there's four kinds of love poems.

1. the one about the guy who you wish to experience. the guy who makes you wonder. the guy you're curious about. the man who has dreams not yet revealed. the guy you have made a picture of in your head. the one you want to know.

2. the guy who broke your heart. the boy you love. love him more than anything, but maybe youre just not in love anymore. the boy who never quite transitioned to a man. the 'wrong time.' the one you thought you would live your life with. the one who wasnt perfect, or even great, but you thought of him the world.

3. the comparison. who you thought you loved, but realized later on there is a love much stronger. the people who fall into this category grows bigger with experience and time.

4. the love of your life and if you're lucky, hopefully he's the same person as number one.

That was being alive
Being loved for acting five
Reliving the child inside
As adulthood goes to hide
That was being alive.

You saw teardrops from stormy clouds
And asked, ‘why the sky was crying’?
‘Why is the little boy next door dying’?
You were really just lying,
To your conscience.
The pain never really stopped,
It was just a photo with edges cropped
The way you zoomed in on you and her
And the background started to blur.
Not everything changes, some things do
Because the sky will only ever be blue
Some days you’ll have patches of grey clouds
And teardrops that lonely puff enshrouds
You’re left with the thought of the inner kid.

The kid inside that didn’t think about crying,
The kid inside that never knew about dying
The kid inside that conspired to hide
Like it was playing a game of hide and seek,
Never knew that clouds could even leak
And the salty discharge between eyes
Were just sugar coated cookie lies
About how we were meant to grow old

That kid is not dead, just hidden inside
like a clumsy cat caught between drapes,
That kid inside is stuck and trying to escape
And will only ever come back to light
When you realise that you can grow up
but maybe growing up is simply enough
because growing old is not a must.

Relive that kid hidden inside you,
Because otherwise that kid would die
And then skies would be frail blue
And you’d realise why the skies would cry.

There won’t be bunnies in clouds
Magic dragons in built in closets
And all you will know is crowds
That were more invested in bank deposits.

**** GROWING OLD.
Constant search for hands to hold
Where weather only felt cold
Because warm was too much to handle
And you’d reminisce on scented candles.
**** GROWING OLD.

So forget what you have been told,
About how you were meant to grow old
That’s just a tear stained dream society sold
You don’t have to grow old
Because sometimes growing up
Is simply enough.

I wasn't there with my body
when you were happy,
or walking in an evening rain,
I wasn't there with my eyes
to see the tears you shed
I wasn't there to feel your skin,
to see your eyes bloom at night.
I wasn't.

I wasn't there with the body
that would keep your feelings warm,
I wasn't with the arms
that would make your pain go.

I thought i was there in your soul,
a shade of sea,
a morning in the spring,
my words, I thought,
they'd make you feel
the same sunrise that's in my smile
whenever your voice speaks to me.

I hoped I was at least a dream,
a thought of yours at night,
a traveller in your mind,
a phrase,
a nonsense,
I hoped
I was one of your cigars,
your cup of tea,
your rest.

I thought
I hoped
In silence now I know
I wasn't with you
at all.

I cannot decide which hurts more.

The pain from a sharp knife sliding across my skin left to right

Or from the pain from loving someone like you

Never in my life has the silence of this place
Been so deeply filled with His grace
I start to smile and begin to cry
Finally learning happy is no lie

I feel the wind blow
I smell the earth
Finally I have come to know
All that is my own worth

He gave his son for you and me
So that we can live sin free
I fix myself and begin to walk
While to him I continue to talk

Along the empty path
To help free others from the wrath

In a messed up world
Where money is gold
And respect is gone for the old
How do you expect me to mold
Where trust is a gone case
And money and fame are all you would have ever wanted
In a place where peer pressure is shamed
Even though we are all pressured peers
Where body, hair and face is all that matters
And smiles are taken for granted
Children are slaughtered
Elders don’t matter.
Where there is no one to miss      
For attention could be your sole bliss
“WAKE UP AMERICA” we say
When the best get away would be to be in a deep slumber
Away from judging eyes and first world problems
Then to be awake and fully cautioned
All we want is to be known
To be grown in a place where money falls like rain
Fake people, fake smiles, and fake relationships
So please tell me how you want me to live in a place
Where the air is contaminated with selfishness and greed
Where breaking hearts is considered to be “cool”
And bodies are left uncovered for selfless people to drool.
In this society doll faces are wanted and
Dark people are known as unfortunate
Where race, gender and caste define you
Save me from what I am forced to become
And forgive me for not following your muddy footsteps leading to mindless conceptions
Because I refuse to let your demons swallow this earth with tarnished imbecilic opinions
I want to make my own footsteps that leave engraved pleasure.
      

                                                                                    -s.s.s