We all have been one in some shape or form.
Having an opinion of almost everyone.
We all have a family member.
Who life we don't agree with?
And that mainly when our judgment begins.

Which label us the judgmental people.
Until the script is turned back upon us.

Yes, we still have the try and truth.
Who lives by that taught golden rule?
If you can't say nothing good.
Then don't say anything at all.

We talk about people affairs.
We talk about the wayward child.
We talk about the interracial couple.
We talk about those unmarried with a child.
We talk the bigots we know.
We talk about the political candidates.
We talk about those that talks about us.
And then we go into a defense mode
Cause , we don't want others judging us.

Although , we  are apart of the judgmental people.
Ministers, are no better than us.
They talk about the sinners in the scriptures.
In lessons they use to teaches us.

Will it ever end?
I guess not, as long as we, have the judgmental people in society.
Which I guess includes me.

Is it hard to bite our tongues?
Not really.
But to some it is.
When it's the only way to make friends.
And this is , where your humanity begins?

i could not fall from my mind because it is uppermost
thought act as spine erecting me comes from innermost
i can see what is good or bad but when i see what i want to see
you can't call me judgmental because i know what is good for me
i can be swayed by my feelings but then i have a mind to decide
it can be coincidence of emotions and mind ultimately who knows who decides
yet i can think i am right and feel bad when told i am not right
it is me who is judgmental or they who say i am not right.

i could not fall from my mind because it is uppermost
thought act as spine erecting me comes from innermost
i can see what is good or bad but when i see what i want to see
you can't call me judgmental because i know what is good for me
i can be swayed by my feelings but then i have a mind to decide
it can be coincidence of emotions and mind ultimately who knows who decides
yet i can think i am right and feel bad when told i am not right
it is me who is judgmental or they who say i am not right.

When i was 13 I thought that gay and straight were things that other people were
People that weren't raised christian
People that didn't have dads
People that were abused
People that i should pray for but not get close to

when i was 14 my best friend came out as gay
i didn't see it coming but i probably should have
she wore ties every day
and plaid shirts with the sleeves rolled up
and cut her hair short as soon as she could
but i didn’t see it because gay was other people

when i was 14 i watched as the news spread like wildfire
“did you hear? that girl is gay.”
I watched as people slowly backed away from her
people that knew her all her life
that is, the people that didn’t cut her off instantly

I watched as the youth group we had both attended asked her to leave
I watched as her drama group kicked her out because they were afraid of the yearly camp we went to
that somehow knowing that she was gay made her more likely to attack the other girls in their beds than the year before

I watched.
I didn’t do anything.

what changed my mind wasn’t a change of perspective on queer people
it still took me a year to decide being gay wasn’t wrong
but i decided that my best friend was someone i would stick with
because i loved her

I quietly stayed.
didn’t make a fuss, didn’t call people out when they called her names behind her back.
I should have.
but i didn’t.
I didn’t join in, but i didn’t defend her
i didn’t say to these people
*******
that girl is beautiful and amazing
and if you can’t see through your hatred then i don’t want to be your friend either
but i didn’t .
I didn’t go through what she did.
I didn’t get kicked out of anything, i didn’t lose friends

When i was 15, i got fed up
I left that drama group.
I stopped going to that church.
I stepped away from those friends and even though i never said why
the look on my face when i ran into them and they asked, “how’s she doing?”
answered that question for them.

I spent 24 hours examining my bible
trying to find the verses that say being gay is wrong
there were barely any
and they were right next to verses that said eating pork was wrong
or planting crops next to each other
or wearing two different fabrics

there was my answer.

this isn't a story of my journey.
This isn't me building myself up
“hey, I wasn't as bad as those other people
I’m good now”

this is a story of how one person can change your life forever

if i didn't have a gay best friend
what a way to start a story, huh?
if i didn't have a gay best friend then I would still be there
quietly praying for the sins of others, but not trying to understand
so don’t look at all Christians and say
they’re awful
they’re bigoted
they’re judgmental
because we are
but often it’s because we don’t know any better
teaching us kindly works
leading by example.

In Spanish, VIVIR means To Live, the proper conjugation of which to when you say something as improper as “I live” would simply be translated to “Yo Vivo”.
I live, as a Colombian-American.
I live, as “You don’t look Hispanic”
I live, “Woah! You and your brother look nothing alike. You’re so… white.”
I live, “My mom came home once and talked about a man who simply replied with a horribly pronounced “Me gusta” when my mom said she was Hispanic.”
I live, “My dad condones abusive behavior because he thinks Latina aggression is ‘****’”
I live, my mom asking me “Would you rather celebrate the Sweet Sixteen or have a quinceanera party?”
I live, as the white boy sitting across the room in Spanish class asking “When will I need this in real life?”
I live, as the “Yes I DO have a friend with a skin complexion similar to mine, and yes, he is Hispanic.”
I live, most of my friends are beautiful people of color.
I live, when will you open up the tab in Google and search some Hispanic History to fill your mind instead of “Latina ****”?
I live, the messages on the Internet saying “You’re Hispanic? I bet you’re great in bed.”
I live, there are NO gender neutral nouns in Spanish
I live, yes I DO love coffee
I live, no it did NOT stunt my growth
I live, one kiss per cheek at family meet-ups
I live, “Eskimo” nose rubs
I live, "if you’re hispanic, why aren’t your ears pierced?"
I live, being expected to remember Spanish just because it was my first language, but growing up with an American dad made me whiter than fresh bed-sheets sold in America, made in South America, Hecha en Peru.
I live, my mom breaking into tears as she is so proud that I can sing in Spanish
I live, my mom used to be so embarrassed, when I replied “un poco” to her friends asking “Tu Hablas Espanol?”
I live, "if you’re Hispanic, is your mom an Alien?"
I live, "But your dad looks so white!"
I live, being subject to racism hidden in a joke, hidden in a remark about how pale I am, hidden behind a judgmental look, hidden behind a scoff, a laugh, a pity shrug, a fetishized assumption.
I live the bulletproof clothing and horrible crimes I am warned about when I say I wanna go to Colombia I wanna go to my mom’s home.
I live, as a Colombian-American.
I live.
Yo vivo.

A full glass of "how could you's?"
Nine fork lifts of "I told you so's" to fill out
Beside the "maybe's" and "hope to be's"
A napkin stitched with "your loss" in continuous patterns
It's no use, no good, I know I misunderstood but
I'd rather starve than awake to this judgmental breakfast.

Body shaming
Fat shaming
Skinny shaming
Face shaming
We can't deny that
People are judgmental
Me or you,  we judge
She or he,  they judge
We all, need to understand that
People were not born to be perfect
People have their imperfections
People have their flaws
People have their ugly side
We all, need to learn how to
Accept the imperfections
Accept the flaws
Accept the ugly side
We all, need to know that
People have feelings
People have over thinking skills
People have suicidal thoughts
So, to all humans out there
Learn how to care
Learn how to shut up at times
Learn how to stop judging
We are all imperfectly unique,  for all we are humans that are created equally by God.