I am tired,  and just now laying down
in my bed.. I can't believe I can finally
get some rest.

What a day, sweetie.
You were on my mind  all day
and I could  feel the tender-hearted
sadness and vulnerability welling up in you..
So very interesting that it has gone
this route.. and the gates open back up,
but with a well-oiled  swing this time...
And you are wondering if there is
really enough love available to  truly
save a person..  And you gasp out loud
as I pull you  close to me,
as if you did not know that was something
that could even be done in this world--
my hand to the small of your back
as my mouth presses  softly
to the side of your face..

and I whisper words of warm,  loving support,
           deeply into you--
  tears..  streaming down your beautiful face
    as your whole body trembles.

"This kind of world is so unfamiliar to me,
I don't even know how to be right now..  
And just as much..
   I have no idea how or what to feel.  
I've been crying a lot--  over all the
things I've had to face..
along with all of these changes.
And when I told you that I missed
you.. I really meant it.  

    ..But then you hurt me bad.. real bad"

You are angry and still hurt.
but you can't stop pulling at my shirt--
clenched in your hand, at my chest..
so much  that you are about to tear
my buttons.

"Why do you do that to me
when I need you so much..  
why.. when I open up and trust  

    and need you the most,  
            why do you do that?"

You are shaking me with both fists  now
but there is still the look  of deep
love in your eyes..  and as they look
directly into mine, your tears of anger
and hurt  give way to the overwhelming
desire to press  up against me..
and have me kiss you   deeply.

    Looming overhead
    is my cloud-incased,  need
    to  not  cast a vote  on the
    current status-quo..

     ..To  not  call today--
      'everything we've worked toward
      until today,  is enough'


"You will  end up
in my bed, beautiful girl..
and we'll be together--
pushing forward,  pushing  in to..
   everything that you have taken in,
   so far..
..But I am scared shitless  of the
ever-limiting nature  the
threat of mundaneness  brings about
by complacency within the inner-self..

..And so with you, my beautiful..
I light a skyrocket under  that
gorgeous, sweet *** of yours..
    And throughout  the cosmos
    And into the Realms  you shoot..

.. But am I not  always  the one
who catches you before you fully fall--
scary as the unfair launch into the sky is..
I have always, always  caught you."


"You have, Paul.
I'm going to fall in love  with you
harder than I ever have in my life
because of who you have
been to me throughout the years..

..But one day.. I'm gonna stand up
and punch you--  right in the nose..
   ..then leave..

   because of  h o w  you  have 
   been to me throughout the years."


"Damm right you will, Babe.
Now get the ****  over here       
      and give me a kiss..
      ..And you
      have to pretend like you like it, too.."

"I'm still mad at you Paul..
and you're such a pervert.  But I
know how much you love these,  
so I want to show them to you"

--As you gently  pull on your  cute,
flowery black dress's belt.. it slowly
unwraps  and falls down, onto the grass..

My eyes are staring at your beautiful body..
     that absolutely perfect skin..
those lusciously-gorgeous  *******..
the curve of those hips,  the shape of
your thighs..

    "Do you like what you see?"


"Ah, Babe..
    more than I have words for."




(but you see.. there's still this thing I do..)

Weary of spirit I drift side ways
As my sails have lost all wind
In the mundaneness of my life
I repeat year by year
For I am a stuck record
Mechanically moving
Devoid of all emotion
I search for the thread
To my lost heart
In this daily grind
Of everyday routine
I find myself hypnotized
By the repetition in my life
My half hearted eyes
Blind to the treasures
That God bestows
For I demote myself
To a passenger in my life
For I am rung out of joy
And can no longer fill my flute

My mind bleached by the
Dazzlement of this world
I am left feeling empty
Of this worlds unhealthy fuel
As our souls secretly search
To burn away our reptilian claws
In the fires of fossil fuels
Like Edward scissor hands
Our hearts bleed for love
All actions made mechanical
We are the robots of our time
As the world seeks to make us
Into unconscious engines
Driven by the power of profit
Both in our minds and theirs

In the long range monotomy
Of this tiring life
We do not seek to run or hide
As we stand like giant rocks
Holding our own space
Carved by the weather of time
We remain the governor
Of our own lives
As all elements fall within us
For God holds us within his strength
As he fills us like balloons
Replacing all that
The world took from us
Like mountains we are pushed up
With the forces from within
As we now see this world
From a new height

As we descend the mountain
To meet the world
We are met by our many comrades
Our four legged friends
For these are the work horses
Of our time
Who show a tranquil dignity
Within their work
As they serenely
Embrace their own dharma
With a soft grace
That angels may envy
For they lead the way
As I sit and surrender
For I am a passenger
Who enjoys the view

