I found myself rocking on the floor again today
But I don't know how I got down there or how I felt so calm.
As you screamed at me trapped in the bathroom
I felt a smile slowly creep on my face
As I imagined myself taking my razor out of my pocket and using it to slice your face open.
It looked so beautiful covered in blood
With your jaw hanging open
And hearing you scream at me to stop.
I did like you for a while
When you cried it made me feel better because now you can know how it feels to constantly be in agony
Writhing and clenching your stomach
Coughing blood
Every.
Single.
NIGHT!!!!!
And as your voice got louder and louder
I began to laugh
Because your anger was so intriguing.
When you threaten to **** me
It gets me so high
I feel like a kid on Christmas day.
Im not suicidal but if you put the gun to my head I'll do whatever I can to get
You to pull the trigger
If you held a knife to my throat
I'd step just a little closer to feel the
Stony ice blade against my already freezing skin.
I'm psychotic mommy I can feel it deep inside.
I can feel it in the clouds
And see the tent in the sky....
The tent....
It makes me think of him
Andi stop laughing for the tender spot that hinders...
The roses start to wither
And the air gets thicker...
I breathe in blood and I noticed I've sliced my throat
But I feel fine
I feel bliss.
If I were a god just for a day
If I had the power to just pick off people one by one
Or take them by the plenty...
Whisk them off of this filthy
Filthy ******* ******* you**
Call a ******* earth.
I'm so pathetic.
So pathetic!!!!!!
IM A HORRIBLE ******* *****!!!
Mommy????
Mommy?? Why do you lock my bedroom door at night when I'm sleeping?
I said I was sorry
And I never wanted to hurt you again.
You said Daddy died but why is he standing above you??
Mommy please don't go.
I'll try to be a better child.
Why do you hate me??
YOU STUPIDFUCKING *****!!
ANSWER ME!!!!
I love you..

Not allowed to have feelings whatsoever
She traps her pain behind stormy
Rainy weather
She lies awake at night
With tears in her eyes
Its not the dreams its reality that keeps her awake
The fear of waking up
In a world that's all too ****** up
This is the life
Of a forbidden child
Trapped inside a mind cage
Her thoughts feeling her with rage
She cant sleep
In these selfmade walls she has no release
So she sits and cries in the dark
A million worlds
A million worlds apart
The life of a forbidden child living but dying
All the while
Will someone save her
I think not
They'll let her die
They'll let her rot
Save her
Shes falling
Tear stained face
Shes such a disgrace
At least thats what mom says
SHes the mistake
She wasnt supposed to be here
I didnt use protection
She wont get my affection
The forbidden child dies
Her heart burst from lies
The demons drain from her head
The poor girl is dead.
But she's still breathing........

You treat me like I'm not your daughter
It's enough that I don't know my father
But for you you to treat me like I don't exist
Makes me feel like I'm worthless
It seems as though
I've lost control
Of everything I'm supposed to be
You're not making my life easy
Oh mother why do I even try
To be the perfect daughter
You never wanted me to be me
It's not easy
You curse me
And joke about my scars
You tell me my life shouldn't be that hard
But tell that to the scars
I wear this smile
Glued to my face
Because my feelings are a disgrace
But inside I'm crying
I feel like I'm dying
I'm laughing
But nothing's funny
To cover up the tears
I fill myself with lies
I tell myself I'm beautiful
But I'm actually pitiful
No self worth
You're not the one to blame
You just make me go insane

The people are cruel
The people are monsters
Terrible people
Some are more far then the others
They cheat
They lie
They steal
They hunt
They hide
They ****
You think they've got your back
But you turn around
And they sneak attack
The people after cruel
The people are monsters
Terrible creatures some are more far than the others

They say to stop and smell the roses
But theyre poison
They say to go
But they dont know where they're going
With these lies they fade into the darkness
But with the love they rise up to the surface
These black roses theyve got secrets to tell
Secrets theyll carry with them to hell
Tales of the lost souls trapped inside of black holes

You saw the scars on my arm and you didn't think twice
I turned you around and tears streaming from your eyes
You said you loved me no matter what
You said you'd stay
No ifs and or buts
You said stop cutting my dear
Because you're always here
Wounds heal
And scars fade
But the ones inside my head just won't go away
I need your love and I need your protection
To save me from myself
This hate and aggression
You say I do it for attention
But I do it cause you won't listen
Won't you settle down
And let me get my problems out
Because wounds heal
And scars fade away
But the ones inside my head
Just wont go away
I need your help
And I need you to stay

Love is affectionate
Love is kind
Love is what helps you keep your piece of mind
Its what helps calm you down
Even if the person that you love is not around
Even the thought of them lights up your day
Because their perfect in every way
But sometimes the person that you love is yourself