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323 · Jun 2017
Ordeal
woolgather Jun 2017
The clock is ticking;

As I wait for you to open your ears to me;

As I wait to lay my heart bare in front of you;

Well, not really;

I have always said,

That I've grown ready of any predicament,

But I'm still scared;

Of how you'll see me,

After I let go of the words swarming my head for weeks.

I apologize in advance:

*I really just had to say it.
Isn't even a poem
319 · Jul 2018
Little Light
woolgather Jul 2018
Come, little light,
Shine your brightest.
Come, little light,
Go and do your best.

Yonder, little light;
The future you aim to reach,
The vibrance of your days,
The radiance that you preach.

Yet you fret, little light,
For the darkness that covers thee,
Yet you see, little light,
How the darkness swallows me;

You hurt, little light,
You flicker and whimper
Until you shine;
Shine dead.

Be brave, little light,
Shine in the midst of oblivion;
Yet be one wise,
Don't venture the darkness alone;

The light of many,
Illuminates south pole north;
Yet never drown,
In the light of the crowd.

Come, little light,
Never be afraid;
Flicker, but not burn out,
In the strife that reality brings about.
I **** at writing now.
317 · Sep 2015
Untitled
woolgather Sep 2015
I cannot determine what I truly feel
What feels like a burn in my chest
Like a stake to the heart, difficult to heal
I will say, it has got me best.

I traverse my mind, dazed and confused
Of why I let you into my heart
I just succumbed to your silent tortures, plundered, abused
To your pleasures, I was badly hurt.

Do I really deserve this kind of pain?
I'm just a wandering soul, searching for love
Now the sun always hides, prevailing, the rain,
Like a caged, innocent dove.

Dramatic, yes, Idiotic, why not?
I just need to state my feelings.
I can't stand to wait, for my thoughts to rot
I only have losses, never winnings.
I just feel so ******* confused right now. I can't make up my feelings for someone.
311 · Sep 2016
Waves
woolgather Sep 2016
I'll say it time and time again,

I love you.
Iloveyou.
Iloveyo
Ilovey
Ilove
Ilov
­Ilo
Il
I;

Until I become alone and dead again.

I;
In
Ine
Inee
Ineed
Ineedy
In­eedyo
I need you.

Your presence gives me desperation.

I love you.
Iloveyo
Ilovey
Ilove
Ilov
Ilo
Il
­I;

Even though I know you don't think of me;
I know that "I love you" for you would be;*

I;
Id
Ido
Idon
Idont
Idontn
Idontne
­
Idontnee
Idontneed
Idontneedy
Idontneedyo
I don't need you.
It comes back stronger than before
311 · Apr 2016
Tattered
woolgather Apr 2016
He was once a joyful kid,
He thought he had a picture-perfect family.
He loved everyone around him,
He had the joys of the world;
He was happy.

Yet the allegers came into the scene,
Brutally murdering his happiness,
He cried for days, of course,
But after a day he always shrugged it off,
He never knew what it meant.

Day by day, the sky grew darker,
His parents constantly shouted,
His afflictions constantly battered him,
The wolves wounded him deeper,
Yet he never, understood.

Until that day arrived,
Raging on, the darkness came,
Abusing him,
Pleads for help, rejected,
Ending the catastrophe unsolved.

He cried for justice,
He cried for his mother's tears to halt,
He cried for his father's tyranny to stop,
He cried for his innocence to return,
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

His innocence was too young to die,
Yet he never understood;
No one, understood,
He knew all, but was kept silent,
Again, no one understood.

Havoc kept tormenting him,
Scraping off the joy he's ought to see,
His everything changed,
No one understood,
His solitude, gone.

Years passed, love hit him,
But love too deranged for anyone to understand,
Cowardice enveloped him,
Hiding his afflictions
Towards his afflictor.

Confused, deranged, demented,
He struggles to write these flurries of words,
Stringing a pointless cause,
Echoing in his head,
The truth will never set me free.

He struggled in fifteen years,
And it never ended,
Seeking the truth he desires,
Losing who he was,
Losing who he should be.

