What shall it be called when one knows they are failing oneself?
when the simple decision to succeed is the only thing lying between
the fear of failure has been replaced with the fear of fortune and good will

Because, where will the reasons for being the way you are go?
when succession is upon us

It is as if you set out, one day last week, to be the person you have always resented
Sleeping all day, staring at a screen all night and getting nothing done in dreams or real life
With sleep you are met with only nightmares, yet you'd rather be there than here
And your wakefulness only brings about regret for the hours that you spent in your bed

so you sleep again to hope that a new day will erase the problems of yesterday
but instead you bring the problems of today into tomorrow
a never-ending cycle that spins round and round until you're overwhelmed or you don't give two ***** about the person you once were or have become

and I wait no longer, as the train pulls away
to find a better life, without filth or decay
but great woe there be on mine heavy heart
when the train's gone, grows shadows and dark

I do not know if you experienced the same shame
Where all those tears were yours to blame
Or if you've known the Maker's mark
That leaves you tattered and torn apart
A soul (no body), a beating heart

That's all I've ever heard these past five years,
"You just have to make it 'til then."
Preceeded by what?
Relief, Success, an end
But, no, your trial only starts anew
With every break and holiday the same
"You just have to make it til Christmas Break."
But what is the after?
Because after I make it, I don't know how on earth I could ever do it again
But, I have no choice, and that is my choice,
So, I'll make it to Break and then I'll start it again
And make it to Spring Break
Then maybe to May
Maybe to Junior year
And maybe til I graduate

But if this is the way I feel
Through all "making it"
****, I don't want to