The convulsions of my chest
splinter my ribs
rip my heart from my breast

Tearing muscle from bone
grinding joints
that creak and groan

My lungs implode upon me
choke my breath
I die, suffocating slowly

Stars painted on my eyes
until I'm blind
and my broken body cries.

I have an intimate relationship with
Pain

I wish people could see
I wish I could say
There's a mess in my mind
Something's wrong with my Brain

I'll take for granted
my eyes will open
despite the pills I take
late at night to sleep
put me under deep
when I wish I will not wake

Caress me, but careful
Do not touch my face
For I wish you would not feel my tears

Expose me, but gently
So I will not flee
For I so often run from my fears

Implore me, be patient,
I struggle to speak
For I choke on my bitter, long years

Desert me, but later
Let me hold you now
For I melt when your words touch my ears.

Find your own mantra
Say it once Say it twice
Bother not with its depth
Do not think, Say it thrice.
Abandon your logic
Bend your life to advice
What are you doing?
Common sense would be nice.
Walk up to the table
But will you roll the dice?
Can you not hear me?
I will only ask twice.

I've lost the words
I tried to say
I can't keep my lost
feelings at bay
I tried to run
I tried to stay
But still my pain
upon me weighs

Forget the secrets
I told and cried
Forget the times
I told and lied
I try to keep them
captive inside
I failed, I lost,
although I tried.

If you could find
my secret might
The strength I lost
but need to fight
I let my secret
out of sight
I lost my head;
Yes, you were right.