He found his empire in words,
He found his art in poetry,
He found his solitude in himself,
But weak still is his heart,
Weak from years of hatred.

He wishes for all to end,
For his love to cry for him,
When he vanishes,
And thee, I feel my heart sinking;
He never bid farewell to Madness.
**** it. This is me.
309 · Jun 2016
Mechanisms in my Head
woolgather Jun 2016
Not under midnight, not over morning,
Under a roof, as it seems to be.
Theoretically flailing words in a keyboard,
Sitting within four concrete walls.
Blotting out nonsense,
On hopes of creating sense.
Laminating ideas in invisible walls,
Thoughts thought to be relevant,
Stapled to nothing, becoming nothing.
Alluring ideas of randomness,
Netting creativity away,
Dancing in no rhythm.
Closed is not my mind,
Or the thoughts that come in,
Gyrating is my head,
Spinning weaves of cluttered madness.
Thoughts I have 4:32 in the morning
309 · Aug 2017
I Don't Know
woolgather Aug 2017
I promised I'll forget,
How you make me feel;
I promised I'll shrug it off,
No matter how it bothered me.
I promised I'll bury the words that I wanted you to hear;
Promised.

Stuck between crossroads;
None I know would lead to where I want.
Denying what seems to be truth,
Lying to myself;
Hurting;
How bad of a liar I am.

Gave it even if I knew,
A losing bet;
A certain uncertainty;
Guilty innocence;
Out of words,
Loud silence.

Still staying,
Even if it's been long due.
I'll reminisce it in the words you once said,
Even if we never talk.
A lost cause,
*To a battle that hasn't even started.
I miss you

Even if I know you don't remember me
307 · May 2016
Slate
woolgather May 2016
Pirouette me in your spinning gazes!
Mold me into whatever you desire!
Make me a senseless being!
Make me an ornament in derangement!

Hold me in your hands:
Shapeless, bleak,
Then play with me, shape and bend me!
You strive to find the perfection that is never in me!

And, when you're unsatisfied,
You leave me to dust!
You forget me in my weakest!
You blame me for your failures!

Why do you keep on chastising me?
I was never perfect, and I never will;
I am also a sensible being as you,
I never was yours to manipulate!

I'd eventually stand for myself,
But for now, I need you.
My head struggles to believe:
Fatal truth, or false promise.

I still leave myself to dust,
I still am an imperfection;
I was never anyone in your life,
And so I am just, nothing, nothing but clay.
My importance for you is feeble, no, irrelevant.
306 · Nov 2016
Rock Bottom
woolgather Nov 2016
Just hit rock bottom
Writer's Block
Irony
Wounds closed; about to reopen
No one understands the plea
Talk to me
Help
Please
302 · Jun 2016
Blank Stare 2
woolgather Jun 2016
The blue sky condemns the pitch-black sadness of isolation and regret,
No salvation can save me from my madness,
No happiness can take me from my sadness.
When the water rides the sea, none is felt but grief.
Lest the bird cannot swim the ocean as he desires,
Only Death can avail to his desires.
Demons deserve no retribution,
As one rotten is not privileged his wish,
In death he is greeted with empty bliss.
Written as the bird in the cage favors the other's
299 · Nov 2017
Dead Slam
woolgather Nov 2017
He has said it over and over
I just want to die
You have told him albeit too much
Time will just pass him by

I guess little do you know
That what he said was true
Not even a miniscule consideration
When he said he didn't know what to do

Then lo and behold, hear ye, hear ye!
He's trying to pull himself out of misery!
He does horrible things to make himself free;
Nothing but a forlorn fallacy!

A fantasy where he exists as but a memory
A scenario where, for once, people would actually care
A time for a short-lived glory
A place where in a sense life plays fair

But where does it land him? Nowhere!
No such conditions exist!
He knows it all too well, too much to bear,
But it was a dream that he couldn't resist.

Blades pirouette his dainty skin,
Medication he ought for a happy pill
Serotonin,
Shy of death and never for the ****.

