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282 · Jul 2017
Idol
woolgather Jul 2017
You astound me

For the words you speak turn into a masterpiece

You fill me with awe

As you pirouette your pen and out come your thoughts

You ignite the sleeping soul I try to oppress

And leave me breathless with just your statements

I've longed for someone like you.

Some say you lack finesse

I say they lack good taste

As everything you write stay true to me;






**Or maybe just for me
Scrap 1
281 · Sep 2017
Dim-Lit
woolgather Sep 2017
12:27.

A **** holy time when my mind shouldn't be thinking of such things;

Yet here I am,

Frail and desolate.

An uneasy heart and a volatile head;

I could just explode.

I could just cease.

I, I could just—

Never mind.

Never mind not knowing.

Never mind not being here for me.

You,you couldn't listen anyways.

At least you'd keep me company.

Just like a room dim lit.
I don't know if I spew out real words

But

I still miss you

Even if you remember me as a last resort
woolgather Dec 2016
Drowning myself in the voices of others;
Fighting a battle I shouldn't be giving a **** about;
Feeling defeated over words,
Sharper than any sword you'll sharpen;
In my venomous words,
I hide my cowardice.
Yes,
I want to make it stop,
Yes,
I want to give up,
Yes,
I want to end everything,
But everything's relying on this one mistake.
No matter how many words I'd jot down,
It won't go away.
No matter how much I try to chain it down,
It'll just come back more vicious than before.
It goes to show what you try to hide under the light,
Would be complete hell when you let it loose.
It's all a daze
Maybe one day I'll find a way to drown everything I feel
279 · May 2016
Thoughts In Time
woolgather May 2016
Time is a chain:
Adamant, yet manipulable,

Cruel, yet giving,
Too long, yet too short.

Time is a blank slate,
Yet, it is also filled.

Time gives freedom,
Yet time is restricting.

Time can be endless,
Time can be limited.

Time is a spectator,
Time is an audience.

Time is for you to spend,
Yet time will seek its due.

Time can be seen in different contexts,
Yet time is an unseen figure.

We own time,
Time owns the world.
I really need to organize my thoughts better next time
278 · Aug 2016
Keep it Down
woolgather Aug 2016
Once was a baby that bawled his eyes out
Shush - keep it down!
Once was a boy teased so much he wanted to die
Shush - keep it down!
Once was a boy tied down by his brethren for being who he wanted
Shush - keep it down!
Once was a boy who screamed at the top of his lungs;
"I want to be free!"
Shush! - keep it down!

Once that boy grew stronger
We don't care - just keep it down!
That boy grew wings and flew his highest
We don't care - just keep it down!
Once that boy walked the path they wanted him to
We don't care - just keep it down!
That boy wrote his pain down black ink;
He sung words that just came from his mind
We don't care - just keep it down!

Once that boy grew tired of trying
So what? - keep it down!
That boy always found himself crying
So what? - keep it down!
Once that boy saw his heart breaking;
With it, his world shattering
So what? - keep it down!
That boy found himself dying
So what? - keep it down!

Not long after, a casket was borne
Wait, what happened to him?
His face covered, his body crippled
Oh my, how terrible!
People grieved his absence;
Absence that would last eternally
From a distance he whispered to them:

























































­
































































­










































*Keep it down!
Worms will come when you rot
274 · Oct 2017
Ambiguity #1
woolgather Oct 2017
I ponder
If you knew how much you meant;
I wonder
If you know how many tears I spent;

I know
It's a dumb thing, so feeble;
A stow,
Of feelings so much but none evil;

It's hard,
Trying to make sense of a love so brittle;
It's awkward,
We talked so much yet so little;

Wait, I forgot,
I'm the only one who knows it;
That's why it's all for naught,
Because you will never feel it;

Love,
Love that shouldn't be here;
Love,
Love that I fear;

Love,
Love that I just keep in store;
Love,
Love that could never be more.

