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May 2017 · 524
Omnipresent?
Renae May 2017
Able to see everything
To act anywhere
(Proverbs 15:3; Hebrews 4:13)
A spirit person.
(John 4:24)
Invisible to you and me.
(John 1:18)
Visions recorded consistently
(Isaiah 6:1, 2; Revelation 4:2, 3, 8)

The spirit realm,
distinct from physical creation
A “dwelling place in the heavens.”
(1 Kings 8:30)
The Bible mentions an occasion
when spirit creatures
“entered to take their station”
God resides at a specific location.
—Job 1:6.

If God is not omnipresent, can he really care for me?

Yes. God cares deeply
—Psalm 34:18.
—Psalm 32:8.

Stars and other creative works
“declare the glory of God.”
(Psalm 19:1)
Telling us of
his power, wisdom, and love
jw.org
May 2017 · 395
Happy
Renae May 2017
Would you like to know the secret?
I have a secret to tell
It so simply makes sense yet
So many just haven't got a clue
On how to be happy
In this old world
First things first
Here's what you must do
Be the very best you
you've ever dreamed of
Treat everyone you meet
How you would treat yourself
Find the beauty in everything all around
Walk away from negatives or
Let the positive abound
Always remember love
Number one and always first
God's kingdom
that thought alone brings happiness
Unsurpassed
So be grateful for the undeserved gift
knowledge of the ransom
God's son
Learn the truth and spread it like fire
Let other know the exciting good news!
Jesus rides and is the answer
He has conquered this world!
Reversing the effects of sin
Equals true happiness
King of Kings!
Prince of peace!
Making all things new
Bringing love eternally
Nothing else comes close to this
May 2017 · 236
Good times
Renae May 2017
Call em what you will
Nights by the fire
Underneath a blanket of stars
A circle of chairs
Sounds of song in the air
laughter
flickering fire lit smiles
Salt & sand in the distance
Ocean tides roll in
Take me back
to carefree
lightweight, good times
May 2017 · 1.5k
Desperate
Renae May 2017
Desperate times call
for desperate measures
At least that's how the saying goes
Or something like
You never know what you can do
until you have nothing left
There's a few more like that
Something about **strength

being the only option
Or being your own best friend
loving yourself first
Understanding and forgiving
younger less wise years
Oh yes and understanding
those desperate tears
And realizing
You're not as desperate as (they)you
thought
Nope, your far stronger than desperate
You've weathered so many storms
You look back and know
No matter what you go through
You can endure it
Rise up my dear
you are so strong
Yes
You're quite the opposite of desperate
Note to self
May 2017 · 581
Assertive
Renae May 2017
"Be assertive"
I heard back in my teens
I thought to myself
"What does that even mean?"
Assertive like aggressive
Not exactly my idea of class
Assertive like action
Take action like *"step ahead"

Yes that's more the idea
I have in my head
Assertive like "make things happen"
Like "the moment is now"
How will anything be what we want
If we don't know how?
So we assert our imagination
Creativity in peace
Assert persuasion
Messages with ease
If that is the case
Then I will agree
To be assertive then
Is to live out your dreams
Apr 2017 · 358
Serious
Renae Apr 2017
Could you be
For just a moment
Pardon me
I wasn't being facetious
I am serious
Yes
Even though we had a fling
Whatever you call
That thing
Whatever it was that
Threw me for a loop
Commitment was clearly
Not what you wanted to do
How simply wrong
I am utterly confused
One day you want me
The next I feel used
So yes I am serious
I did only want you
But not anymore
Not since you twisted my brain
Didn't even care
Caused my heart so much pain
So yes I am serious
Especially when I say
This can't even be friendship
Starting today
Agape brother
Apr 2017 · 644
What's worse?
Renae Apr 2017
What's worse to you?
Being ignored or being used?
How about when they're interlaced
Still impossible to choose
Either way you see it
No matter what
You lose
Apr 2017 · 326
Closure
Renae Apr 2017
I guess it's time to close this chapter
Another flop
Another struggle to fix
Another "just forget it"
Life is too hard
When love is all you need
But it feels like a maze
Never to be solved
Never achieved
Like the Rubik's cube
No matter how long you concentrate
No matter the level of your focus
It just doesn't add up
So frustration takes over
Just throw your hands up
Toss it in the waste basket
Try to forget
But there's always
that incomplete feeling
Apr 2017 · 620
Subtlety
Renae Apr 2017
Tiny hints
So action packed
Thought provoking
Wheels turn
Too fast
Slow that
Relax
Learn that subtlety
Class
Trust the process
Learn the mind
Know a 3 fold cord
Is hard to find
Let it be
That subtlety
Like that
It's unusual
Giving everything
meaning
Mar 2017 · 533
Out of the blue
Renae Mar 2017
The gloom was thick
Everywhere I turned
I could not see the path in front of me
Who is it now?
Where are you?
I call out your name
Into the darkness
The thick grey smoke
You seem to appear
I am taken into daydreams
I think it's clearing
Then I find it's not even true
If you're not the one here
I don't want to open my eyes
I don't want to know who
I don't want anyone
If it isn't you
Then I see you on my screen again
Out of the blue
The smoke clears
My mind feels giddy
Like it's all brand new
Until you leave me alone for days
And I can feel the gloom
Approach me
I crawl into my feelings
And lock everyone out
Mar 2017 · 857
Then they will know
Renae Mar 2017
Bullying seems to only be accepted
When performed by government officials
Terrorism is viewed as legal
As long as it is carried out with a badge

