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What if...
What if is a funny phrase
it has endless possibilities
What if I fail?
What if I fall?
What if it’s not your choice at all?
What if is for the worried
who think of all that could go wrong
What if I fail?
What if I fall?
But what if you fly?
~and for Harlan, who loved this one best~

"for tandem is the ever-changing, graying color of their fierce attached tenacity"

waking/walking in
careful pacing regular lock steps,
like new cadets, counting cadence,
in perfect silent, almost motionless,
except for the minuscule quivering of
slightly parted moving lips

these two elders,
still now plebes,
freshmen
but of a latter, graduated stage,
demonstrating robustly
the slow shuffle-along,
a well practiced dance conjured
'in tandem'

her arm, crooked in his,
his other hand,
in protective custody of a
knight's armored chain glove
encasing hers,
he, shuffling just,  
a precise, intended half-a-beat slower
lest she ever think
that she, ever be a drag upon him

hair, his,
threaded with daily,
new arriving grays,
proudly accepted
as the privilege of
graceful aging

hers,
disguised with periodic outings,
outings for the hidings of life's bookmarks,
conceding nothing ever to
time's lunatic desire to separate them

modest in dress,
styling hints of  pasts' elegant,
the man's hat defiant,
daringly jaunty angled,
a small scarf to handbag knotted,
matching his Windsor knotted tie

the passers-by, all smile,  
the signal charm of an
end game processional,
thinking so sweet,
yet mine eyes detect more,
something
hardy and radical

a fierce, fierce fierceness,
both fighters in the resistance,
armed with tandem tenacity,
ground given,
but only inches surrendered,
wounds resisted by
scar skin toughened
by the caress of ions bonding
under the pressure
of atomic level mutuality

worn out,
well past Purple Hearts,
no capitulation feared,
to the ever changing,
enemies' new disguises,
they,
a two person platoon,
each,
having the other's back

and I burst into tears on the street,
a train of out loud moans,
even groans emitted,
like a string of perfect pearls
breaking,
clattering on an asphalt terrain

weeping
not
from visions of the inevitable,
sighing
not
from the certitude of a
cycle's uptime ending


but jealous furious by this reminder delightful,
angry at myself, for having lost so many wasted years,
mine, the loss greatest, for absent was the
fierce tenacity of tandem
for my aussie prof:
you will know me well
by the color of
my happy brimming tears
 Mar 2017 precious joy
Jandel Uy
i remember last night
i drank too many
and ate less

the canvas against
my skin felt empty

and i got a text
from an old friend.
he tried to take his life away

i opened another bottle
it was stale

i got a text from my lover
he told me to leave
while i can

i can't

the canvas wasn't empty

i am
 Mar 2017 precious joy
Jandel Uy
Later that night
she listened to the beating of
  her own heart.
It sounded weird,
she said. Like raindrops
  on her metal roof.

She laid her head on
her yellow pillow. Have
   I always been this sad,
    she wondered.

And her heartbeat
was in tune

Always
  Always
    Always.
Addiction to this
Way of life, this country pride,
While others love it
Now serving breakfast
honey kisses on your lips
And love, good morning
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