If you see these words,
You'll just flow astray;
If you see my words,
*I know you'll go away.
I'd like to keep it this way

It hurts but it's the only safe choice

I'm sorry
272 · Aug 2016
A Living Eulogy
woolgather Aug 2016
Fire erupts from the dark abyss,
Scorching frost felt head to toe;
Visions blur, joy subsides
as the paper boat is thrashed by harsh sea.

The sun never shone anymore;
Life is black and none but rain pour;
I stumble down to see me crying,
I see me bleed, I see me dying.

Beasts of one fur tread together,
A prey always suffers the fate too cyclical;
The prey is prey as fate says so:
A cruel mother yet nor so catastrophic.

Heed me, Oh! O kindest Death;
Take me under your *****!
Let me Live my paradise of sorrow!
Rid me from this hell of reality!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and yet,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I know you will never hear my cries,
I know you'll never need me;
I'm nothing but a drop of water
On the sea that let loose of damnation.

Fire erupts from the dark abyss;
And I know I've felt it before;
But I can't do anything to **** it:
The sea that let loose of me.
Walk the path of life dead, O naive entity
270 · Dec 2016
Deprive II
woolgather Dec 2016
What a fool's work it is,
To obsess over love never found.
Love that's in front of your very eyes,
But is not given time to be acknowledged.
I wish I could change that;
I wish we could change that...
*Would you like to?
As the fluttering mind strikes the flames, it burns its wings
267 · Jul 2016
Late
woolgather Jul 2016
I saw you standing,
I always saw you smiling;
I never thought you'd be the one
That I would see be hurting,
I know you talk so much,
I know you'd be a wisdom,
I never thought you'd be the one
That would be much over nothing;

Silly boy,
Why have you been fighting yourself?
Silly boy,
Why had you been telling no one?
I know you'll never be perfect,
And no one will ever be,
Silly boy,
I wish I could help you,
But the damage has been dealt.

I'd see you again, like any other day,
You'd say that you're fine.
But I see through your transparent lies,
Your two-way mirror eyes;
Your cut's been bleeding,
Your arms' been bruising,
Your sadness you've been hiding,
I can't stand to see you dying.

Silly boy,
Why have you been fighting yourself?
Silly boy,
Why had you been telling no one?
I know you'll never be perfect,
And no one will ever be,
Silly boy,
I wish I could help you,
But the damage has been dealt.

Oh, your head's been spinning,
You've thought you've seen the last
Oh, your wall's been collapsing,
You took the breath that was your last.

Silly boy,
Now that you've been defeated,
Silly boy,
Now we know it's not all on your head
Instead of love that should be coming,
It was blood that poured out, bleeding,
Silly boy,
I wish I could save you,
But the damage has been dealt.

Silly boy,
Why have you been fighting yourself?
Silly boy,
Why had you been telling no one?
I know you'll never be perfect,
And no one will ever be,
Silly boy,
I wish I could help you,
But the damage has been dealt.

I wish I'd been there for you,
**But the damage has been dealt
I don't know it's supposed to be a song about __________________
264 · May 2016
Shouting Whispers
woolgather May 2016
Not gleeful, nor gloomy,
Not pestered, or privileged;
Mediocrity lying in consciousness,
Mediocrity lying within extremity,
Mediocrity in unparalleled intensity,
Mediocrity in places it should never be.

Give me an ocean of memories;
Both of the plotted horror and delights;
Give me the anchor of a nightmare,
And you'll see me as how you want to:
Eaten by my own inhibitions,
Succumbing into distortion.

Dancing with my shadows ain't that easy;
Especially if they have a mind of their own.
Put me in a room with my reflections:
You'll see how many we are in this head.
I may be one man, I may be one mouth,
But the real madness isn't one monstrosity.

I'm surprised how they hold on to me,
Considering they broke me already.
Hey, maybe that's their real plan.
Be thankful when I don't get your attention;
It's better they all jabber at once,
Than be silent, cold and secretive.

They battle in my thoughts,
They would make my head explode,
Yet here I am, still in one piece.
I may make no sense:
It's fine, I don't try to be.
At least these hogs know how to entertain me.
The roulette of madness come in many different forms.
264 · May 2016
Hurt
woolgather May 2016
Walking through the same pavements everyday,
Walking down through memory lane,
Struggling to keep my pace in the present,
Struggling to forget the anchors of the past.

