i often forget
the previous week
with my eyes wet
of tears so bleak

i often forget
who's there
who i met
the love we
used to share

i bet
there is no savior
only a debt
and my empty behavior

i remember
the debt of life
a burning ember
i hold no strife

forget the ember
forget the soul
forget the joy
forget the life
forget the will
i dont recall a hope

drag me on
painful obligations
drag me on
lost connections

i hold
no regret
just the weight
of every poor mistake

there will never
never be a day
where i make the wrongs
the rights
a day where i
where i ***** the mistakes

only a day
where i breathe the air
of an eventual
hope

hope is absent
as with a usual breath
the cycle continues
this sickness unto death

lack of hope
lack of hope
drag me down in
my lost self

drag me down
oh
drag me down
dead hopeless spirit

drag me down
my dear dead spirit
until hope comes

the lull of early morning
the blow of my noisy fan
cast me towards sleep

go to bed
dear
go to sleep and
dream
for just a bit

the world may not pause
while you're away
but you won't miss a clause
of yours

six hours of sleep
enough to make me yawn
but not put me too deep
in exhaustion as if I woke at dawn

my weekend
of insanity
begins to blend
in my soul of vanity

From friday
to tonight
i fell prey
to my soul's bite

i dealt with
the scream
in my mind
when a dream
was all i wished to find

the going was rough
but the pain
was put to *****
and began to drain

this weekend i survived
the insanity
from which it derived
has hopefully brought back my humanity

there's a roach
dear ******* god it's a roach
as i'm typing away
all day
i see this roach
i will not approach
there's a duck outside wow!
but oh **** the bug is still inside
oh ****
oh god
oh ****
it's getting closer
pow!
i smack it
it's name was ed
it is dead
bless
the end

but it's not the end
just another distraction
a route to a dead end
the bug may be mush
while my brain's turned to slush

I look in the mirror
I look in my eyes
see all the time
the wasted time

my day is a night
when I wake up
all that remains
is 6 hours of light
I'll make no change
I'll be awake all night
no exchange
for early sleep
unless I obtain
a good reason

seems it has been quite
quite longer than
eleven weeks
since we last spoke
i'm sure that on this early morning
you're only sleeping
but i'd like to share
some basic ideas
Perhaps you
can't forget it all
in fact

it might be the sad reality
that all you can do
is reflect on
a good old memory

the simple memories that you hold
and seem to also run through my head
even if i refuse, the inevitable rises
that i must accept those
precious hours
we had
and it seems that
i like to reference songs in
all of my reminiscence
through this incoherent series
of run-on sentences

to answer your questions
do you want answers?
at least now
after all this time
quite longer than
eleven weeks
since we last spoke?
or may i leave your questions
as mysteries of your poem?
the answers
can only be guessed

guessed
emotionally
or logically
we do know
what happened this year
and it seems that
i took you
as far as you could go
hugs are nice
so embrace the hugs
selfishness is a construct

you can't be afraid
to care for yourself
and explore
your desires
i'm sorry i didn't stay
why would an affair
be needed
to visit you?
well, i sure hope
my lacking presence
doesn't wrack your brain anymore