Staying up late, so late it's early
Then dreaming long and far.
"Come on, get up you're missing the sun!"
"Ah! But I see so much more of the stars!"

T h e r e  are images
of you blurred just on
the  very edges of  my
sight line.  My peripheral
is constantly catching you
fixing your glasses or watching
tv with one
arm resting on the top of your
head and the other reaching
out to  find me or messing
with  the  soul  of  your
loafers that couldn't
h o l d
themselves
together   after
eight years of traveling
this town with you.

a september bride her hollow sounds
fearfully echo on the leaf strewn trail
with intonations of a blushing bride to be
she makes a graceful vision
obscured only by her hamfisted collection
of undesirable father figures
who stand round the groom and brow beat
him with dire dreams
but his eyes are for her alone and
the tigers of her sensual rainforest
"lions, tigers and bears...oh my!" she whispers
into his eager ear with a sardonic grin

her hollow sounds both haunting and beautiful
they will stay with me as a soulsong
long after history has devoured her
namesake and words
a quick poet of the three line shoot from the hip haiku
pink glossy eyes all damp with remembered tears
she is the quintessential september bride
the long summer nights swayed her
the longer cold winter may undo her
but it is a girlhood dream that
she knits with papier-mâché knights and
bubblegum queens
she waits for me there
to officiate the proceedings
with a bottle of red wine and single red rose
wrapped in the tender notions of
loves sweetest kiss

imagine;*

peace, a place in space,
for noise,
for surrendered souls,
yet unwilling to admit,
wrongs,
misgivings, distrust,
slander, lust
thrusting pain,
disdain,
lying lame, dormant
inferiority complex(es),
transferred,
disturbed.

(thirteen)

ego, self-will,
willful ******,
pertinacious
resistance,
unrelenting
tireless
forces,
evil, cunning
retrieval
of, emptied
hearts,
of hands,
tied.

(thirteen)*

© Sia Jane

I am fire & ice
I am forward motion
I am strength & determination
I am going, going gone.

I am everything you want to see
Focused and pummeling
Going where no others go
I will never stop pushing.


But there's a secret side to me
That you ain't gonna ever see
There's a lie that hides deep in me
That you wouldn't even believe.

I am trying to fight
Straining for a light
I am dying inside
Failed every time I tried.

I'm caving in to pressure
Missing the boat, missing by a mile
Life's beating me a hundred to one
The water over my head gets higher and higher.

So stop if you think I'm perfect
Stop if you think I'm what it's all about
I'm burning, true, burning to ashes
So someone douse me before I burn out.

I put on a show
I give you what you see
You see me through a haze of lies
But the backstage sees the broken me.

I burn from the inside out sometimes
When my heart likes to collapse
But sometimes it's outside in
From this life's raps & taps.

Someone gave me hope once
They told me to keep my chin up
Held me when I was crying
Helped me to get back up.

I've known that when life is harder
When I want to give in to those lies
I can't hide behind myself too long
When they know, it'll be no surprise.

I want to be someone's hope
Someone to warm their heart
I want to give them joy to believe in
Maybe acknowledging my pain is a start.

one year ago was
the conversation
(you know the one)
abouthowyouknew
were were meant to
be together. i had
thought this would
get easier but lately
i've been missing the
wayyouusedtosqueeze
my arm   and   tell me
something beautiful.
i wish i could ask
you to come back
to me but i know
you'll pick her
every time.
i'm sorry
i loved
you as
much
as i
did
without warning.
i hope
someday
your heart
will find mine
again,   though.

as much as i don't have my ****
together (as much as i forget to
do my dishes or take out the
trash or breathe regularly) i
would have figured myself
out for you,   would have
taught myself to be tidy
and small, would have
studied   the    art    of
going  a   f u l l   day
without  having  a
panic       attack,
would   h a v e
read   up   on
how  to  get
myself  out
of bed and
i n t o  the
s h o w e r
every  day.
i     haven't
watered my
plants   since
the  first  week
o  f      j  u  n  e.