Tracking back isn't as beautiful as you think,
Mine tends to be tragic.
You try to reminisce those savory memories,
Like browsing reads at a bookstore.

'Twas my grave mistake, whenever I try,
Anguish always presents,
Though I try my hardest to bring back what once was,
It has been impossible; I bottled up my old self.

Acquaintances come one after the other,
Yet, I still feel isolated;
None know me as I know myself:
Twisted, deranged, elusive, terrible.

I can write on and on, endlessly;
The darkness within me is immortal as well,
I try not to beg for anyone to notice;
Though I tire myself finding an answer.

For now, this is me.
Different from what they know me to be.
I'd rather be a perpetrator than a victim,
But looking, it would always be the other way around.
Can't I be real to anyone? It seems the doors are always closed.
263 · Jul 2020
rue
woolgather Jul 2020
rue
the walls have heard:
things you haven't,
the scars tell
more than you could ever speak.
the bruises know
more than you could ever muster;
how i cried without tears
and screamed without a voice.
i kind of regret that i found poetry to rid myself of emotional baggage; i wish i found it when i was at a happier place.

i'm kind of losing how i write, and at this point i don't know if there is anywhere else i could return to.

and it scares me.
262 · Jun 2017
Dump #3
woolgather Jun 2017
06/07/17

Once more I am in nowhere;
Surrounded by people who know nothing;
Nothing of the grief I hold;
As I stagnate in the standstill of my time,
Revolving are the worlds around me.
The black sheep begs the wolf to eat him;
But even the predators elude him.
Such a sullen fate;
Yet the black sheep is grateful;
**As he says his last goodbyes.
I guess a useless journal

Now more senseless than ever
262 · Jun 2016
Away
woolgather Jun 2016
What a naive boy;
Born not of royalty,
Born not of peasantry.
Standing in a podium of censures,
In front of a thousand "acquaintances".
Too scared to say something wrong;
Too scared to move by his will.
He is bent by what they want him to be;
Restricted to become a cyclical mind.
Yet, he rebels their laws,
He became secretive.
He hides under the cloak of a dead man.
He sees the world black and white.
He becomes dead.
Yet, one becomes a catalyst;
Making his heart beat lively;
Making his stomach filled with butterflies;
Making his head flutter with thoughts.
He'd wish that one understand,
Yet so close, yet very distant.
He was too weak to speak his heart;
The catalyst favored another.
He is lost.
He is dying once more.
His heart loses rhythm.
His stomach churns.
His eyes dim and close.



In his dreams, he sees,
He dances,
With the catalyst.















**Too bad he's too weak.
Too weak to fight, too strong to yield
261 · Apr 2018
pointless
woolgather Apr 2018
In the sea I dived in,
I feel so little;
Compared to the other fish,
Grand, and loved:
I stand in a position far from them.
The currents wash me out;
I swim a death wish.
I mistook the ocean for a sea.
260 · Sep 2017
• Active Now
woolgather Sep 2017
I know we've never talked in person;
Dumb, right?
Though once we open the chatbox
We'll talk like long met acquaintances

I know I've said a lot of spontaneous ****,
You'll patch them up with yours;
The moment you typed those random words
It instantly meant something to me

I told you when I wanted to die.
I told you that would be the last.
Yet you peered through me,
Saved me from something I thought I wanted.

It ought to be awkward;
A way I can't fathom,
Yet you talk like nothing's changed;
Comfort I needed.

We talked boring days and sleepless nights,
We talked shows and music,
We talked about lives,
We talked about us.

"Hey"
"Eyyyyy"
"Thanks for keeping up with my ****"
"It's cool I talk about random **** too"

"Hey"
"What's up?"
"I hope I'm not botheting you"
"Hey, it's okay"

"Hello"
..."hey"
"gotta go"
"wait, I—"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*Never mind
I'm too scared to say it in person

Let alone in chat

I know it cannot happen
258 · Nov 2017
Everyone
woolgather Nov 2017
Everyone expects a clear explanation
Just cause they don't see the scars
Nor the pain that burns in my throat
Or how bitter everything tastes in my mouth

Everyone thinks I make it up
Just cause I can stand
I wish I could just lay down and give up
But I won't, because you still won't believe.

