My issues

aren't important

when I see the world around

falling apart on shaky ground

faith depleting

hope fleeting

people dying

breathless and out of breath

with no beds left for death

it's haunting me day and night

seeing the little light

dimming and dimming

darkness brimming

I feel useless and so out of hope

that I find difficult to cope

with my own issues

that seem nothing today

like a sad excuse

I've got nothing more to say.

i don't know
what's making me show
my screen glow
in this dark dark room
where all i have is gloom
i have everything
yet nothing at all
so many numbers
but none that i could call
too many blessing to count
yet so much self doubt
my dad's playing his good old songs
my mum's watching her series
yet here i've been sitting for so long
that my own head seems eerie
it's pouring out
the silence too loud
i miss a friend i had
his memories making me sad
there's none so bold
to ever fall for me
i've been told
i'm pretty
yet the irony
that none think i'm worth
i too curse my birth
i also miss my sister
her death gave my soul blisters
that still bleed and will never heal
i don't want to feel
just an adrenaline rush
a sext here; there a crush
nothing permanent
nothing to cement
just give me an hour i crave
i promise, after that i'll behave

Everday
on my bed
as I lay
with images in my head
of him in me, on me
my wrists tied, my heart free
heavy breathing
souls seething
so much passion
******* in every fashion
I let all these thoughts
guide me to places
where pleasure can be brought
with mere bites and traces
as I set a rhythm so profound
taking myself till I'm left astound
all I see is him, all I hear is him
and then as our hips stop
it's time for our lips to lock
only for me to open my eyes
and realize
all of this is nothing but lies
him, me and us
created by my mind
only for me to find
me all by myself and lonely
making me feel oh so guilty
filling me up with so much shame
this wildness I try to tame
in vain
in vain
because now I know that
my touch will get too much
over and over again
over and over again.

t h e  p r e t t i e s t

f a c e s

h i d e

t h e  u g l i e s t

t r a c e s

Your absence fills my heart

like an unclaimed piece of art,

you already knew

that I lacked hues

so

I

charged

U

for

theft

when

you

left

but you made me realize

how dull are my eyes

how muffled are my cries

how lame is my existence

how pointless is my persistence,

how far you are

when you still hold me close,

how easy I am

waiting to be the one you chose,

I know

in this world of "Hello"

all I'll ever be is "Crucio"

unlovable

&

unwanted

-a pretty little thing that'll

always remain haunted.

Why
do I
end up
alone
with my
phone
showing
screen glowing
with nothing
at all
no texts
no calls
just me
and this solitude
I wish for
someone
to intrude
but they keep
their distance
and
I keep up my
persistence
waiting
wishing
wanting
yet
the montony
is haunting,
I decided to
be okay
with me being
lonely everyday
but a small part of me
does pray
my heart
does betray
making me regret
all the chances
I didn't take
making me fret
over all the
bonds
I didn't make,
so I write this verse
on impulse
missing the absence
wasting the presence
living in the past
dying for a future to last.

Guys don't like
girls like me
pretty to the eyes
with insides ugly
a past so aghast
a mind so contrast
a tongue so sharp
a mess of shards
all I'll be
is me
and me being me
isn't ****
I'm repulsive
I'm impulsive
I'm not impressive
but very expressive,
some days I'm cold
some days I do what I'm told
some days I give you the fight of your life
some days I wish for you to make me your wife,
guys don't like
girls like me
chained to my fears
appearing to be free
I can smile in my pain
then cry in my regrets
keeping my heat safe
I'll love you in my brain,
all I wish is for
a guy like me
to like me
for who I am
and not what
he wants me to be
a chance, a risk, a gamble
a love story in shambles.