All I can taste is blood.
I don’t know if it’s mine, or yours, or even hers.
I do know that my morning tea has not yet washed away the taste of your lips.
No, no it must not be yours.

You lost yours wings, and fell,
As I gained mine and began to ascend.
You passed me on your way down
and your eyes caught me,
Pulling me down with you.
I saw the pain in your eyes as you saw your wings were gone,
So I took a knife to mine,
Today is not the day I die.

We have matching scars now,
And I kiss your shoulder blades whenever they are exposed to me.
You’ve never done the same to me,
But I don’t mind.
You see yours as a curse,
And sure,
Mine are a burden,
But let it be known,
I will do almost anything for you.
I won’t die for you,
But I’ll live for you.

She's been there all along
Singing a melancholic song
Standing on a spiral staircase
Counting down the days

She'd be the model to your lenses
She'd be the rock to your wall
She'd be your beautiful monster
But is she your one in a million after all?

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
You're the one I always care
But you're somewhere far away

her bones grow worms in the dirt
in the cadillac of caskets
shes choking in her coffin
he tells her to take off her shirt
naked is her task
skinned alive is his offer
he swears on her grave it wont hurt
and he says once hes done with her
well, then, nothing can stop her
he tares the leather from her face
a place from where leather is torn
he tares and tares
she tears and tears
until the worms are born.

"Nadia"
"Hope," it means.
"Beautiful," they say.
"Kind," she is.
"Caring," they are.

"Nadia."
She is the ever-hopeful,
The triply beautiful,
The very kindhearted,
The infinitely caring.

"Nadia"'s.
They are the unendingly positive,
The unfairly lovely,
The unduly affable,
The unfailingly kind.

"Nadia," oh, how she shines
So brightly, so comfortingly.
"Nadia," oh, how she loves
Without judgement or favor.
But I am not "Nadia."

I am Nadia.

You would give the
world for me
satin sheets
coffee,
forest black
like a 3 am
night

You would give the
world for me
you'd hold me
in your arms
and sway
to
the summer's wind

the world for me,
I know it
diamonds on my
wrist and
my stomach's
always full

but if you
gave the world
for me
I'd be trapped inside
a globe.

If everything
were purple
then
I'd probably
fall in love.

They treat her skin like it's ******* and her tongue like it's ecstasy and her fingers like they're needles shooting up their veins with misguided entropy, but it's really just her poisonous lies she hides behind and things they'll never see buried inside that they become addicted to.
They swear they can quit, they swear they'll get clean, they know girls like that are bad, they're not someone your mother would want you to see. All she leaves them with are some track marks and a broken heart.

The sunlight looked like moonlight at 2 in the afternoon and the way my skin looked when the light hit it through the blinds made me lose sense of reality and track of time. The moonlight and my pale skin are the exact same shade and it's not just a coincidence she has the same name. Eventually the night actually came but the moon shed no light, I was surrounded by darkness and memories that fly around my head screaming their goodbyes. Ghosts that dance on the walls and replay in front of me, I was entrapped by the past and put off by the future and everything is a long line of suture.

The whole time I was haunted, I was begging for something enchanting. Grasping for something to hold on to but all of the handles in this lifetime are already being held onto or they're broken. I let it go in the dark like this was all a false start. I could see the track marks she left on your arms, they reminded me of the stars.