife.
Awkard silent.
The sun is starting to sat.
Awkard face signals.
Where the smiles at?
My mind can be mix-signaling.
Days before confrontation.
But, we left that where the heart's at.
Follow your heart PHAT.
KEEP THE ONE WITH THE MONEY NOW.
What a LUCKYDAY for ME.
Again follow my HEART I've been stabbed in the back.

I was famished
As my curves started to grow
Knobby knees and a little *** belly
******* that had started to bloom
Like a seed that turned to a rose
Hair grew in places underneath
Men started to turn there heads
My dresses were getting awfully short
But momma could not afford any more
My round backside boys started to notice
I felt awkard and unaware
****** spilled over into my *******
Sitting in church thinking of how I sinned
Deep into the night
My fingers would find me
Digging desperately at this tiny spot
Over and over all the time
My salvia wetting the tips of my fingers
As I dip inside
Trying to hush my moans
Yet they escape
I wish I could ******* own
Squeezing my thighs
I was taught this is wrong
But this thrist is something I need
This obsession is the only thing I have
Into the dark with quiet thoughts and a carnal need