I wish to be found, across
Miles of distance, across lifetimes
I wish to be discovered in
Such a way that I’m left in awe
Of all the things I didn’t know
About myself

I wish for you to find me, even though
I say I don’t need you; I wish for you
To try, and try again, so hard that I
Have no choice but to let you in

I wish to find you, you that knows me
Almost as well as I know myself
I wish for you to know me, truly, to
Look so deep inside
Into the darkness that I’ve been afraid
To explore

I wish to be found, in this lifetime
And the next, by you, who is the one
For me

No matter how good work
if it is not done with love
it will be in vain

No matter how evil work
if it is done with love
it will bear fruit.

Think less
feel more

speak less
being wordless,  explore

don't follow
the crowd
you'll have lesser doubt

what people
hanker after, withdraw
wanting is trouble

don't be a part
of any cause
it might come from
an unworthy source

don't be a part
of senseless laughter
life it mocks
it has no character

that which people ignore
might contain
the very seed of wonder

people seek immortality
not realising it's the greatest folly

keenly observe the outside
it will enrich your inside

values are permanent
fame and glory hardly remain

let others regard
you as silly
don't treat them as enemy

know the substance of life--
there's joy and fulfilment
but equally, of sorrow and strife


in the midst of inequity
show your empathy and generosity

in your final days
be not bitter
say instead: I've had laughter

I know it don't mean much now
But
I'm sorry

the next secret i don’t dare say out loud:
sometimes i see a woman
and wonder if i’ve been wrong all along.

i love him, i do,
but then why does she make me question everything?

maybe it’s nothing.
maybe it’s everything.
i don’t know.
i don’t know.

i'm so afraid.
i slept too little last night
woke up in a hazy existence
& my entire chest feels tight..

i contemplate on things i've said
& i've run out of words to say.
everything on my mind, has been spoken
but none of it made you stay..

i tell myself it's okay
that i dream about your touch,
as long it i don't let it go too far,
or dream of it too much..

but my eyes glaze over
for hours on end, thinking about you,
1000 scenarios thought about,
& i don't know what to do..

i always think i've let it go
& you always seep right back in,
he asks me what's on my mind
& i don't know where to begin..

i went to therapy, started over
everything you're supposed to do,
but somehow i'm 21 again
falling madly, madly in love with you..

however, you don't deserve me,
not after all you've put me through,
but i still sometimes hope,
you'll find me out of the blue..

i'm on my knees now,
screaming "rid me of this sin",
i prayed to every God & devil
but i guess they won't listen..

i know it's not right to lay beside him,
with you there on my mind,
i swear, i truly tried to leave him,
i tried to do what was kind..

but i think he's in denial
maybe more than i ever was
& i promise i really do love him
& he loves me despite my flaws..

& i swear most days,
you simply fade away,
& he's my world & i am happy
& everything's better than okay

it's just the end of winter
that rekindles all my loss
birthdays, breakups, secret nothings,
& all the lines we crossed

i guess somehow i know
i'll sober up from your high,
so until i smoke next winter,
i guess this is goodbye,

forever caught between
the idea of you & me
the reality of him & i

forever caught between
the idea of you & me
& my refusal to be free

As i look up in the sky
A sky that is night
I see beautiful things to take
Pictures of these wonderful
Stars and constellations
As I do my phone filled up and
Soon I am stargazing with my phone
As I do so I find that life is easier
With the phone instead
If a telescope
When I look at my pictures
The beautiful spheres are
Captured forever
On Facebook and Instagram
What wonders the universe
Has to offer us.