I guess little do you know
That what he said was true
How it echoes when those words flow
Out of his head it cuts through.

I guess little do you know
How he wanted you to know
How he didn't want you to know
How it hurts him to cease knowing

How he cursed not knowing
How he needed it so badly
That he thought of nothing but forgetting
How he told you everything

Promises
Words
Isolation
It hurts.

He did it once he'll do it again
But the sadness only grows stronger
The light once seen; light now dim
If no one hears his pleas, at least his words cry for him.
It hurts
296 · Sep 2015
It Stung
woolgather Sep 2015
It felt like a million needles poking,
A forest of a thousand trees burning,
Harsh waters rapidly flowing;
A dangerous thought that was quite provoking.

I have never felt a sensation like this
'Twas more of a torture than it was bliss;
A truth running amok and amiss;
The uproar caused by lust's kiss.

As I succumb into its chambers
I stayed below more than above;
It greeted me, though it knew I was a goner:
"Welcome to the prison of love.
295 · May 2016
Cringe
woolgather May 2016
Strum the strings!
Strut the insolence in your words!
Crinkle my patience once more!;
My thoughts cannot hinder yours,
Behold, annoyance!

Hog thine face with your cyclical rhythm!
Tug my attention with your hostile nonsense!
Get me caught up in your storm of noises!
Clack, clack, clack, goes your whining!;
My patience goes dwindling.

Heed not my rant,
I merely ramble my thoughts;
Ramble to seem innocent,
Ramble to seem worthy,
Ramble, to seem alive.

Sailing the sea of words,
I have chosen little to none;
I am exhausted by your recurrence,
None seem similar, yet none different;
Chastity is not enough to rest your cause!
Because apparently, one phrase out of their mouth isn't enough; they'd rather preach their nonexistent crises
294 · Nov 2016
Insensible
woolgather Nov 2016
Being the numb **** I ought to be,
Just like that I crossed the line again;
*Strangers being stranger than where they started.
I'm very very sorry
293 · Aug 2018
Death of a Hypocrite
woolgather Aug 2018
all i can do is write,
words that tell how ugly truth can be,
or so i choose to think;

all i was asking for,
was another soul to see;
but i guess it was otherwise;

now it's clear,
it was never friendship,
but rather obligation;

pity that eats from the inside,
a guilt that never tires;
a guilt that you don't deserve;

it's hopeless praying to the stars:
they might shine even if they're dead,
how would it reach the heavens?

is it my selfish cause,
to ask for one broken to stay,
even if it cries to leave?

is it my cowardice,
to think that there's no way;
but the easy way out?

maybe the angels are deaf,
or better yet, blind;
unless the light shines, it's nonexistent;

how i wish the ground would swallow me,
but i'm guessing,
even the ground would gag on my choices.
I do hope I get killed already
293 · Dec 2015
Shore
woolgather Dec 2015
Wave by wave
Coast by coast
The clear sea dances.
Grace and simplicity
Envelopes the scenery
Of the grim and dark day.

The wind breezes
The smell of sea.
Nostalgia overcame me
Of the fate I suffered:
The fate of a tortured soul
On that grim and dark day.

A voice soon whispers
To my endless whimpers
The skies cried for me;
I failed to bare
I stepped on no ground
On that grim and dark day.

Cold waters embraced me
Gloominess surrounds me
What am I to oversee?
Out of sans
They tried to cage me
On that grim and dark day.

I open my eyes
There I am, back again
On the grim and dark day.
Grace and simplicity
Overcomes this treachery
As tears stream down my face.
Feel free to interpret it however you like.
292 · Jun 2018
Is To Err Human?
woolgather Jun 2018
I've always been lost:
In my thoughts, in actions;
So it seems, a wanderer I've been.

I've strayed no matter what be the cost,
No matter what I face, endless prosecutions;
More than meets the eye, I've seen.

