...or leave me in your wake.

You never believed me when I told you
I was not some do-it-yourself, weekend project;
these holes are beyond your repair
and you simply have to live with them.

But you thought you could fix me.
You have wasted your staples and plaster
and spread paint over casts
that never even fit.
The dust of the drywall has settled
in the hollow of my throat
and choked out my laughter,
and I am simply tired.

These halls were meant to be tred lightly.

I tried to warn you, but you,
thinking yourself experienced,
announced your arrival with loud steps
and by swinging wide the windows,
and proceeding to tear out the frames
so you could make them anew.

So if you cannot learn to tiptoe,
I will have to draw the shutters
and remember how to lock the door at night.
Those old muscles will ache
but it won't be hard to relearn.
For I am Misery's daughter,
and you thought you could fix me.

It’s a normal night
a little bit of ***** and
the sky has something
in it’s teeth,
I can’t pick at it
all i can do is look
as it smiles down at me,
the chill peeking into my skin
as everything around me
seems so content,
raspy footsteps around
a frozen yard trickle
down my earlobes,
moonlit cigarette smoke
dancing like scissors
across my upper lip,
the sound of nothing
but tearing paper
kindling before my eyes,
distant cars
singing roadside echo’s
charing my ears
like burning flower pedals,
and all that crosses my mind
is the how unfathomable
the beauty of nighttime is,
I find myself daydreaming
when the sun sets
and sleep walking
when it rolls over,
the emptiness of
eventide is a glass
half empty being
topped off half full,
repressing every
ominous feeling of
daytime, but the
one thing that
will subside not
is the ubiquitous
thought of you.

You didn't care much for Easter
or for flowers for that matter
yet I went to the store and bought
a bouquet of pink and yellow tulips.

Now here I stand in the midday sun
my shaking fingers clutching the long green stems,
as a warm, slow tear drips off my chin.
I kneel down and set the flowers down next to the temporary sign that holds your name,
wondering again why I even bothered.

I grab a handful of the dirt that now hugs your body and cringe at the thought of you laying just feet below me.
I can't help but wish that you were here.

Plump, skinny, short, tall
I'm surrounded by beautiful, talented people
They shine bright
Gifted
Short blonde hair
Plump *******
Long brown hair
Long waist
Tall and thin as a stick
Don't get me started on their eyes or face
I'm surrounded by beautiful people
All of them shine brighter than me

Maybe she is your one...
    *But are you her one?

I get that knot in my stomach
Every time that we talk
Knowing how happy you make me
And knowing that it's wrong