In this new centered self
I relax and recoil within
My strength renewed
I learn the effortless embrace
My work ethic renewed
My open arms , feel the open hearts
Of our humble steeds
Who still the sea's
Of our ruffled minds
As I seek to return home
Dropping in to find my heart
Within my mechanical self
Enriched I feel
As I hitch hike on Gods glory

Finding our heart within our work
Can be the hardest sea to sail
But the greatest
For accomplishments sewn
In the hearts of men
Will beam in the sunlight
Of righteousness
While those thrown
And discarded on shallow dry soil
Will shrivel and die
Though I may sometimes stumble
Sometimes finding my stride
I remain on the path
Too and within my heart
In work

For I Love my life
In all its shades
As who am I to bring
Condition into life
As I push my food around my plate
Like a fussy child
For now I seek just to sing

I’m from opening my front door, and hearing my back door slam
I’m from bleeding lips and bleeding fists
I’m from walk the other way around the block after dark
I’m from mouths running quicker than legs
I’m from hazy blue and red lights
I’m from soft pools of yellow ones
I’m from watch your back because no one else will
I’m from steel bracelets and lead pits
I’m from bitter words and sour spit
I’m from spinning records and pounding keys
I’m from jars and bottles and glasses and tubes
I’m from zipped lips and wide eyes
I’m from long, hot showers without conditioner
I’m from narrow minds and pretentious ******
I’m from weights and wait, lies and lying
I’m from thin walls and thick skulls
I’m from dull eyes and sharp tongues
I’m from do what you’re told
I’m from fires and fires and fires
I’m from pocket knife upgrades
I’m from t-shirts and mundaneness
I’m from faking smiles and screams
I’m from dreams that involve dying
I’m from fat fingers and fat books
I’m from sorry, what?
I’m from pushes down stairs and scolding words
I’m from scalding water and instant coffee, just milk
I’m from saving painkillers
I’m from we don’t want to hear it
I’m from *you never do

Wake up!
It’s time to wake up!!
I mean really wake up!!!
It’s not about the hands on the clock
That tick tick tick tick tock
The clock that never stops
Like a pendulum weighted rod
Reducing peripheral awareness
Routines that seems senseless
Coffee, breakfast, traffic relentless
The hands that clock you in
and clock you out
Never do you stop and doubt
The beat to which you march about
The mind checked out
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere
Drown my mundaneness out
Blindfold and gag my inner shout
My robotic need to march to the monotonous beat
For what will i have but despair and defeat
Oh holy one, save me from my inner beast
My natural instincts would have me feast
On love and lust and defenceless defeat
No boundaries, no walls, just vulnerability
The clock keeps tick tick ticking
The mind keeps click click clicking
Until finally I did see
Beyond its purpose to notify me
of daily chores and deadlines to meet...
It was in the hospital, starring at me,
A clock that asked how to be free
For time is not a commodity
It cannot be sold or bought for a fee
It has to be lived despite pain and poverty
For in the struggles there is also glee
No matter how sad our sorrows go deep
The time that we have is worth it to keep
Unchain that inner beast
For love is a necessity
And lust a natural need
Don’t waist your time on complacency
Live each second, minute and hour
Every day, week, and seasonal flower
Growing each year, knowledge is power
Don’t take one moment for granted
For time is no fairytale enchanted
A seed that flowers and dies
Was originally planted

Every morning,
I made coffee for the people I loved.
A massive *** of brown gold
Perched atop a fiery hotplate,
Waiting to be used.

Hour by hour,
Dozens of cups were poured
As people began to smile
And forget about their worries.
Conversing and rejoicing,
The mundaneness of life
Becoming a subtle blur
As they slurped upon
The nectar I provided
Dutifully.

When all is said and done,
With all the happiness
That I've put into this world,
Tell me why I sit here
As empty as that *** of coffee
At the end of a long day?

In the midst of oppression;
The buzzing of truth finds hard to flutter.
In a carousel of corpses;
Such is a truth to stay awake.
In the lines of fuzzy minds;
How uncanny it is to find a thought;
Of a head with a travel far from reality;
His pen the anchor to mundaneness.

Strum the song that nobody ever knows,
Strum the song nobody would ever know;
Sing of the words that words cannot understand,
Let those knocking whisper their voices.
Sulk upon the sounds of trembling thunders;
Let the rain deafen you whole.
Blind your eyes from the truth with distortion;
Your pain the anchor to reality.

Let the pendulum swing;
Let the smoke turn you vague;
Let the scorn that darkness brings;
Let the sedation leave you enraged.
Let the twisted remain as they are;
Perhaps they were twisted for a reason;
Turn numb with all unconnected words;
*Confusion the anchor to the earth.