Everyone thinks I am a liar
But if I drank the whole bottle
How would you feel?
If I fell limp and lifeless?

Everyone says my words are empty
Just cause they can't carry the weights
Why pretend to care?
What gain will you have from it?

Everyone says I'm wrong.
But none of them know I know.
Everyone wants to knock some sense into me.
But none of them know I have more of it than them.

Everyone thinks of me differently now
Everyone thinks of me, deranged;
Everyone thinks so since I continue to live;
I wonder if I grew languid.

Everyone has their words to say.
Everyone has their censures to tell.
How cowardly of me to hide in these words,
Without a voice, without a resolve.

I wonder if you knew what burden I bear
I wonder if you felt how ugly is the ugly
I wonder if you felt sympathy without a hidden agenda
I wonder if I—
Everyone please pretend I'm okay.

Don't bombard me

I'm a mess

I know

Don't rub it in my face
257 · May 2016
Stale
woolgather May 2016
It is rather difficult,
Spewing words, trying to make sense.
I cannot find the rhythm to suit me,
Yet, they flow out of my mind,
They appear in my paper.
I see happiness all around me,
Yet I cannot find;
I see the gleaming in their eyes,
Yet I cannot compare mine to theirs;
I am dull,
I am one borne from darkness.
An outrageous statement, indeed;
But from the damage I have dealt to myself,
There's no other way to put it.
I find their joys as they see their faces,
None of them see my torture behind these smiles.
My solitude is pitch-black,
My sadness is joy.
I am haunted by the thought of happiness,
I am comforted by my pleas.
I want help,
I don't reach out.
I leave my resolves unfinished,
Enough to hear infinite censures.
They cannot understand,
The chastity I have found within me;
Because of them;
I hate to see the joy in them,
They make me feel left out and envious,
Yet, I cannot do anything,
I know that joy is within me,
It's just hidden in a deep chasm in my heart,
Too deep I cannot even reach it.
No matter how many tears stream down my face,
No matter how much I cheer up,
I can't erase the sadness in my heart and mind.
I am not a victim,
I chose to be this way,
Don't blame me if my spectrum's not your forte,
No one asked you to understand me;
I am a nobody,
Even in my own life;
I am the one borne from darkness.
I'm crying
257 · Jun 2016
Still,
woolgather Jun 2016
I'd rather see a thousand suns setting,
Loving you seems to be pleasure and torture.
Of course, you'd never understand,
Vast is my heart, yet you are the only thing it has.
Every tear that falls from my eyes, because of love,
You are the cause.
Open your heart, for once;
Undone will always be my confession of love.
Read between my lines, my insignificant love
256 · Jan 2017
Diffuse
woolgather Jan 2017
Divided attention,
An ultimate disgrace.
Thoughts flying free,
Albeit a fluctuating pace.
Random in the happenstance,
Then you in another place;
Haven't been myself, in this silly case.
Before, I have loved you.
And still though to this day.
Yet I feel different when you're around me;
I haven't known what it made me say.
I feel so far when you're not here,
But now I feel farther when you're near.
My heart hasn't changed its beat about you,
But why would my head not think of what my heart can do?
I know this is senseless,
It's a waste of your time.
Before, I wanted you to read my words,
Now I hide from you, thoughts sublime.
It may be a stretch, but I hope it'll come through:
*I lost hope unlike before how I felt for you.
And it ends (not really)
255 · Dec 2016
Fluke
woolgather Dec 2016
The only thing I can do if I'm broken,
Is to write ****** poetry
If not help others overcome their ****
*What a ******* Drama King, right?!
This isn't even poetry
254 · Nov 2016
Vertical
woolgather Nov 2016
Unhinge the skin,
Negate the senses;
Cut out that grin;
Open your ears to the voices;
Make your pain akin,
Flood your mind with hearsays;
Oscillating, your head'll spin,
Ringing sounds'll follow you in all places;
Trapped without reasoning; discipline;
Apprehended by the past's corpses;
Blazing are the chances that's bore thin;
Losing all comprehensible choices;
Ending fouler than sheepskin.

