" Don't listen to pop punk,
Don't listen to rock,
Those are the words of the devil,
Those aren't words you should be saying",
The mother lectures.

If only she knew,
The way Sleeping With Sirense churned my emotions,
The way Roger Rabbit gave me confidence,
The way Who Are You Now gave me perspective,
The way With Eyes To See and Ears To Hear made me feel okay.

The way Pierce The Veil messed with my thoughts,
The way Hell Above filled me with anger,
The way Million Dollar Houses filled me with hope,
The way King For A Day boosts my energy.

The way All Time Low brought forth my happiness,
The way A Love Like War made me feel so alive,
The way I Feel Like Dancin' made me feel like dancing,
The way Therapy, gave me therapy.

The way My Chemical Romace inspired me,
The way Welcome To The Black Parade gave me faith,
The way I Don't Love You ignited strength within me,
The way Teenagers made me feel normal.

The way You Me At Six enlightened me with joy,
The way Stay With Me made me feel whole,
The way Lived A Lie made me want to punch a wall,
The way Crash made me feel like crashing.

The way Mayday Parade poked daggers through my soul,
The way Miserable At Best lifted up my sunken ship,
The way Terrible Things made me feel like I was going to recover,
The way Stay made me want to stay.

The way Linkin Park generated electricity in my veins,
The way Numb made me feel numb,
The way Castle of Glass built me up all over again,
The way Breaking the Habit gave me the resilience to get up and fight.

I want to hit it hard, not romanticize about the blood ya feel me?
As you read that first line,
when you cross over to the second,
your nose will start to bleed just before my fist connects with your face.
I often dream about it, being feared.
The only reason that you're on the ground is because I put you there.
Quite frankly I'm fearful of myself.
My throat still holds the ache of the alcohol going down.
I swear to you I'm doing better.
I swear.

I can't swear in this house hold so I will talk so quickly creating run on sentences without punctuation or breath because I'm panicking over nothing in particular.

******.

Add some shakes to your vocabulary and you've got it right.
My medication puts stray dogs under my finger nails, that's ok because dogs are happiness.
That's supposed to mean I'm happy.

I made myself write this, its horrifyingly scattered just like my head.

That's not right.
That's wrong.
Something is terribly wrong so I must fix it.

That's what I do,
I fix.
I'll just look at this as art.
Some persons trash is another ones treasure.

I'm too scared to write anymore.


This is garbage.

They don't know it but they're under inspection.
I'm watching while they fumble around each other trying to figure out how to figure,
it's ok because I already know.
I don't have a clue on how to figure out what they are fumbling over.
But I've figured out why they trip around each other snapping if they can't figure it out.
My opinion isn't valid and I'm not going to speak up because they haven't noticed I'm here watching.
I'll never teach what i've learned, they already know the answers to the wrong questions.
They would still fumble over the question and snap at each other trying to figure out what I've already figured.
I'm sitting here watching them trying to figure it out.

I can choose where to put my bruises.
I chose to run the bath water a little to hot so my skin could know what it feels like inside my head.
I just want to let everyone know that i know.
They can stop telling me every breath I had made was wrong.
I've been doing this breathing thing for quite a while.
Replace breathing with living and now you've got it.
I think I should rip my eyelids off so I can't stop seeing what I've done.
Maybe carve it into my legs for a reminder that I carried myself away.
I just want you to know that I know.
I have bruises on my knees and I don't know how they got there.

I wear my heart on my wrist so i can cut out all the bad parts.

God forgive me for I have sinned.

You gotta think outside the box.
So I did.
It got me locked in one.
Just because I wanted to leave reality I had to leave my city.

Baptism of fire.
Or a temperature of 103.

These prophets forcing me to drink wine.
Or red Gatorade to detox.

On the main floor we are all dressed the same but one claimed that she was Moses.

One claimed she brought down a giant with one stone.

Moses had a vision to part the red sea on her arm. So she did.  

David carried rocks in her pocket, she brought down her giant's with a spoon and lighter.

That first night I prayed.
I don't pray unless I need to. Believe me, I do everything in my power to never need to.

This place is not holy.

Would you believe me if I told you a 12 year old lives here because she chose to touch her brother in spiritual places.
I think the devil touched her.
She tells the workers that she wants to baby sit.

She tells me I'm too pretty to have asthma .

I tell myself 10 days until I'm home.

God forgive them, for they know not of what they have done.