Since when did it become okay
To label innocence extreme?
Peacemakers "troublemakers"?
I'll tell you,
When peacemaking interferes with power
When war is the goal
When scheming for personal gain & greed rules

Bullies are leaders
World rulers who take dignity away
Downtrod good people
Put love to shame
They think they are the end of the line
They title themselves almighty
Little do they know the consequence
Their hands are bloodstained guilty

Minds bloodthirsty
Hearts black as coal
The vengeance of Jehovah
Comes upon them in an instant
It is then, they will know.
Then they will know you only are Jehovah
Then they will know your ways are just and true
Then they will know throughout the whole creation
All you have purposed
You will surely do
Mar 2017 · 777
I am all cried out
Renae Mar 2017
I remember
when it was overwhelming
Bubbling with emotion
Pouring love out like an overflow
I gave until the last drop
Imagining the happiness of giving
Satisfactory appreciation
My willing sacrifices
Now a memory
I now love with
The burden of me
Broken hearts & crushed spirits
Mar 2017 · 403
Lonely tool
Renae Mar 2017
Alone isn't prison
Not when everyone needs you
You can be used for something
Nothing maybe you might need
But always for good use
Like a tool
Tools are lonely but useful
A lonely tool is a good thing
It can be put to good use
Until it is worn out and
Thrown away
Mar 2017 · 274
Tired
Renae Mar 2017
Slowly sliding halfway off the cushion
The pillow behind my head feels a bit too
Hard for my liking
It keeps my eyes peeled for something
Anything that might spark my interest
Enough, is there any such thing that exists?
No, I've decided, nothing could keep me
It is too late to resist, heavy as they feel
Eyelids close
like blankets covering windows
Cover these loud Windows please
Life is much too chaotic for the likes of me
No, I feel myself drifting
I am much too tired for anymore of this
Much much too tired
Mar 2017 · 204
Done
Renae Mar 2017
It doesn't make any sense
So I'll give up
The twists and knots
You've made in my mind
Too intricate now
Too many times you've
Looped through and through
I cannot pull it apart
It's too much now
Too many lies
Too much uncertainty
It was you
I chose you
With patience
I stood up for you
I withstood humiliation
With understanding
I listened to your accusations
saying hurtful things to me
Another twist
I allowed
Your intentions
not for me to be happy
Instead your intention
Is hurtful
And I am done
I am through
I am finally
Over you
Mar 2017 · 170
Simple truth
Renae Mar 2017
I cannot love based on imagination
I cannot imagine love into my life
To truly tell I'm loved,
that it's not infatuation,
Takes a real man who wants a real wife
Renae Mar 2017
my heart is ******* in knots you know
each time I tried to let love in
"No!! Not again!!" It said
and twisted a new knot in
I don't believe I can get them out now
this last one, it's really too tight
It hurts my fingers when I try to pry
I tug and pull with all of my might
Now it's not just in knots
it's also all bruised
I think it's a hopeless endeavour
So I will go on with knots in my heart
For the rest of my life or forever
Mar 2017 · 520
Insurance
Renae Mar 2017
For the life of me
I cannot understand the monotony
Chasing tails up and down stairwells
Ludicrous!
How can you call this excitement?
I cannot remember the last 5 minutes!
This dreadful spinning
Responsibility is heavy
Calling all my friends and family
Government mandatory
Legalized this circus
There is no way around it
you must have insurance!!!
Now they will label me
Certainly the wolf at the door
Stacking up bills
You can't afford to ignore
So maybe one day
IF you qualify
You can give someone money
When you die
I do not want to be an insurance agent
Mar 2017 · 429
Easy
Renae Mar 2017
If only anything
Decisions especially
Were for sure and without a doubt
Only expectancy
If I could wrap my brain around
The why's or what's so crazy
How could I be so blind
Self destruction plagues me
I long for positive thoughts
For a life without longing
If only it were easy
I would never be lonely
Feb 2017 · 501
The beginning
Renae Feb 2017
I shiver with the thought of him,... rushing through my mind. It feels like a cool breeze on my skin, making my arm hairs stand on end, sending chills down my spine. Just the thought of kissing him, our arms wrapped around each other with fingers tracing outlines, his breath on my neck... I could stay this way forever, he knows what he's doing to me. This is only the beginning.... how I hope it stays this way. One day everyday, you might be thinking maybe after awhile it won't be as exciting as it is today....or maybe just maybe we'll make it stay this way.
Like a fine wine, love only gets better with time.
Feb 2017 · 376
Never over
Renae Feb 2017
Please tell me
my crazy for you
Makes you smile
That my instantaneous
Is exciting!
My true friendship
Is comfort and hope
my emotion
Is **** feminine
Please tell me
My heart is pure gold

