I wasn't going to buy another dog because it hurts too much when they die.
But I decided to buy another dog and she is my Sweetie Pie.
When it comes to the heart, losing a pet sure will break it.
When it came to my former dog's death, it was hard to take it.
But several weeks later, I ended up being in luck.
I bought another dog for only two hundred bucks.
Hazel looks similar to my old dog and I sure am a lucky guy.
My former dog was my Baby Doll and Hazel is my Sweetie Pie.

It was six months ago today when you drew your final breath.
When I found you in my kitchen, I learned about your death.
It was the day that every pet owner dreads.
At about 10 PM, I learned that you were dead.
You were my baby doll and I loved you a lot.
If people wonder if I'll ever forget you, I will not.
You were my dog and a companion who was a loyal friend.
It was heart breaking when I saw that your life came to an end.
When such a beloved dog dies, it's something that is hard to bear.
You were my baby doll and when I go to Heaven, I hope you'll be there.

I want to share a story of mine.
It's about how to never have to wait in lines.
If you listen to me, you will no longer have to wait in line at stores.
If you take my advice, you won't have to wait in lines anymore.
A few call me smart but most call me a punk.
Every time I go in a store, I always carry a skunk.
When people see my skunk, they always run.
When it comes to being in lines, I'm the only one.
The salesclerks get nervous as my items are being scanned.
Sadly, when I go in a store just once, I'm always banned.
A lady still stinks because when she screamed, it caused my skunk to attack.
The store owners put on gas masks and always tell me not to come back.
You should listen to my advice even though people call me a dunce.
But if you carry a skunk in each store, you'll only be able to do it once.

Something bad has happened, we've lost Dawn Wells.
Her friends and family must be going through Hell.
When we lose such a talented person, it's hard to understand.
For a few years she starred on "Gilligan's Island" as Mary Ann.

She died because of Covid-19 complications.
Her demise is sure to cause devastation.
Her family will find it hard to let go but they will have to try.
Dawn Wells has perished and it's sad to have to say goodbye.

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran off with my spouse.
That fatso stole everything that I had.
I was shocked because Santa went bad.
All that he gave me for Christmas was the finger and some coal.
I decided to get even this morning when I went to the North Pole.
I gave his reindeers liquor and got them drunk.
When Santa started flying, his ship was sunk.
His reindeers crashed and Santa has a lot of broken bones.
And to add insult to injury, I pelted the punk with stones.
Now Santa is in the hospital in a body cast.
I got even for what he did one year in the past.

Certain people believe Sean Connery was the best James Bond and they're right.
He also starred in "The Hunt For Red October", "The Presidio" and "First Knight".
When he died on Halloween, his family and fans were sure to grieve.
He gave a wonderful performance in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".
In 1958, he starred in "Another Time, Another Place".
When he died, it was hard for his friends and family to face.
When we lost such a talented actor, it was a shame.
Talent should've been Sean Connery's middle name.

You died and it's something that I don't like to remember.
You won't be with me again on the 25th of December.
Nine Christmases ago was the last Christmas that I spent with you.
When it comes to your death, I wish I could say that it isn't true.
You were the most unselfish person I've ever known, you loved to share.
You wanted me to be happy and it was wonderful to know how much you cared.
You gave giant print Bibles to people while you lived.
You were so very special because you loved to give.
It's very sad because we can't be together on Christmas ever again.
Merry Christmas, Mom, you must be having a ball up there in Heaven.