A conflagration in frost,
Nothing more than a raging vexation,
Of the extreme, nowhere in between;

The words I've used, I've disgraced,
Of no form, of no beauty,
Such of that my carelessness;

Such of the wrist vandalised, razed;
As for the love turned pity;
Such for resolves, spineless;

As of the words, played,
As the truth grow vague yet dainty;
This is to the reality I digress.
I told you I can't write right.
291 · Apr 2016
Tragic
woolgather Apr 2016
I write again;
Writing, my blues,
Writing, my bleeding heart;
Writing, my bleeding faith.

I once was like everyone else,
A believer, an optimist;
Then, it hit me, it consumed me:
The truths and the reality.

Now I rot, my mind staring, blank;
My visions, shrouded with darkness.
My everything, painted pitch-black,
My humaneness, destroyed.
A tragedy that did, or did not, happen.
290 · Aug 2015
Between The Lines
woolgather Aug 2015
Nobody tries to understand me
Believing that my smile's just worth happiness
My guilty haven, dark and gloomy
They can't see beyond the border, my sadness

A soul that's too weak to fight
The person who just lets what he wants disappear into thin air
A sentence that can't be fixed by however or despite
The person who never felt the true meaning of "fair."

In this never-ending spiral of sin and judgement
Where am I to be placed?
A soul meant to live with torment
Can I never be erased?

Life may be real, life may be earnest
But for me, it never was;
"Death is rightful for me to behest"
Let my silver, turn to rust.
286 · Sep 2017
I Fear
woolgather Sep 2017
I fear
That no one would know;
When I'll die and lay down;
They'd just let go

I fear
That when I stop caring
That's when you'll start;
I know how hard it is hurting

I fear
When my tears would stop
Yours will start flowing;
Then momentum would suddenly drop

I fear
When I stop feeling
Is when you'll give yours;
Senseless dying

I fear
When I start speaking
Truth I try to keep;
You'll start leaving

I fear
My heart split,
Love detested;
A thousand slits.

I fear
Wounds felt;
Blood spilled;
Damage dealt

I fear
Scars that may be seen;
Say words that sting more;
Even to eyes never keen

I fear
That you'll never see this

I fear
That you'll never notice

I fear
That you don't know how much I want you to be the one to save me;
How selfish.

I fear
How much I fear
How much it hurts
How much it ravages;

I fear
I'll never stop fearing;
Without anyone knowing,
*How much I need saving
Asthma and depression and heartbreak really are a good mix huh
285 · Sep 2017
√ Seen
woolgather Sep 2017
I wish you'd say something;

I wish you'd say the words I'm dying to hear,

I wish we'd talk like we used to,

But we won't.

The more I try to push it,

All the more that I'll destroy it;

A friendship.

I don't even know if I mean anything at all to you.

I wish I do.

But that's a request near to never.

...we haven't even spoken yet.

Here's to hoping it won't **** me deep inside;

"...hey"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*"√"
I should stop

But I can't bring myself to

I know I'm waiting for a lost cause

I know I'm foolish

I'm sorry
284 · May 2016
Untitled
woolgather May 2016
Hush hush, my dear.
The ravens have flocked.
The wolves howled your agony.
Your grievance is comforted.
Agony is no more.
For now.

These words I have written,
Over my restless mind, in an incandescent midnight,
Mundane, it seemed:
Scribbling figures I have seen in my sleep,
Staying for days inside my head,
Staying forever inside my heart.

I saw Darkness embrace me,
Calming, yet haunting at the same time;
Not once have I ever seen him like that,
He didn't look like a terrifying past,
Nor did he look like a havoc in my future;
He looked like a frail lover.

I orchestrate these words in my wake,
My mind recites chastity:
Too severe to put in words;
None say the same,
Yet all are torture like one another*,
Yet all are true like one another.

