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I’m so sick
of dreaming of you
falling asleep
and you’re back in my life
the mistakes we made
the fights we had
we words we said
all forgiven
I’m back in your arms
my heart swells with happiness
you’re back!
I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to shout giddily
and I’m back!
back where
I’m always longing to be
but then
I awake
and a bucket of ice water
runs down my face
down my back
stealing the breath
from out of my chest
I’m needing a life vest
I need someone to help me
because
I am not in your arms
we have not forgiven each other
and you are so, so far away
I don’t leave the other side of the bed empty anymore
I guess that means I’ve given up.
I stopped sending you texts inviting you over
I guess that means I’ve given up.
And yet
I still turn the sound up on my phone
Even while I sleep
Just in case you call.
And yet
I still break down into tears
When I’m laying there alone.
I wish I could throw my feelings out
Out in the trash, where they belong
Life would be easier, wouldn’t it.
Instead
I long for when you’ll love me back
 Feb 2020 Raj Bhandari
Cyclone
to all that took the time to read....

sleep tight!,

I keep you in my prayers to see another day as well. Let's make it last forever as is heaven and hell.
 Feb 2020 Raj Bhandari
Cyclone
I make decisions when my stomach hurts.
So scared
What be of us after we kiss earth goodbye?
Where do we go to?
Who do we become?
There is fear,
The fear of the unknown.
 Feb 2020 Raj Bhandari
ardnaxela
You ever felt like the Moon
was crying with you,

An existential just-because
Imagining if your existence never was
The type of feeling
it would be difficult to explain..

An amber crescent set low in
a mass of darkness
A lone candle to bring
Life to the shadows of pain

Tell me have you ever
felt the Moon cry too?
4:40 am
 Feb 2020 Raj Bhandari
Cathy
I wish you every comfort
As you settle now to sleep
You can do it all your own way
There’s no timetable to keep
I know that you can hear me
But can’t express your need
But you don’t need to worry
Every tiny sign I’ll heed
Any possible discomfort
I will soothe away
All love respect and care
That it’s possible to pay
Is yours for now and always
As it comes upon your time
And the privilege of caring
Is forever mine
She claims she is her hero
Just stay a size zero
She promises her happiness
Here we go, back to this
There's no way to shut her out
She feeds you with self doubt
Will there ever come a day
That she'll really go away...
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