I left, and nothing was the same;
I came back, and everything was the same.

I've changed, but you haven't;
this thing between us hasn't changed,
or has it?

You remain transfixed on the games,
and even after months of silence,
you expect me to play;
and I get a thrill off of saying no,
which admittedly is my own way of playing back.

I don't know whether I love you or hate you more,
but homecoming also means coming home to that dichotomy,
to resisting urges and old patterns,
to hoping you've finally figured out where I'm at,
that your path has met mine,
that you've changed with time.

These roads feel the same but also
like they belong to a life I no longer know;
new tracks on new albums make the soundtrack for the drive,
and you attempt to wedge yourself amongst lyrics of redemption
and desire.

I need you to let me go
but want you to come with me;
I need to live the new life I've built
but am haunted by past fantasies;

when I come home,
it can't be to you,
and when I leave,
I'm leaving you too.

She wanted to fly away
She felt she was not free
He always had his way
He took his mistress to the sea
She felt the urge to leave
She never had the guts
He never had some time
He was a very violent man
She accepted all of his flaws
He thought he had no flaws
She never left the house
He would not let her anyway
He said he loved her before ***
She thought she loved him too
She knew of all his ways
He payed for hookers anyway
She knew nothing was ok
He always had his way

I wake up and think of you
but I fear you do not do the same

it's been like this for weeks
waking up from the same old dream,
the dream that makes me teary eyed and weak
controlled by you.

but please don't think i'm trapped
for this is not the case at all
you see, it's only because i love you
that i have the nerve to speak

i love you, my dear,
but I fear you do not feel the same.