None seem adamant to be my savior,
None seem illuminated to be an answer;
I rot in my head, I barely hold myself together,
I gushed all but blood;
I shouted all but words;
I held all but, hope.
I can't help myself anymore. I'm a victim, so it seems.
I want help but I don't know how.
283 · Jul 2016
Dwindle
woolgather Jul 2016
Calamity is brought to my attention,
Operate the mechanism of damnation,
None of truths will be salvation,
Forget my existence; my heart into portions;
Ease the damage of deadly deterioration
Shroud deed to words of fine selection;
Screaming T-O-O L-A-T-E — too loud for abbreviation.
The race keeps going on even if you know you lost
283 · Jan 2018
Coward's Love Story
woolgather Jan 2018
I want to tell you,
You matter to me so badly;
But I fear if you knew
You'd just turn away.

I want to show you,
How you make me so happy;
But I fear if you saw,
You'd think of me differently.

I want to hold your hand
For at least once;
Hug you so tightly
For even just a few moments;

But I know if it happens
Or if you just knew,
The World would paint me differently;
You'd get further away from me.

That's why I'll be okay,
Loving you from a distance;
Seeing each other
But never to stay;

Remembering those moments,
Of words without sense;
Meant none but meaningful;
Everything, you are to me.

Then again, stars never align
For wishes bound by will;
The world screams otherwise
For this Coward's love I feel.
The closest I can tell you I love you is through ****** poems

I know if I ever try you'll just cast me

I really wish you could read this but you won't

Cut this guy some slack
282 · Jan 2017
Never Not
woolgather Jan 2017
Scribble those double negatives;
Bust those songs on repeat;
Wish for something new to happen
While doing the same things over and over again.
Expect a new ending
To the same scenarios
Let's test how long Sanity could last.
Could've made more sense with these words,
But still ended up a random mess.
Haven't been like this before,
Nor would I want to be in the future,
But Fate said "**** it" and this angst came out of me.
Quite a handful, yet still easy to pass.
Like my existence.
Like my choices.
Like my feelings.
Like everything I am;
A disappointment.
Hate to admit it, to say the least;
Maybe this geezer needs those motivational posters
But I highly agree he'll just rip it to shreds or burn it.
*After all, He's never not been himself.
I'm sorry if I use poetry as an evidence of my spiral into madness
282 · Jul 2017
Placeholder
woolgather Jul 2017
You were there,

When I tried to strip an angel off its wings;

As its feathers fall one by one,

You vehemently pulled me away.

You knew how I never knew what I was doing,

You knew how lost I am in this fight,

You knew how much I wanted to just lay down and wait for my time;

Yet you pulled me away,

Even if no one asked you to;

You pulled me away;

And in your arms as I was about to collapse, you whisper:

It's okay.

You were there,

As I was putting back the wings;

Not the best but I tried my best.

*You held me.
280 · Aug 2016
Wish (I'd Wish)
woolgather Aug 2016
It's nice you have your friends;
It's nice everyone's got your back.
It's nice people think you're kind.
It's nice you're part of the team.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*Too bad I can never be that person
It's real
279 · Jul 2016
Blue Hearted-Buffoon
woolgather Jul 2016
I once admired a person,
So much I wanted me to change;
So much I wanted to destroy who I am,
Just to be somewhat compatible.

Then I thought:

My head's more messed up thinking about escaping,
Than being messed up thinking about you being mine.

So I had nothing to lose and gain;

*I returned to tightening the noose of reality to love.
Hurt me baby
278 · Oct 2017
Whiplashed
woolgather Oct 2017
A desolate
Wishing for solace
In a rose-colored world
Spells nothing but disaster;
An ecstasy that pains more than it pleasures;

A broken soul
Too used to pain;
Such as one can see the answer,
Yet not how to claim it;
A painstaking assurance.

If it weren't for these demons,
I would've lived another life;
If it weren't for their voices,
I would've just died.
If it wasn't for them bugging me.