It doesn't matter
If I already know
You can say
I'm your kind of spontaneity
That I'm funny
Or silly or cruel
Please tell me you like me
Or better
you love me!
You already know I'm
Your fool

Maybe we'll never
Be anything
more than you and me
Friendship
Means everything
So please just tell me
This is never over
Feb 2017 · 720
Commitments
Renae Feb 2017
A loving relationship
doesn't just happen
It's not like flipping on a lightswitch


Commitment is a process
a wedding ceremony
A promise

Emotions may lead us
Though understanding, sharing our lives
Is hard work & compromise

Communication in dialogue
Is the key
Experiencing true love
Is our own

Love should start romantic
A gust of exitement sweeps us off our feet!
Naturally

The truest test of love
Will come from willingness
To share in the delights of life;
negotiating the bumps in the road

A mutual exchange of ideas,
any relationship
is the needs and experiences
of two people

Face misunderstanding
open and receptive with respect!

Navigate even the most difficult situations.
Take a deep breath, hold them
in a space of love,
Listen fully with all of your heart

A greater level
of personal transformation begins,
Learning powerful lessons
about ourselves.
Renae Feb 2017
Trust is a risky investment
It often backs me into a corner
So needless to say
Love does not come easily for me
Physical beauty is deceptive
Hair, eyes, lips, feet....
Meaningless, unless to serve
A purpose
Seeing, breathing & warmth
Clothing style...
shoes, hats, coats, scarves... accessories... fleeting
They only dress up the outside
So, now as we peel
back the layers of this onion,
We begin to reveal
The secret person of the heart
Here is where self love is possible
For here is where self love begins
Honest
Real
Giving
Thoughtful me
I am undefined
selfless really
These are just the beginning
Of my list
No
It's not super lengthy,
But the value to me
Is unmatched
Renae Feb 2017
I feel so sentenced by your words
I feel so judged and sent away,
Before I go, I've got to know
Is that what you meant to say?
Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?
Words are windows, or they're walls
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the lovelight shine through me.
There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?
If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words,
To the feelings that we share.
-Ruth Bebermyer
Love this poem
Feb 2017 · 549
Refuge
Renae Feb 2017
Be my mind today
Protect me from myself
The threats that atempt
to take away
My sanity
Be my heart
Help me not to sway
This way and that
Protect me from heartbreak
Be my helmet
Let me only look to you
Feed my mind courage
Let my strength renew
Be my shield
Let your word be my guide
Let me listen to songs
Your people sing
Bring out the best inside
Be my sword
The only one I yield
Make me remember
Scripture
Don't  let me listen to how I feel
I know my heart
Treaturous thing
So I know I need your help
In everything
I will ignore this heart
I don't want to assume anything
But you will help me through
Because you are my refuge
No matter what life brings
Feb 2017 · 583
Story
Renae Feb 2017
Have you ever felt like
Some hearts believe they can see
Right through you
To your core and reasons
They think they know you
though they have no idea
They can't fit the shoes
You've been wearing
If only a glimpse were caught
Available; though it's not
What remains
Is hearsay and guessing



