I'm too fixated in each moment -
Each moment feels so intense,

I'm lost
On the dark side of the moon,
And nothing here has any warmth,
Worth or substance ~
Nothing here makes any sense.

Even my own shadow has left me.
The Monsters, still lurking
In the darkness,
Have stolen all of my hopes
And dreams away,

I can hear the wolves,
They are hauntingly howling -
There's nowhere safe that I can run to,
On this, here, dark, dreary day.

There will be no stars
To light up the pitch-black night-skies,
They have already fallen,
Just like the Angels
That I once loved and knew,

Everything that I once held onto
As sacred, has been molested -
I've been abandoned, once again;
Hell, again, I am being forced
To walk through.

Alone, I was born and raised,
Only my pain has been consistent-
It has held my hand
Throughout my entire life.

At some point, somehow,
I stupidly gave birth
To expectations,
Luckily, I woke up
And divorced reality,
Hence becoming solitude's
Dedicated and loving wife.

On the dark side of the moon
Compassion, loyalty and trust
Are nonexistent.
Evil dwells in almost every man
And woman,

Each with his or her own agenda,
Each with his or her own selfish plan.

Saviors do not exist,
Superheroes all wear masks,

Unconditional love is but an illusion,
Here, I revert to relying solely
On the harshness of reality,
For, the truth, it always exposes
And unmasks.

The dark side of the moon
Is a very lonely, isolating place,
In which to dwell,

There is no sunshine,
No stars or Angels -
The only light visible
Comes from the flames
Of the evildoers'
Raging fiery hell!

Placed here against my will,
No lush green valley in sight,

Taken away
From the divinity of nature,
I was cruelly robbed
Of my radiant life-giving daylight.

Doomed for being too real,
Too open and too honest,
Doomed for loving too much.

Doomed for believing in superheroes,
Doomed for allowing a human
To become my crutch.

Doomed for being too empathetic,
Doomed for being too sincere.

Doomed for being too kind
And too generous,
I'm doomed, abandoned here.

I blame only myself
For allowing my intuitive awareness
And intelligence to fade away
Like the stars that once adorned
Every exquisite night-sky,

I blame only myself
For not using the blessed insight
Of my third eye.

I'm too fixated in each moment,
Each moment feels so intense,

I'm too passionate about life
To give up and remain imprisoned
On the dark side of the moon...
But I'm too emotionally weak
And disappointed to jump the fence.

By Lady R.F. (C)2018

Trust me
I would love
To be your girl
But I'm sorry to say
We are doomed
Before we
Start

We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed!

Not because
We are apart
And not for lack of trying
But because
Round pegs fit
In my square space
But leave much to be desired

Because I-
In my aggression-
Will fill the corners with questions
Without much space for answers
And you will dance
Safe in your cylindrical home
The corners will sizzle
And I will burn
But you will
Be safe

Until
I choose
To break you
Into all those pieces
That are easy to fix
But sting to lose
Because I will
Most surely
Lose

We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed
My love,
We are doomed

But you
Are still
My love

You and I... go hand in hand,
With being terrified.
(...Of death.)
You and I... go hand in hand,
With being petrified.
(...Of death.)

But no matter how hard I try,
I just can’t get anything right.
But no matter, how hard I fight,
I just can’t get things right.
And no matter how hard I think,
I end up driving everyone away.

So I think I... am better off... being just dead and gone.
Maybe I... really am better off... being just dead and gone.
(I. need. to. be. dead. and. gone...)

These voices in my head, all tell me I should disappear...
They tell me that I don’t belong here...
But it’s okay dear, do not be afraid...
I will not tell anyone, no one will hear,
It won’t get to your ears.

You won’t know my plans,
The chance...
Still stands.
Of me dying by my hands.

I. want. to. take. over. control.

You and I... go hand in hand, with being terrified.
And if this is all there is, then I want off this ride.
I will never be okay with this, or accept this kind of unstable life.

Doomed to love,
Doomed to separate,
Doomed. to go... our ways...

Doomed to try,
Doomed to fail,
Doomed to bail.
Doomed to be unhappy,
...Doomed to die.

It’s like every day is a fight for my life,
I can barely get from day to day.
Do I really have to die,
For this monster inside... to be slain?

I really do try to fight it, or to hide it, but inside it, and I’m not lying...
It just burns it's way through happiness, feels like torture,
I never asked for this...
This monster trapped deep inside of me.

No matter how I try to block out the voice that tells me I'm worthless,
I can't seem to conquer to beast,
I'm always defeated,
Left here in pieces.

And there's no one who understands
they can't stitch me up,
though it's nice that they're still  ”here.”
I am the only one...
Who can slay this monster.

this world is doomed and we're all going with it.
you're on a giant rock hurtling through space.
you live in constant fear of death, yet that's the only thing you can be sure about.
you have a job you don't want so you can buy things you don't need,
to impress and satisfy people you don't like.
this world is doomed and we're all going with it.
why? no reason. its a joke. and your death is the punchline.
you've been put here to fail.
the meaning of life is its fragility.
that it can all be ripped away so fast.
its funny, isn't it?

hahaha

so what? now you've got nothing to live for?
wrong.
now you're free.
no fear of failure.
no fear of death.
no fear.
free.
the world is your chaotic, lawless playground.
no rules.
no leaders.
no consequences.
you're afraid of living because you're afraid of dying.
you fear the inevitable.
stop being a ******* coward, stop being afraid.
there are no concequences.
this world is doomed and we're all going with it.