I weep daily............
Not
Due
To
My
Pain.
But,
After weeping i feel so much relief
of
Burden.

I know i 'm bad
but i want to be good one
and i will!
Than i'm not bad.
because i have desire to be good one
And good desires never think bad one
So i'm good.

i feel
life is like a race
and
we are horse in face of humans.
but still,
horse have no self control,
But
humans have self control.
b/w
that
I
found
The winner is always horse.

I saw you standing there
I know you cannot bear
With weary eyes and skin so dry
You looked down wanting to cry

You want to hide in unknown places
Kept running away from your fears
Covering up your ears
To the words you don't want to hear

Storming days suddenly passed
You didn't moved until the sunlight flashed
You looked up and surveyed the sky
Finally found a reason to smile

I try and paint a picture of what happiness looks like to me,
but for some reason it always comes out blank.
I try and use my poetry to describe the feeling of what I want my happiness to be,
and I become confused and the words jumble into nothingness.
I sometimes see this as a sign that I was never meant to be happy.
That my happiness is subjected to become something I could never understand or apprehend.
I grew up thinking happiness was for everyone.
I later learned about depression and found that everything was a lie.
My friends ask me what makes me happy,
and the only thing that comes up is the idea and concepts of what happiness is,
but I never can say what my happiness is.
I know I want Love,
but
does
Love
want
me?