And this is the story
That's believed of me
How they think
I know what happened
Or what's happening
If I did anything
of my own initiative
Why did I too
Feel like a lunatic?
They say I chose my outcome
To fall apart
I am cold as ice
That I don't have a heart

So I freeze
in solitary confinement
I pray for my enemies
Crying tears of silence
Wishing death would come to me
Though it doesn't
I love and move along
Only enduring
That's my story
Don't get it twisted
Now don't you worry
It won't make a difference
I believe in the one
Who's never giving in
He fulfills his promises
& when I pray
He listens

Throughout our lives
We live many stories
Some we're amazing
In all of their glory
Sometimes in despair
We trip and fall
But we get back up
And the story goes on
Feb 2017 · 284
Gifted
Renae Feb 2017
Why does it seem
only the ones who dream
are gifted of
so many things...
Yet cursed of happiness?
Feb 2017 · 568
They say
Renae Feb 2017
Good is bad
So bad is good
That's what they say
You can do what you want
Don't matter the cost
Live for today
You'll be forgiven
Don't walk away
It's only temporary
YOLO anyway
That's what *they say
Feb 2017 · 225
The answer to anxiety
Renae Feb 2017
I do not crawl on hands and knees
I am not weighed down with worry
Like so many who've told me
Worry comes naturally
Instead I hand it over in a hurry
To my creator who listens patiently
Who doesn't always fix everything
Not the way I expect it to be
No matter what he protects me
Knows my heart; he gets me
So my best friend he'll always be
Keeping me free from anxiety
Matthew 6:33
Feb 2017 · 236
The best
Renae Feb 2017
My heart speeds up
When we meet
I never smiled so bright
Like when I read your thoughts
She said
It made her sickly
How happy you made me
Ear to ear smiling
I sat waiting
Listening,
Learning you
I said
That was the best
Feb 2017 · 335
Hit
Renae Feb 2017
Hit
Nothing ever hit me quite so hard
And I've been hit
Don't get me wrong,
It's not what you're thinking
or maybe it is
You see that's the thing with me
I never know
And I've finally figured it out
So I let it hit me
For the last time
Feb 2017 · 479
Forever
Renae Feb 2017
Is forever so long
You keep using forever
Saying it's never ending
Forever in love
Forever together
If love ends so quickly
Forever would be to me
Such a long long time
Jan 2017 · 280
All I ever wanted
Renae Jan 2017
Kiss me as if my kiss
Was all you need to be content
It's all I've ever wanted
Hold me as if I was the softest mink
As if my warmth was your craving
Love me like you would if
You knew I'd be gone tomorrow
Love me with all you are
Love me like I was you
It's all I've ever wanted
Jan 2017 · 246
Almighty
Renae Jan 2017
Who is the ancient of days
From before time
He made the giant sea swim with monsters
He caused the sun and moon to shine

Can you tell me?

I am searching because I know Him
From a book He wrote, that speaks
of science before scientists!
An incredible book that speaks of future events!

A book that is alive & sharper
than any two edged sword
This is a book
that tells of honest reward

A guide I use that helps me live
A clean life free of guilt and shame
The only book that's ever been accurate

Jehovah is the author's name
He is God Almighty
I search for Him through Jesus name
And somehow I know He finds me
Jan 2017 · 612
I don't care
Renae Jan 2017
I don't care about the ones
Who steal and take
I don't care about those
Who cause others pain

They **** the life out of happiness
Don't want to be part of that plan
They **** families and love and kindness
And fill the world with only bad

I hate those who love violence
Who twist words and make them wrong
I hate those who hurt innocence
For selfish power is all they long

Their hate is for what is good
Making it bitter
Taking what is right
Trying to make it wrong