I might not remember what I say,
I may not know of what I would tell;
Maybe my demons would take over me,
By force, if they'd want it be.*
Pray tell what mishap I'll make you do.
I ****** up so bad

I may or may not regret it though

Swear me to secrecy
276 · Jun 2016
Blooming Stench
woolgather Jun 2016
I'd see them laugh, I cry.
They'd see me happy, they'd despise.
Suffocate the truth with your lies.
Deafen with your murmurs my cries.
You'd say we're all equal,
You'd say we're all fair,
Yet I can see the horns in your halo.
With one is privilege,
To the other is plummeting demotions,
I seem to end up lying down in the ground.
Try and say your **** one more time,
**I'd not be dumbfounded with your flowering words.
It seems I am no better than a filthy rug to step on
273 · Mar 2017
Note to Self
woolgather Mar 2017
I'm not certain how to write anymore
since I woke up,
That us isn't real
And so I'll slumber to ****** every night
272 · Jul 2017
Sympathy
woolgather Jul 2017
Alas, he gave it his all,

Yet nothing moved;

Nothing changed,

Nothing for the better

As it eats him whole;

As he sees those he care about

turn their heads away;

Something moved;

Something changed,

Something he never thought he would feel;

Left out,

Spaced out;

Their sympathies turned inside-out.
sloppy
272 · Dec 2016
Deprive I
woolgather Dec 2016
I still get dumb when it's about you;
When they talk about you and I,
And those things that can never happen to us.
I still yearn to have those moments,
Moments that we'd have only to the both of us;
Yet the only time we'll see each other in the eye,
*Is when you're about to leave me.
The mind flutters around the heart
272 · Jul 2017
Burying
woolgather Jul 2017
I'll bury it,
How I scream so loud
That the earth would just swallow me whole
If it would mean my words would somehow touch yours;

I'll bury it,
How I long for the ravens to eat my carcass
As I wait for you to even just whisper my name,
And regard it as cathartic love;

I'll bury it,
How I write with withering flowers
And rotting souls
And tell you I write with the morning blossom;

I'll bury it,
The broken **** I am,
And fill your fields with dew;
If that's what it would take—

For you to see.
How much I write around your letters;

For you to notice.
How you make me high when you're high,
And low when you're low;

For you to know.
How hard it is for me to see you uneasy.

I'll change.

*Even if your words go to another
268 · Sep 2018
For I am
woolgather Sep 2018
A coward;
A weakling,
Unable to stand on his own,
A sorry mess of a poet,
With nothing but lies
To tell and feel;
A scapegoat,
Without a soul to lean on,
One that confides solitude
In the few people he cares about,
And that leaves him about;
A restless ******,
Without strength to be alone
And an eye for uncertainty;
Yet he hurts by himself
And hurts himself,
Yet he says he's fine
With a smile close to crying,
Yet he speaks not to others
And not even to himself
What he feels;
He still stands
But he thinks not for long,
Not for long
Until he tries again.
And fails;
A defect,
Useless and better off dead
it's getting too much of me
no matter how much I scream for you to save me
you don't hear it
the world may have eyes
but never, will.
267 · Apr 2016
Paper
woolgather Apr 2016
Pick me up and rip me apart!*
Tear me to shreds;
Vandal me with your ideas,
Burn me in the pyre of your "
Perfection",
Witness, as I turn my pitied self
Into ashes of whom was once whole.

You wrap me up with everything;
You fold me,*
Creases running along my body.
You stud me with colors,
One more marvellous than the other;
But none so grand.

You waste me;
Crumple me up and throw me in the streets;
You torture me;
Writing scars with your indelible ink;
You chastise me;
Criticizing every inch of me.

But why would I digress?
I'm just a feeble object,
I mean nothing to you;
Don't be surprised if much has changed,
Dear, I really didn't,
You just saw the monstrosity you made of me.
Well.
267 · Jun 2016
Clock
woolgather Jun 2016
Time's against me, it seems,
Ill would be my future.
Chasing after an unseen oracle,
Knowing all abides this law.

Time's a two-faced man,
Obfuscating yet illuminating.
Chasing day after day,
Knowledge can do none to stop him.
Time
266 · Jul 2017
Pulley
woolgather Jul 2017
I'm just talking to my own echo;

Too scared to tell the truth

Too tired to fight for myself

I guess no one could fix me;

As if this curse wasn't enough,

I fall down rock bottom

Yet I can still see all of you.

