I watch my spirit on a
snowflake
falling softly, gently, slowly
drifting, taking its time
so beautiful in its descent
until it rests
on the cold ground
just to vanish,
melt away,
and with it my spirit
disappears.

The broken pain
when you said my name
I turned away
in bitter shame.
I cannot explain
my corrupted brain.

Embarrassed, I hide,
pushing feelings aside
but I couldn't keep them inside,
covered my face as I cried,
I can't give up my pride
or admit that I lied.

Hardened to stone
I tremble, I groan,
I shiver deep to my bones,
at lies I can't condone
and up to can't own,
beside you, lying alone.

Oh brother, where art thou?
You hath stole my timepiece yet,
Brother, put it in your pocket;
I don my mem'ry, and you my locket.

Oh sister, thou cryest alone
For no one spake of your goodness,
Sister, for none be there to see;
Thy tears art thou own, not of me.

Oh mother, where art thou?
Father, hither thee come!
For the babe cries, the son lies,
and don't mind me, my heart dies.

I draw on my body in pen where I once drew with a knife.
I breathe deep and recall when I gave up on life.
I sit still to remember though there's no way I could forget,
the days I gave no regard for years I hadn't lived yet.

To live in utter hatred for yourself is something I can't explain.
It's impossible to put words to that intimate pain.
Never so lonely as when I'm surrounded, so why,
when I'm loved and cared for, do I most want to die?

I hide to conceal my brokenness.
Some faults are easier than others to confess.
Do not test my limits, I am too jaded to cry,
but when you ask if I'm ok, I will always lie.

I beg, don't ask why
Just please let me die.

Floodlights on the blacktop
Illuminate the emptiness
upon which I cannot rest
for fear of mechanical monsters
much stronger than I

Rupture my brain
I explode with thoughts unbounded
by constraints in my mind.

Free the ribbons of
thoughts that I held so long inside
but no longer confine.

Erupt, release me
from my captivation of late
no more shall I cry or hate.

Penetrate me with your dagger
straight into my heart, I beg
your love and mercy so submitting
myself to you, I lay myself down before you.

Enter my body under my skin
flow with my blood, let it stream
over you, let me cover you with
my life. I give you my life.

Carve open my belly let me pour
on the floor, and I spill myself
as you stand over me while I
die at the feet by your hands.