Immobile are they, but still widespread like disease;
Nothing but the demons that play deaf to your pleas.

Close the doors that were open;
Open the doors once closed.
Mend the pieces once broken;
Find yourself occupied, yet bored.
Overcome the path of the demon once risen;
Reveal what truth there is discord.
Taper the pain with pun.
Unfinished business not looking forward to finish
250 · Jan 2018
Interstellarly Bland
woolgather Jan 2018
You are a star:
Shining bright in the darkness;

You are a star:
Your brilliance astounds me;

You are a star:
In this pitch-black room, you light me up;

You are a star:
*Out of my reach.
I bet you'd hate that I used a star as your meraphor

But you wouldn't know that. You would never.

Sorry I just had to get it out.
248 · Jul 2016
Feathers
woolgather Jul 2016
I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
So I could soar the world swiftly,
I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
So I can see all, even far from what I see.

I'd soar up high beyond the skies,
I would take you with me;
I'd lay upon the cotton clouds;
As we'd talk and ponder dearly.

I'd wish I had a heart of gold,
To be right for that heart of yours.
I'd wish I'd had a heart of gold,
So I'd not see the worldly horrors.



















But Cloud 9 suddenly crumbled apart;
Taking us with it,
We'd be saved alive, but distant;
Conjuring nothing sane but explicit.



















You've changed all that much;
I'm not sure if it's for good.
I saw you change but happier,
I guess I'd let not myself protrude.

The sky grew suddenly darker,
Blue turns to ashes;
I'd be changed by our memories,
Oh wait — your deceit.

I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
Now I know it'll never come;
To see all, feel all, know all,
Even what I thought we would inevitably be.

I'd wish I had a golden heart,
Even though mine's always been rotten,
I'd be happy, though I'd never soar,
*Watching you fly with another angel.
Flap
Pluck
Fall
246 · Nov 2016
Point V
woolgather Nov 2016
The boy who lost his voice,
The entity that camouflages in glamour,
The man who lives in vincible ignorance
The one who stood when all was shattered;
*No one would really know.
245 · Oct 2016
Words; Revolt
woolgather Oct 2016
Deafen the path with birds of song;
Confuse them of the road they'd ought to take;
White noise fills the barren room;
Pirouette in the dark halls;
Make the world yours in an instant;
Walk upon the forsaken way;
Trample your psyche with all odds;
Empty the casket with song;
Recite your mantras,
Drink your fill,
Fog thine images with deceit;

Hide the sadness with forced laughter.

Fog thine eyes with tears;
Drink your dose of aspirin,
Recite your curses;
Empty the casket with pleasantries;
Waltz upon the forsaken way;
Make the fault yours in an instant;
Pirouette into the blissful morgue;
White noise deafens the bustling child;
Confuse them of the songs they'd ought to sing;
*Deafen the truth with howls of jealousy.
Who knows? maybe this head's supposed to think like riddles;

Riddles that I don't even know myself
245 · Apr 2018
A Coward Tries
woolgather Apr 2018
Here it is, I'll try to write,
This blocking thought I'll try to fight;
So ****** up yet not of spite,
I'll try, even if I'm scared it won't go right.
I thought why not be wordy while being living in this hellhole, right?
244 · May 2016
Untitled
woolgather May 2016
I ruptured my own body,
I twisted my own head;
I know not what I must do,
To erase these burdens of mortality.
None can see what I really feel;
None can see who I really am.

Standing upon quiet land,
Stepping on fields of flowers,
Wilting at every second.
He seemed like a familiar friend,
A person I've met before,
Yet scouring, I've no memory of him.

Yet I digress, I think there is:
I've met him at 8,
He wasn't seen by others.
He was the only one to embrace me,
When I felt like an abyss,
Whispering haunt into my ears.

