so this is it
a waste of my
time.
Time better spent
waiting for your goodbye.

But you walk right back in
like its your ******* life,
take all you can get
at least until the next time.
  
I wallow in this
pain left behind

making me sick
the taste of your lies.

Closed my eyes
While the feeling
building up inside of me
  Stands on my chest, that caves
     Makes it hard to breathe.

Let's do this again
And again. Like my mind can't forget
Every single word they say, speaking to my anxiety.

And so it begins
Like it ends
Then I'm left to pretend
It comes easy as friends
that I have made,
But not today

I'd rather isolate.

My intentions stood
On everything good.
Tried to fix it
But can't skip the inevitable

Merciful his grace
Discovering my faith
Can you fix it
Can you  make my mind quit

Confusing thoughts with words, why can't I make it work.
Dyslexic
It's a mind game
And I dont want to play.

My place in the dark
Having no way to stop
Myself from getting lost.

Heavy weighs the solitude
Sicking the attitude.

Mind rotting the thoughts
On replay
Muttered words I must say
That I wish I could explain
this type of way..
That I choose

To live like I do.

My face to the ground
As I pray
****** cries in his name.
Terrified my heart aches
Knowing why I'm betrayed
By the world I thought I knew.

The symptoms worsen
As I brace myself for words, not ready.
Even though I know the truth behind my eyes is surfacing.
Foolish I've become, to all outside myself.
I'm numb
I tolerate the pain.
I focus on the gain, such selfish ties
Hold me restrained
Back from my life
that I once was living.

The truth is such painful step
To take when I don't want to yet

But each day I see what I get.
Makes me wonder.. is it worth it?

Now it might seem
So close to perfect..
Perfectly fine
like I say I've always been.
   Though you know I've never been.

Rest assured of your demeanor
a presence that once seemed so kind

As I look deeper and deeper
I still cannot find your reasoning to lie



Silence sheilds and hides
you away from me

Another day beside you
  

Another day lost to night

Is there any way I could break through?

I can't escape your frame of mind

All I know

All that I shown
To you ..exposed
Still feel Unknown.

So opposite
Till we meet ourselves.
Then forget the pain
We felt in loneliness..
  Still making scars.

The pain exists..
And made these scars.

The pain exists...

Inside both of us who still
Say "it doesn't hurt!"
   STRUCK, you can taste the blood
     Still it doesn't change

the me in you..

You hate the me in you!

I hate the you in me!

But we can't deny
This hurt.

We're in a world of such hurt.



Stealing the meaning
Of the life you had.

And killing the dreams..
Once inside your head.

Leaving scars..

The pain in depth
So deep it scars.

The pain exists..

Inside both of us who
Can't stop when they taste the blood

Polar opposites
Besides the fact
I'm facing you in me
I hate the you in me
You the hate the me you

And we can't deny
This world
I have to be in with you
Hurts.