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look deep into my eyes
and tell me that my pain
is not visible.
because my shallow eyes,
which burn from the tears
that you caused,
say otherwise
I still have scars
Not just physical, but
mental scars from you
that never seem to fade

You seemed to show no interest
when I begged for help
or when I needed your love
and comfort.

You slammed my door so hard
that it broke one day.
So did a little piece of me.
I just wanted to show you attention,
The attention you never gave me.

You get mad when I sit quietly,
isolated in the darkness of my room.
I shake whenever you walk past
my door, its become a habit.

Screams scare me now.
I don't seem to want attention from anyone
I still sit alone, in my quiet room
I've turned into a wallflower.
and you're the reason why.
Call me crazy
I refuse to talk in a room full of my peers,
Because I am afraid for
How those will react to the
“Shy” “Quiet” “Odd”
Girl to speak.

Call me crazy
I would rather be home writing
Enjoying a hot cup of hot cocoa rather than
Be out late at a party
With a random stranger
Who likes me for when I turn around

Call me crazy
I do not reach societies standards
For a barbie body,
Straight A’s,
Or owning the hottest pair of jeans on town.

Call me crazy
But I am not like the rest
And I refuse to become somebody
Who I do not want to be.
Lovely tragedies.
The more we think about them, the less we know
They are more than just confusions.
More than the stereotype that is given to them
They are art.
They are beautiful.

Butterflies cannot see their wings,
But the rest if the world can.
One might not think of their beauty,
Or not think any beauty is given to them.
But butterflies cannot see their wings,
But the rest of the world can.
They see and admire their beauty,
Even when they don’t believe that it’s there.

Lovely sadness.
An ocean of sadness waves over me at night
Shaking, like a leaf.
Confused, like a bee without a flower.
And scared, begging for comfort.
And then silence.
Silence is the killer of the night.

There is no blood on the walls
Or weapon of choice.
There is an empty mind,
And true sadness to ponder on.
You shake and cry, think and ponder,
But it will take over your mind.
Silence is the killer of your mind.
There is no safe space.
No place to weep when your mind takes over.
Lovely safety.
Your guardians are your protectors
Some don’t have protectors.
Some may scream
Some may hit, kick, or leave
Physical scars can heal
But mental scars, will never leave.

Freedom is your only dream
Escape from the screams
The pondering idea of freedom
Lovely safety is your only goal.

Lovely goodbyes.
If you removed everything you didn’t like
About yourself,
What would be left?
Not all goodbyes are a loss.

— The End —