He'd want to strike me down,
He'd want to see me drown,
He'd be the one to do it himself;
Yet I let him be,
A part of me,
For as long as I can remember.

I painted his eyes blue,
He painted my world pitch-black,
Even the sunshine grew dark;
I knew he'd do it,
I knew he'd destroy me,
I knew, but I let him.

I can't shout what I want to say,
I feel like a hollow shell;
I have nothing in me.
They say I'd become different,
They say they know me,
How, when I am not me?

I may have bled not blood,
I may have not wounded myself,
But the gut-wrenching pain is real;
I can't help myself,
I can't find myself,
I am not myself.
I can't take it anymore.
244 · Apr 2017
Suicide Song
woolgather Apr 2017
I wouldn't know if this was just turbulence or
If it was cathartic comedy
I wish that I've known what wrong was my right and
That my memories were more than just cold
"He's just getting attention" I hear them say
Although that may be partly true
Cause when my dreams stopped painting pictures in my mind
I'd just stare at the dark like an empty cask
And when they would come for my body, it'd already get half-rotten and
I hope my memories won't be so

You'd always leave me cause I wouldn't say,
At least I've accepted that it's my fault
These words are from the moon that you never knew
Too bad that the sun can't shed a tear
And I know that you know that there are a million stars in the galaxy
But you're my only one
"He's just getting attention" I hear them say
Although I can't argue; that could be true
Cause when my dreams started painting my walls black
I'd have no other choice but sit still like an empty cask
And when they would come for my body, it'd already get half-rotten and
I hope my eulogy won't be so

I may not have left my room tidy
But I beg of them to think kindly

They would say save the best for last
I guess then I'm just not the best

Goodbye
.,
241 · Nov 2016
Block B
woolgather Nov 2016
You know you've ****** up;

*When you cry over happy songs.
Random
241 · Jun 2016
Stumped
woolgather Jun 2016
I once met a man who thought everything could go his way;
I said to him: Life's not your personalized story book!
And so he slumped down and decayed the rest of his history.






**The man I knew was me.
Broken glass is irreversible
240 · Aug 2016
01000001
woolgather Aug 2016
I can't think of anything to say
I love you for some reason though I know you don't
What a dumb thing to be in, right?
I can't put myself to go to others but you
Even though you can't love me back
Those three words seem to be the only ones that come out of my mouth:
I love you.
I can't hear myself saying them, either.
I'm too scared;
Scared of what they'll say,
Scared of what you would say;
So tell me this:
Why does my head insist on us, given there will never be us?
I just can't you'll **** me for it
239 · Dec 2019
Hello?
woolgather Dec 2019
I guess, it's selfish:
Not going back where it first began.

So I shoot blindly, in the dark,
Hoping that anyone would remember.

I have never been complete,
But i feel like a part of home is here.
It's Nes, trying to pick up the pieces. How is everyone doing these days? I hope you all are doing well.
238 · Apr 2016
Storm
woolgather Apr 2016
A never-ending rage,
Blowing gusts of hatred,
words, cracking like the sound of thunder,
He wrote, Storm.
Nonsense.
238 · Aug 2016
De Z
woolgather Aug 2016
I try my best to ignore you,
Yet, here I am, this poem's for you.
I look away when I'm around you,
But I guess you do the same, too.

Ever since we met you struck me;
Whenever you're around, I'm happy,
Yet when you're around I feel awful,
As if what comes next is always terrible.

I see you as a something else,
For you I'm just a statistic.
I know I'll never be a somebody else,
Even so, my heart starts to panic.

Yes, I'll admit it: I'm still in love with you,
Though, still would be just as false,
I never stopped loving you,
Although you never felt it because I am too scared.

And yet here I am, trying to write something,
And yet here I am, expecting,
Though I have always known that it'll be nothing,
At least my hope's still standing.

