its
time
to
let
you
go
and
finally
set
myself
free.

You remind me everyday,
I am not enough.

Jokers dressed as king of hearts,
Cupid is asking his arrows back.
We rode in a getaway car,
It felt like flying, but it didn't took us far.

You found me.
I prayed for someone just the way you are.
In this vast and beautiful universe,
I bet we wished at the same star.

I miss your smell.
I miss the way I bury my face in your chest
and sniff you.
The way I close my eyes and try to memorize
the mixed smell of your perfume and your sweat.
I miss the way you get sweetly-angry and smile
when I try to smell your armpit.
I miss the way I am with you.
The way my heart ponder while I tightly
wrapped my arms around you.

You had me at my best,
I had you at your worst.

You left me at worst,
She had you at your best.

Was leaving really the answer?
You found yourself,
But you lost me.
You earned freedom,
But freedom meant missing you.
You had me under your feet,
I let you linger in my skin.
I want to keep on loving you,
But loving you was my greatest sin.

I am tired to be your sometimes.
I want to be your always and forever.
Love me in my weakest,
Not just when I'm available to satisfy your needs.
Make me feel loved when I am alone and lonely,
Not just when it's convenient to you.
Be there for me for always,
Not just when she's not into you.

"Why do you need to know everything?"

Said by the boy who told me he loves me.



"Okay, Noted".

I told myself with a heavy heart.

You were enough for me,
In the best and most specially on our worst days.
Even you throw our love away.

It's so dark here from where I stand,
I can't see even a single light.
Walking alone in darkness gives me solitude,
I guess I am used to pain and I am not afraid of hurting anymore.

If my eyes could just speak,
It will scream at the top of it's lungs
And try it's hardest to convey what it's feeling.

The pain,
the pressure,
the tiredness,
the unworthiness.

It will surely shatter
And break into pieces as it explodes
due to pain.

Save it in your lips,
If you don't really mean it.

Even the rain screams your name.

I wish I could tell all these things
Straight to your face.

But I don't have the courage
To see you hurt.

The more she stops her feelings for him,
The more she has fallen.

I still
can't believe
that what we
had and cherished
was all
gone.

....

It just happened in an hour,
But the memory stays forever, so as the pain.
It was a mistake,
But it was a mistake I'm willing to commit.

Happiness.


Why do you cost so much?

Even at my best,
I'm still not enough for you.


And I think, I'll never be.

Oh dear,
you got that beautiful smile.

But your eyes are tired.
And the eyes never lie.

I'm tired.


That's all.

No sleep is enough
when it's your soul
that's tired.

You said you are afraid to lose me.
I never thought you were that strong,
Until you face your fear and left me.

You sleep well,
While my heart cry.

I have no plans in giving up on you.


But you are giving me enough reasons to do so.

"Reality will break your heart.
Survival will not be the hardest part.
It's keeping all your hopes alive,
When all the rest of you has died.
So let it break your heart."


-Paramore, 26

Before was
sad, empty, and tired eyes.



Now it is
lifeless.

its funny
how you're
suddenly concern
about my
happiness
while
you're the
reason of
my sadness.

Always me and you.





Always.

In this chaotic world,
I wanna be chaos with you.

Her courage is her armour,
Her strength is her weapon.
Her wisdom is her strategy,
Her smile is her mask.

Go.
Take all the time you need.
Feel the freedom.
Feel the space.
Feel the distance between us.
Be happy.
Be happy even without me.
Even I'm not part of the happiness you need.

I have this fear of losing you,
And I can't keep it off my mind.
The fear of dying anytime,
Just when you say a word and the spell will eventually cast me.
The fear of you pulling the trigger,
Of the gun I personally handed to you.