it's just a word or two
a few syllables dropped from my mind
turned to slivers on the floor
and i step purposefully, heavily
upon them
so that the shards of myself can be painfully absorbed
back into my bloodstream

in other words, i'll do whatever it takes
to hide those shards from the open air
eyes and ears and even hearts
would never understand my language
so why try?

and now my blood is contaminated
with my own wayward thoughts
haunting my veins, trying so hard
to drift back up into my soul
and are they poison?
are they foe or friend?
am i my enemy or can these thoughts defend
my own fine line
between insanity and just another roving mind
the tightrope quivering in the cold air
i am always one step away
from an accidental leap into ice crystals
and sharp snowflakes
and another reason for all these stares
strange looks, imagined or real
pierce me like no arctic wind
could ever do

am i my crutch or my own splintered bone?
sunglasses or the blinding light?
the question or the answer?
truth or lie?
lie or truth
or both
or none
or just confused
or crystal clear
or muddy water, near the bottom
sinking down into thin air
and cloudless skies
and sentences that make no sense
and metaphors defying science

do i defy science or reality?
or am i just a monster of the two
born to question without end
born to close my eyes again and again
and write words into my spine
to keep me upright
in my dreams

eyes and ears and even hearts
would never understand my dreams
so how could i?