Euphemism won't hide my message,
Please read between the lines;
I love you, and I'll never change;
I love you, and that's my promise.
I don't care if you ***** from reading "I love you" too much
237 · Jan 2017
Again
woolgather Jan 2017
It's easy to let the fire grow,
But it's hard to start it up again.
It's easy in the dark to see the glow,
But it's hard to know what it is back then.
Senseless analogies, sensitive cahoot;
Meaningless fallacies that show us the truth;
The door is ajar, it can't be closed;
The dawn's still afar, we won't remember it most;
I wish I had never opened the box,
If I knew I had no idea to close it.
The lazy dog jumps over the brown fox,
Now you made everything in me twisted.
Sensitive analogies; Senseless as cahoot;
They're still fallacies; They'd show not the truth;
I wish I had known to reel out much better,
Your words of company, more than an affixer;
I wish we could start up the flame again;
*But I guess all I could do is write it all down with a pen.
It ended abruptly
236 · Aug 2017
Worth Hurting
woolgather Aug 2017
You're just there,
Yet I can't seem to bring myself to talk.

I know deep within me I long to,
Yet I digress.

The feeling that made my heart flutter,
My lungs, uneasy air;

You made me feel as if I meant anything.
Yet the feeling was never mutual.

My lungs, uneasy air;
My heart, shattered;

Holding a flower that'll never bloom;
*Such a flame that envelops the forest, but never burns.
I miss you

Even if I know you don't remember me
236 · Sep 2017
Pray Tell
woolgather Sep 2017
I've found a soul I've known before;

A soul I recognize yet one I am not familiar with;

A soul I've had a glimpse on,

A soul of a poet.

As I know your secret, I'll keep it sealed.

I hope you keep Mine as well.

We're all poets;*

We all ride our tunes.
Hi
234 · May 2016
Rambles
woolgather May 2016
I still love you, for some reason,
Still twisting this head of mine,
Torturing me with false thoughts.

I don't know what to do anymore.
Lost in the fray of your attention,
Loving you is a one-sided affair.

Losing, as always,
Over people who deserve you more.
Valueless, is my heart.

Endless, is my love,
Yet, I let you keep paining me;
Ought to forget, I should be doing.

Upon a dream that will remain a dream,
Always, when I close my eyes;
Lest I revere you and me.

Jabberwocky is my head,
Out of my mouth, I've recited those words;
Naivety maybe my reasons, but my love is real, and adamant.
Yep.
233 · Dec 2016
Nonsensical Love
woolgather Dec 2016
I'll love you,
*Even though you'll never love me back.
Crap
232 · Jul 2017
Envy
woolgather Jul 2017
We’re just ticking death sentences
But I think you have a higher chance to live;
We’re both ticking death sentences
But I think more people would rather pardon your case.

We’ve never really met,
Just talked.
We’ve never really met,
Just laughed at each other’s jokes.
Can’t say fate brought us here;
I don’t believe in it enough;
We’ve never really met,
Just involved.

I hope I could read your words.
I hope I could hear your songs.
I hope I could be enough to make you feel better;
But I never knew what to do.

We’re polar opposites;
See it in our words;
But I know we share a common pain;
One much painful than the other.

Your words have organization,
Your words have power;
Mine has none;
No meaning, just rotting.

Nevertheless, I ache to see the truth you write,
Maybe then you’ll see my truth barely understandable;
Maybe then you’ll give me second thoughts,
Even if we’re both ticking death sentences.
I'm tired
232 · Nov 2016
Why Me?
woolgather Nov 2016
I need you to hold me;
But I know you'd rather hold someone else.
I need you to stay with me;
But I know that you already stayed with someone else.
I need you to trust me;
But I know they'd poisoned you;
Now you see me as someone else.
I told you my secrets;
You told me yours;
I told you my doubts.
You told me your wishes;
Now I know why we get along but never alike.
I told you what bothered me;
You told me what bothered you.
We never had a commitment;
Yet I feel like I'm betrayed.
Once we part our ways,
That would be the end of it.
It's a pity that I thought you were special;
But it's a much more pity that you're like everybody else.
You may have changed;
But I've never regret the times.
A **** lie for an answer

To a question never asked
230 · Nov 2016
Block C
woolgather Nov 2016
It's a ******* understatement

*When you feel ****** all day and "it's just a phase."
Instead of criticizing them help them get over it
228 · Sep 2017
Relapse
woolgather Sep 2017
Fazed;

Blacked out.

