I look in the mirror, but I see a stranger.
Sure, I put on makeup and clothes everyday all the while looking to make sure it looks good.
But I see the eyes I put eye shadow on, and the arms I put sleeves on.
I don't think I actually see the person as a whole.
I don't see the girl in the mirror anymore, and I wonder why.
I see red lips and bright eyes, but if you open her up there is no soul, no heart.
But I also wonder if it's always been like this, it just took me time to notice it. Which would be quite as sad.
But if this whole time I've looked in the mirror, I've seen a stranger, then that makes me,
Nothing.

I walk to clear my head
But at times it mostly fills it
I abuse my soul and body
So I've learned to take a hit
The cold air swirls through my lungs
As if a tornado of ice
I am my own trigger
Bleeding from psychological slice
I've learned to put down the blade
But my words have a mind of their own
I've tried to kick them out
But they know my head is their home
The mirror is just as much to blame
Telling me what I don't want to hear
Knowing that the sight of food
Will flood my conscience with fear
Every calorie is more weight
Which will never be cute
Like how a gun isn't a weapon
Without a blazing bullet to shoot
Nothing is ever perfect
And I know better than that
But I can be the closest thing to it
By getting rid of all this fat
No food, just empty water
Doing this every day by day
And I'm completely fine
If this is how I fade away.

They'll check your wrists
But not your thighs
They'll check your smile
But not your eyes
They'll avoid the truth
Believe the lies
Assume your head's
Filled with butterflies

This mattress feels like my back is on top of boulders
These sheets wrinkles are like two by fours in my shoulders
The stinging in my eyes makes them hard to open but hurt to close
My mouth like sandpaper from my throat all through my nose
My heart beat as steady as the long breaths I take
You can feel your thighs quiver as your wrists begins to shake
Fingers numb in ice burgs, but palms sweat from inferno
Stomach cringes from the drop but nothing left to show
My mind lied, Imagining my neck slowly closing tightly
You wouldn't think that this occurs nightly
I feel my bones crack as my cells die second by second without pause
But then again there is always that single strike of pain without cause
An alarm clock running through my head without a single snooze
The ringing I can't stop, but my control I can easily lose
Knees and elbows as ridged as the sound of my teeth chatter
Lips blue, skin pale, in constant fear that i may shatter

"Please don't"
You cry as the blood spills
That knife in your throat
Feels worse than the pills

The ones you took
For all those years
Will never suppress
The flow of tears

"Don't cry"
His whisper blocks the light
Senses weakening
But the words still bite

Sight a blur
But you can still see his face
Stained in your memory
Death turns to a race

His smile widens
With your last gasp
He leans in close with a
"You're not the last."

While going for a walk through a pretty bare trail I came across a blooming white flower. Let me remind you, it's the middle of April after the worst winter in a decade and the most snow Michigan has ever received. Anyways, while witnessing this white flower I felt the need to speak and connect with it.
So I spoke to the flower in a desperate tone saying "please, little white flower, teach me your ways." Knowing it wouldn't respond I continued. "How can you bloom so beautiful surrounded by this?" "Surrounded by brown and gray you blossom with pearl. I cannot bloom as bright in a world full of brightness, yet you bloom brighter in your world or darkness." I think for a moment though. "Maybe my world is as dark, if not darker. And your message to me is to see beyond the naive. To come out stronger when everyone else Is under the brush, to speak even louder when the others stay hushed."

But the thing is, this little white flower was just born to bloom first, born to be white, just born in the marsh to be ignored.
Yet as humans we try our hardest to change who we are to get noticed, an still don't.
Now I think that says something.

Kiss my neck
Leave your mark on my skin
Breathe in my ear
And show me the right way to sin

Hold me close
And intertwine our fingers
Tell me your dreams
And let your words linger

Put your head on my chest
And listen to the beat
Overlap your legs with mine
I don't mind your cold feet

You could be pushed against me
And I would still pull you in
Even with my eyes closed
I can still feel your grin

Now it's 2am
And I'm lying in bed
The idea of you and me
Has been tattooed in my head