I hate the darkness of this world
It is nothing to me
Nothing but a blackness
That is about to be gone
Jan 2017 · 435
Narcissists
Renae Jan 2017
If I had a peacock list
Of Narcissists
As far as it could go
At the very end
A line would read
*Choose one to be your beau
Dec 2016 · 639
Just for a moment
Renae Dec 2016
I miss you, you know
Time lingers for no one
Strength subsides
Flesh is weak
Hands searching
for something sweet
Just for a moment
Until you fill up
My empty spaces
Dec 2016 · 191
Never you
Renae Dec 2016
It isn't impossible for me
To shut it down
To be alone completely

Even in this crowded sea
I could die that way eventually
Only tears slide silently
Down my chin from rosey cheeks

You easily show me what would never be
You give me glimpses just to tease
So maybe I think I should die lonely
And no, it wouldn't bother me
Dec 2016 · 546
Something
Renae Dec 2016
Try as you may

One simply cannot wish

into existence

Something as wonderful

Something as simply divine

Filling every empty space

With ultimate excitement

Something as beautiful as

Something so pure

So true

Something that makes sense

Of everything

That something called

Love
Nov 2016 · 448
Complicated at best
Renae Nov 2016
Explain you say?
I can't

It's too complicated
A human inclination
So desperate
So insecure

When suddenly
Like a storm
A gust of reality
Stirs up your home!
Members confused
Tossed like salad
Thrown away
Like the trash

Head's a mess
Heart's in distress
Heal from this?
It's too complex

He moved on so fast....
Who could blame him?

In my shoes
you would have
done the same

So who's to blame?

It ain't no thang
8 years pass
As if it didn't exist

Starting over
Laughs at me
As if I could forget

I can push it back
I can, It's just....
Like a heart attack

What can I say
I still feel the same

Complicated at best
Nov 2016 · 1.0k
Observation vs expectation
Renae Nov 2016
If there is only one thing
I am certain
If there is only one thing
I know for sure
It is that expectation
Postponed
Makes the heart break
What is better?
Observation?
How can I observe what I cannot see?
How can I know what is not
In front of me?
All I know is what is routine
If the routine stops
So does the expectation
Once that disappears
You are free
Sep 2016 · 278
Money
Renae Sep 2016
Money cannot love you
Money cannot cry
Money cannot care
Money cannot try
Sep 2016 · 627
Agony
Renae Sep 2016
Once upon a time I had a heart of gold....

Then one day
The day that door swung open
All of a sudden
Reaching inside
love was stolen...

Insert
a slow disseminating of cracking stone
Spreading intensely to each and every fiber
of my once content
once in love
once living, breathing soul...

Now I sit only enduring...
Fake smiles for my children's eyes
watching them,
They're unknowing...

Lives,
without understanding

Growing up too fast

Watching us,
without trust
without love
Sep 2016 · 212
Keep it to yourself
Renae Sep 2016
Stay quiet
I am done with contemplating
You're too in love with yourself
A woman
Is not yours for taking
She belongs to herself
Sep 2016 · 430
Memories
Renae Sep 2016
Yesterday you showed me how I should of been
I walked beside you as you held my hand
It was only yesterday you pushed that strand of hair
away from my eyes and caressed the line of my face
The memory of your gaze waits for me around every corner
Like something I was supposed to pick up
I was supposed to keep
I must have put it away somewhere safe
Somewhere no one else would find it
Sep 2016 · 263
Impatience
Renae Sep 2016
I'll be the first
though it's hardest to admit
What you say?
Impatience

Like a predator
Ready to pounce
In an instant
A sharp Crack
Stab of words!

So Impatient

Still.....

It lingers on me
I am unable to deliver
demands you seek
I am stiff like a cold
hard drink held in your fingers
I sting
until I am tasteless
Impatience
Sep 2016 · 207
Deceased
Renae Sep 2016
To cease to exist
Sep 2016 · 232
Confess
Renae Sep 2016
I confess
happiness is his
With a wall so high
arms fill with emptiness
In tattered shreds
My palpitating heart skips
Barely beating
hit and miss
Jul 2016 · 252
Empty
Renae Jul 2016
Poured out

Open hands
With closed
eyes cannot see

While taking
Never giving
Resources deplete
Jun 2016 · 278
Pain
Renae Jun 2016
The most wicked
unimaginable pain
caused by...

nothing to the naked eye

a wretched
and broken lie

to a child
to a teen
even to an adult being

is this

*"I can do it, but you can't"
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