How your lights shine the brightest;

I envy.

How you can see the light of the stars,

And not the pitch-black darkness

Of the night sky,

I guess I am but an opposite;

You get lifted up,

I get pulled back down.
**** myself
266 · Feb 2018
Composure
woolgather Feb 2018
I'm sorry:
To the words I don't give justice to;
To the words painted meaningful

*But end up lackluster.
Not meant to appease anything or anyone
woolgather Aug 2017
The monster hidden under my bed chose to lay beside me,

Wearing the face of a man I knew,

Revealing the truth of a sweet dreama bitter nightmare;

Violated.

Dirtied.

Disgusted.

Unfa­thomable,

To be done by someone whom I'd thought can never do such things.

I will grieve,

I will falter;

But I will not let it eat me.

I shall be the rose both of the beauty and the danger;

I will stand and fight with the power I ought to have;

I will vanquish that very monster:

Without fear,

Without hesitation.

I vow to never let it consume me;

**I am a warrior and I shall forever be!
I just had to write something
I'm sorry if it's the only thing I can do

Original: https://themisadventuresofher.wordpress.com/2017/08/05/monster-dont-hide-under-your-bed/
263 · Dec 2016
Cackle
woolgather Dec 2016
Her move's more than suspicious;
Did she wear those short-*** shorts again?
What is it? She going to another home or something?
Why don't you say those **** to her yourself?
I ain't a conduit for your complaints,
I ain't an ear to hear your whining.
If you want to know the truth that badly,
Then why do you make the effort to spread the poison,
Instead of giving it to the victim?
You have the uncanny strength of superstition,
Hat's off to you, good sir,
Unfortunately I think it would be,
I'd **** myself by jumping from your pride to your knowledge;
*Very steep and suicidal.
An excerpt from casual talk from my father

What a good man
woolgather Apr 2018
And so I might've said
Goodbye a million times,

And so I might've sighed
And given up more than once.

And so I might've typed a lot,
Words that tell the truth,

None seen correctly
Always the spur of youth.

And so I might've said I'm done.
And so I might've lied.

And so I might've said I'm fine
Then cried a million times.

But I'm still here.
And I still ache.

And I still say so.
And I'm sorry.

And I can't put off
The urge to end

Because it's a part of me
That never makes me pretend

That even if I want others to live
I don't want to fend

And so I can't put off
The urge to end.

And so I say I'm sorry
Without an end
I don't even know where my mind has gone off to
261 · Aug 2017
...!...?...
woolgather Aug 2017
A little accident.

Dumb, not grave.

Small talks.

Turning into something more.

What to you was seemingly random,

To me was treasure.

You were there when no one else dared to stay.

Yet you never knew that.

Out of small talks,

I spilled truth.

I made myself a burden.

I made you worry,

I'm sorry.

I ponder if it was wrong for me;

Wrong to even speak to you so openly.

You said it was fine,

Even though I know I take much of your time;

Though I thank you;

Letting some of the bottled grief get out of me.

But we don't even talk anymore.

But even if we do;

*You don't have to lie anymore
I don't know what to make up of this

I know I've been nothing but a burden

I hope you could read this but the world would say otherwise

You're so close yet I feel so far
260 · Jun 2017
Tethered Wish (Dump #6)
woolgather Jun 2017
I will hide my voice
At least until the sun ceases to rise,
I will hide my voice
At least until they leave;
I will my my truth
At least until they cease believing;
I'll just hide my voice 'til then
That the world's frail and already collapsing.

As I write a thousand words
A thousand wounds come with it;
As I spill a thousand tears
Burning hatred come dry it;
My demons would otherwise claim me
But I won't let them take my sanity;
They'd ooze out of me unexpectedly,
But all that's left would be my insanity.

Broken heart, broken memories;
Things I long for but cannot be given;
As I see you happy without me;
As I feel your blades thrash my very core;
I'll lay still.
Still as I hide my voice:
Frail and useless,
*Pleading—
6/16/17

I guess a useless journal

Now slightly rhythmical
259 · May 2016
Thoughts In Time
woolgather May 2016
Time is a chain:
Adamant, yet manipulable,

Cruel, yet giving,
Too long, yet too short.

