Today I cannot write,
my soul crawling in  misery
I have a lump in my throat
and all I can do is fight the wish
to cut it out.

At the end of my fingertips
the words are dying
as I touch them with my red nails
and in my mind I am slowly realising
that the world is not the place
where I belong.

I'm a misfit,
a creep ,
my ugliness  building walls in my soul,
my eyes are bleeding,
while in my heart I am still wondering
whether I deserve to be loved.

upon myself the sky cries
icy teardrops
cracking up my brain
my skin hurts
and in my soul
the answer to my question is a big NO.

*No, love will never find its road towards my soul.

the caterpillar can't comprehend the life of a butterfly x

you tell me you are just like everyone else.
and yeah, maybe you are
You tell me that you aren't the only one to yell.
also true
But what you fail to realize:
1. Most people do not torture their children
you have
2. Most people do not demote existence
you have
3. Most people think that injustice is real
you dont
4. Most people care about their family, and their emotions
you never have
5. Most people care about equality
you do not
6. Most people appreciate what they have
you think people owe you everything
7. Most people know what abuse is
you think everything is justified
8. Most people support their family
you have only brought us down
Look,
I know you can't be perfect.
But you have gone so far down.
You have shown me
how to be better than you.
You swear that when I have children,
I will be "just like you"
However,
my patience is more,
my love is more,
my passion is more.
You have taught me how to be nothing like you.
your own daughter,
says I am better than you.
Well,
maybe so
What you fail to realize:
**I am nothing like you

Bad jokes
are always the best

this wild ride I'm on
i really don't like it
this road I travel
is broken and cracked.
These memories I hold
stab my wrists.
Like I mirror,
showing everything through its body,
the world's twists and turns
and unexpected burns.
This place I live
seems to consume me.
Like a dog barks,
I cry.
seems like every day.
And I'm sorry that I could not hold it together one more day.
But its the memories that makes me scared.
The ones like this:
I can remember
going to bed.
I was so ready
to end the day.
I had just fixed my bed.
I climbed in
my bunk bed,
brother on top.
Suddenly,
I felt my leg getting pulled with an aggressive tug.
I saw his eyes
his eyes
they were studying me,
my fear induced face.
Then he swung me into my dresser.
A bang echoed through the house.
Brother crying,
mom lying
saying I deserved this.
He continued to slam
my eight year old body,
all over
my violent-infested room.
My back.
The pain.
No gain
After it ended,
I was told to stop crying,
to stop trying
Fear still invades my breath.
The mirror saw it all.
It never got to tell my story.
That mirror
has seen me cry,
and has seen me sop up my own blood.
It has seen me
burn myself
It has seen me
mock myself
and the mirror has seen him too.
Its seen all he's done.
All those things hang
on the wall above.
Mirror, liberate me.
Mirror,
free me,
from this hate infested dimension.