That feeling
Like you wrapped your cold hands around
My heart
Squeezing the warmth and love out of it
Until it was empty.
But I never minded,
As my heart loved the feel of your hands
And needed to be cooled down every once in a while
Because every time I looked at you
It warmed up again.

Keeping life a secret
sweets in a pocket
to take out when alone.
Childhood was a journey
to freedom.
And when finally escaped
from all the disguises.
The child began to live.

I toss rocks up at your window
that splatter like airborne blood clots.
My eyes are red from crying.
My tongue has been ripped to shreds.
You look at me once, go back to bed.

Do you think the moon
loves the sun,
anymore,
than his thousand
mistresses of stars?

I stopped writing about you
That's when I knew I wanted it to be over.

My heart is unruly
And the key you keep will break its locks
No matter how they mould and change
But it is locked all the same.
The doors are closed
To impish jealousy and green eyes of mischief
To the stabbing knives of rejection
That fly in like butterflies, waiting for the sink of realisation.
To the pain of unknowing
A perpetual roller coaster without a harness
To the sweet agony of your peaks and lows.

Loving you is too hard.

I try to think of you as poison
To feed on feelings of heartache and injustice
But I know, in truth 
You are a tempest
Fraught with indecision and rage
You run deeper than an ocean
With limitless currents
That chop and change beyond your control 
Too frantic and complex for me to ever comprehend.

I can't put you in a box
Lock you away 
I can't make you the enemy 
I can't regret everything we've had
But I can't go on like this.

I need this to be over.

Rain on the window,

Droplets flirt as they foxtrot,

Finding their partner.

i breathed him in
like a drag off of
one of his cigarettes,
long
slow and
cool.
i held him in
before exhaling
and promised
this time would be
my last.