Time is a blank slate,
Yet, it is also filled.

Time gives freedom,
Yet time is restricting.

Time can be endless,
Time can be limited.

Time is a spectator,
Time is an audience.

Time is for you to spend,
Yet time will seek its due.

Time can be seen in different contexts,
Yet time is an unseen figure.

We own time,
Time owns the world.
I really need to organize my thoughts better next time
woolgather Dec 2016
Drowning myself in the voices of others;
Fighting a battle I shouldn't be giving a **** about;
Feeling defeated over words,
Sharper than any sword you'll sharpen;
In my venomous words,
I hide my cowardice.
Yes,
I want to make it stop,
Yes,
I want to give up,
Yes,
I want to end everything,
But everything's relying on this one mistake.
No matter how many words I'd jot down,
It won't go away.
No matter how much I try to chain it down,
It'll just come back more vicious than before.
It goes to show what you try to hide under the light,
Would be complete hell when you let it loose.
It's all a daze
Maybe one day I'll find a way to drown everything I feel
258 · Nov 2016
Broken Not
woolgather Nov 2016
Been hurt too much it doesn't feel like anything.
Been played with without knowing and ended up broken.
What a pity it was;
His heart did as worse as his dainty mind.
Same old, same old,
Staring blankly at the screen;
Should be doing something no one really knows,
Bawling my heart out;
Bawling without tears flowing.
Tinker with the darkness that's sleeping,
Fill your head with unfamiliarity,
Once a man's mind snaps;
You better run away from it.
From writing pieces,
Back to scribbling random words.
Been there, done that.
Been hurting over and over,
Been hurting but never learning.
Haven't learned anything;
Feels nothing but yearning;
Yearning for love never reciprocated.
Been crying though it sounds fake,
Been loving though it sounds uncanny.
The chills never left me;
*The cycle never ends.
Too broken
257 · Apr 2018
Not Art; Rant.
woolgather Apr 2018
I wish you could know how much I regret who I became.
Not because I'm fazed by the good sides; it's for what I want:
I want to belong.
Not a very warm thing to say but, it's what's been missing. I think.
I wish I can drown what I should've.
I wish I can be someone's best friend.
I wish I had someone to openly talk about everything.
I wish I had the heart to say no.
I wish I had courage to tell everything I feel.
Not like this.
I wish I wasn't this ******* weak.
I wish I fought when I wasn't able to.
I wish I can stop hurting myself.
I wish someone was here for me.

And although there may be people like that,
I wish I'd feel they're here.

I wish I can be okay.
But I'm not.
And I've learned I never will be.
But knowing is different from accepting.
I'm sorry for being who I am
woolgather Jun 2016
You'd think those words don't matter
You'd say I'd never falter
You'd say I'd be fine
After a mouthful of painful lines
You'd thought I'd stand unscathed
You'd thought my head won't spin around
You'd think nothing would matter to me
Rollcall: you'd better know it'd be
I'd be silenced by judgements one after the other
I'd be pushed to my edge so you'd see me fail
You'd say that it would not come to me
But honey it already did
And it's already staining me
And it's already plaguing me
And it's already killing me
Read my **** I dare you
Ask me why'd there's no end to my sentences
Cause that'd be what you do
Cyclical and pointless
Talk your ****, honey
The only **** you'd get is from my ***
255 · Sep 2017
Dim-Lit
woolgather Sep 2017
12:27.

A **** holy time when my mind shouldn't be thinking of such things;

Yet here I am,

Frail and desolate.

An uneasy heart and a volatile head;

I could just explode.

I could just cease.

I, I could just—

Never mind.

Never mind not knowing.

Never mind not being here for me.

You,you couldn't listen anyways.

At least you'd keep me company.

Just like a room dim lit.
I don't know if I spew out real words

But

I still miss you

Even if you remember me as a last resort
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