you say you want me back and you're sorry for pushing me away
you were scared of getting hurt
and you felt an overwhelming amount of emotion while you were with me
you didn't know how to handle it

but as the days go by you miss me more and more
you wish you never let me go because you can't find the spark anywhere else
and because you know i was such a rare find
so you hate yourself for running away

but then i woke up.

"i hate him"
but i still think about you, for some reason

"i never want to see him again"
i'm scared that when i see you again, it'll all come back

"he means nothing to me"
but you were everything to me

screams and nags
violence consumes her home
but that's the only form of love she's ever known

insults after insults
words that can shatter the heart
but that's the only form of love she's ever known

marks left on her skin
cries for help, wishing it could just get better
but that's the only form of love she's ever known

"i love you" doesn't mean anything anymore
it's always been just a lie to her
affection and kindness are all just a mind game, right?

he walks in her life with good intentions
intentions of only to love her
but he becomes afraid once he realizes the darkness she, as a person, entails

she can't help but become hostile
she scares him away, even though she knows her heart longs for him the most
self sabotage is what she does best

he leaves in order to take care of himself
he knows he wouldn't be happy with someone as unstable
but she understands, because that's the only form of love she's ever known

it's unfair it's unfair
she has a heart of gold
but they treat her like she's just like anyone else

it's unfair it's unfair
she pours her soul into everyone she cares for
but they just leave her to rot in the flames

it's unfair it's unfair
she still has a heart after being wronged so many times
but they just keep doing it to her

i'm practically on my hands and knees, Lord
begging for a sign
of whether i should stay or go

by holding onto you
i'm failing my friends
i'm failing my family
but worst of all, i'm failing myself

the more i try holding on to you
the more my heart breaks
my love for you is screaming inside me and i'm trying to hold it in
because i'm not sure if you feel the same
did you mean all you said to me?
or has it just been a game all along