Sick of being stuck awake,
I should probably bake a cake,
Stuff a file inside, then sit for an hour of wait,
Another hour to cool, use the tool to pry my mind from this cage
Blow out the candles, the world becomes my stage
But I fall flat on a crowd with button eyes, deaf ears,
Rusted mental gears, and smiles looking at me queer.
"Hi I'm Ryan, I'm a poet. I belong here."
Reading to a generation that skipped reading,
Stuck feeding off of the **** for free
Asking for another handout that a past life made them believe
They deserved, too delicate, while I stay thick like corduroy,
Poking fun like I should take some ilk, you're too soft
I destroy you, still drinking mother's milk, you're soft as silk.
Don't make me spell it out, we are cut from different cloth.

I've sat with my life choices happy as an oyster
In a month that doesn't have an "R"
People walk through the door and try to raise my bar,
You couldn't come close, don't judge those who trudge
Through mud and sludge then take a second to coast,
I'm still a star while others whack the green,
Barely even keeping up with par.

I don't even have enemies, I get angry with my own mind
That tells me I should be on a steady grind
Then find myself too tired to stay awake
Too awake to fall asleep, let's write it out,
I never was one to be good at counting sheep
I took to counting breaths, counting beats,
Never couldn't count on me, have a seat.
Let's talk it out and bake a cake,
Another file filed so I can free this cage,
I flee the stage.

For all that's ever gone wrong
For all the times my life was a mess
I swear I forget how much I'm blessed
It's amazing that I'm still here breathing,
My kid knows my face and follows my name
I have a wife who loves me and a place of my own
I don't question the place I call home
And I'm reminded daily I'm never alone
This life is a struggle and I do gamble with death
And even if the weather chills my bones
I can still see my breath
So that must count for something.
Nothing can mean nothing, right?

I have a couple friends that I rarely talk to at all
Society tries to tell you there's no problem money can't solve
I watch parents dope kids with pills for being kids
The same ones who grow and don't know how to live
We like to blame problems on all but ourselves
But when we run out of blame who does that help?
Life is a game and those are the cards you're dealt
Go big or go home but leave the porch light on
Because you may return like an old song

You think I've never been broke,
Think I've been over my head unable to cope?
You aren't unique in your struggle
But no one is talking so you sit puzzled
Like everyone has all the pieces, you're stuck with no thesis
What would happen if we really took off fake faces
And stopped taking blue pills, stuck in a matrix
Most hands aren't royal flushes and aces
You sit steady bluffing with a confident stare
While no one around even has a pair.
"How are you?" They ask, you open your mouth,
Take a deep breath and ready to unwind,
Try to speak then smile and say "I'm fine"

There's a place in the woods
Only lit by the inhabitants I invade,
Where I swam in the water,
You swam in the water.
We laughed because we'd cry
We cried because we stopped laughing,
Reality swept us away but for a moment
We left that all behind.

Deep in Macalania, only one other saw,
I was afraid of the future,
You were lost in the past, only we didn't know.
Only knowing I put my faith in you,
As the fayth helped guide our hands
If they had not sent you, I don't think I could stand.

Our lips touched for a second,
Our guards dropped for a moment
And the world's calm was put on hold.
The end of the journey as scary as death
Only moving forward in hopes of new breath
"Just whistle and I'll come running"

The one where the car is underwater,
And the pressure starts to creek
While the water seeps through cracks,
The cold pooling at your feet
The seat belt is stuck and you pull with might
The air starts feeling thinner, lungs are tight
You break free, as your strength comes back,
The windows each begin to crack.
Remember,

Swim up, it just isn't your time.
Swim up, while there is still light.
Swim up, don't stop.

The one with six chambers
Five cold and one burning hot
Spun with a flick then a click
Tell me how much danger can drop
At the hit of a hammer all other sound stops
The lottery doesn't play nice, son
Sometimes he bangs out like a gun.

Swim up, it just isn't your time
Swim up, don't stop

There's no streetlights on my street,
Not a single person walking by,
The kids are all stuck in school day time
The adults are stuck on a slaving grind
It's just one of those nights and one of those smiles
Where the situation is serious
But you can keep calm for a while
And in the silence of a night like this
You're totally in it.
I can't explain it better than that
Hopefully you understand.

I watch a movie that I've watched,
At least ten times before
for a familiar peace of mind
Barely watching, fighting a mental war
But, the cinema still rolls in a ritualistic way
Laughing at the parts
that make me laugh each time it plays
You know and I know it's going to be okay
Yet honestly I need a moment to unwind
And that is perfectly fine.

The hard times in life, they don't come at dark times
They come on a sunny Friday without a cloud
In a second of a moment everything can change
That's not always true, but it's true enough
Some meaningless advice from me to to you.
It's strange that you change from reader to reader,
I stay the same as naked as poetry
Keeping emotion raw and a flow with these words
I pull out of my skull in a second to say,
in a second to say whatever I feel like saying.

It's too hot in the day to go outside
It's too cold at night to stay alive
It's too late to sleep but, too early to be awake
My eyes are too tired but my mind's cranking thoughts
Work days are too long, mentally too shot.
I bet you felt this way too,
I bet you do.

It's two a.m. laying down, I feel inspired
You can keep the fame, the money, and whatever
I look to you and hope to be admired
Just a clever kid trying to make ends meet
Every time I pull them closer, they change the game
So friend have a seat, don't ask for a nickel or dime
While you're in my place, I promise you'll be fine.
I hold my own, I carry my weight, this life is golden
All the rest is a roll of luck and some fate
Rereading my own self and feeling great
While few others offer me their time and that's ok,
I'm already amazing, you'll believe me someday.

It seems unfair that I outlive my peers
As I get older, that will become deeper, i fear.
Today, I push with every muscle in my drive
Tomorrow, I may just live to survive.
It's been sitting on my head, the first friend i made,
Already made a leap to an early grave.
Free to be free but death has us enslaved
I'm talking to the walls but they ignore me still
Stuck awake and it all just feels unreal.

I've got a pocket full of tomorrows
In a pair of jeans with a rip
They only trickle out so when asked for time to borrow
I don't mind stopping even a little bit.
They tell me the stress of a job
Is worth a barely liveable wage
Something tells me I'm being robbed
Too tired to even sit and write a page.
Talking to myself as a child about the real
He says I shouldn't shake a hand on such a raw deal.

The same kid dreaming of a Tall-tale Town,
With a train blowing up cotton candy clouds,
I bet most people don't remember that now
Writing in physics class about a nonphysical town.
Now I write to slow time to think myself whole,
Time just being the distance over the speed
Sitting light years away, letting my story unfold
Until I drag myself back down to take the lead.
The stories may appear to some eyes with less fantasy
But I keep trying to write lines that defy gravity

There's a world out there flowing through the moon and sun
I won't stop dreaming until that world is done