my hands haven’t
stopped shaking,
since she’s left
she took my soul with her

heartless and numb
cold to the pain
i break my teeth on bottles,
forgetting your name

i want me back,
my peace and my sanity
for all you caused was pain
put a dagger in my chest
and ****** my name

i miss you
i wont lie
my love for you is true
but the pain you left is everlasting
so when i call for you
i find myself, screaming
catastrophe.

Games,

I always told you I were good at them,
and you laughed and said you could play them better.

Now it's cold and I need my sweater,
your love is gone and my cheeks are wetter.

But it's suppose to get better.
I shouldn't feel so dead.
The only emotion I've felt at this point,
is when we laid in bed.

Games,

I guess you were right..
Because you're not the one up at night,
Replaying thoughts and causing fights
Playing games involving knives
I'll mark my skin, yeah that's right
I'll write your name, end my life
Games.

With this last goodbye, I leave you this.

With this last goodbye, I miss your kiss.

With this last goodbye, I realize that the pain and the lies and constant fights were the dagger that caused us to die.

With this last goodbye, I wish I put the dagger down. Thought it was funny to juggle it, but look who's crying looking at the puddle now.

With this last goodbye, I realize I wasn't perfect. Maybe not worth it.

But with this last goodbye, I realize love is worth it, it's meaningful and deep, I hope to god I hold you in between the sheets, with this last goodbye, I say, sorry I love you.

i remember feeling excited
thrilled with joy
now i hide away
floating in silence

my insides are lit up
and i am conscious of myself
but my desire has escaped me
who pulled the carpet?

who has such control?
why have i lost my sense of self?
i'm fading, mother

i'm fading