I'm going to throw up I'm going to faint I'm going to hit the floor and let the blood pound pound pound in my head like a ******* drum like the one that our good friend Chris plays.
And I'm going to cry and I'm going to scream and I'm going to tear out my skin and my eyes will burn red like a sunrise like the sunrise we watched that morning when I gave you everything.
I'm going to hit the wall with my fists and yell and yell until my throat is raw and "why did I fall so ******* deep oh my gosh HOW WAS I SO STUPID SO. *******. Stupid."
I can't even type because my hands are shaking and my head is pounding and my chest is heaving and I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up.

Cold hands
Shaking lips
Burning eyes
Stinging cheeks
I'm haunted by
Your memory
And I have lost
My sanity
And in everything
I think I see
You

it's been twenty four hours
since I last held your hand
kissed your lips
traced that one scar with my finger
it's been twenty four hours
since I was shivering in your doorway
my breath making ghosts in the frozen air
dancing away like the smoke rings you blow to impress me
even though I always say you should smoke less
its been twenty four hours
since you pressed our foreheads together
and your laugh danced off the walls
as I long to dance with you
and your crooked-tooth smile made me crave your mouth on mine
its been twenty four hours
since you kissed me like an Eskimo
and admired my slippers
despite the soles being more worn than the pages of my favorite book
it's been twenty four hours
since I promised to say a prayer for you every night
and you swore again and again that we would make it
and you told me you'd see me in may
even though may is hundreds of memories and firsts and new friends away
it's been twenty four hours
since we said goodbye.

sitting in my room all day long
thinking about him, how he treats me wrong
there is tons of other boys
only one special i love his smile his person his voice

he might be a little older
but i can always cry on his shoulder
he might be far away
but i'll get there and finally kiss him someday

he makes me smile
even when i havent in a while
when im sad he can feel it
when im broken he can always heal it

we like the same things
and i hope that some day we'll prove it with rings
i never thought we'd get this close
but it's clear as air now this love is my daily dose

i love you so much XOXO
your babygirl
your my vinyl scratch, my saviour!