Woke up with scars,

Left from mindless spurs.

Yet blamed.

Though it is my fault.

I still don't know why I do this.

Now I'm just dragging other people down.

I try to make up for it;

The more I do the more I'll drag others deeper.

The more I become honest the more I destroy.

Erratic slashing,

Woken up by a stinging pain,

A nostalgic feeling.

Blacked out.

*Fazed.
I'm getting worse

And this time I'm dragging people around me
227 · Jun 2017
Dump #5
woolgather Jun 2017
I cannot contain the grief the grief much longer,
I ache and yet nobody cares.
**** me, please.
I write cyclically,
And I am aware of my flaws,
Yet I ache to let them know;
To rescue me.
The one I want to rescue me most is the most distant; it is futile.
Oddly logical; my sadness.
I hope to see you again someday.
Goodbye.

I don't know if I'm happy.
But I know I'm depressed.
Even if I smile,
I'd end the day wishing I was dead.
Everyone who talks is temporary.
The grief I feel is evergreen.
I may move, but I stagnate.

I'll stay here
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here
Even if they don't want it.

I'm settling down,
You keep running in circles.
I'm tired now
But you still keep leaving me;
I won't stay for long
I'll just rot away.
I'm settling down,
But you keep leaving me.

I'll stay here,
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here,
Even If they don't want me;
I'll stay here,
Even if nothing's left;
I'll be here,
Then cry, and bleed, and die.

I'll stay here,
Even if you're things are all what's left;
I'll be here,
*Then bleed, and bleed, and die.
I guess a useless journal

I keep getting pulled down when they move higher up.

That's nice
226 · Jul 2017
Lag
woolgather Jul 2017
Lag
I feel like a **** fool;

Letting you see how defeated I am,

To a beast I never saw coming;

I feel very guilty,

As I see you tend to me,

Even with a casualty much larger than mine;

I feel very useless;

As I see you do your best,

While I idly wait for myself to collapse.

My guts are turned inside-out,

I can't do anything to stop it;

As I can't control my own self,

While you try your best to help me.

Why?

You're faring quite hard;

Why persist to burden yourself with me?

I know I hurt you already;

I know how much of a burden I am to everyone;

I know how ill I am to think this way,

And I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have let you see me vulnerable in the first place;

*Now you're having it hard
226 · Mar 2017
Numbers and The Cyber-Devil
woolgather Mar 2017
One, two, three, four,
Who's that knocking at your door?
That stranger you think you've never seen before,
That guilt you painstakingly implore;

Five, six, seven, eight;
Makes you love what those you hate;
Senses coming undone as of late;
Innocent as ignorant as ignorant as bait.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve;
*****, rotten past you try and delve;
Hope of seeing light; lies that you helve;
Nothing but out-of-place dementia to shelve.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen sixteen;
Treacherous words that appear on a computer screen,
Making you think your soul's so clean,
Don't waste your time: you'll just decay and demean.

Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty,
These wicked foolery has been a plenty;
Mind distorted, assorted, nothing but anomaly;*
The Devil's desert: Sweet Misery.
A floating mind may have a heavy heart tugging it down
225 · May 2020
Value
woolgather May 2020
what transpires here
are things that have just arrived;
none of them kept baggage,
or maybe some.

might i be given
the benefit of the doubt?
why must i still hear
the very same demons?

saying too much
or too little;
or both,
different on each ear;

why must the dark
feel like soothe,
when those who i call home
fear it?

maybe time will yield,
and to good things, tell;
what there is to triumph,
what stars are there to align.
Hi, it's Nes.

It's been a while since I've actually written anything.

I'm finding it hard to say at the very least the right words.

If anyone can read me, tell me anything. So that I feel like there's anyone who listens.
225 · Jun 2016
Letter
woolgather Jun 2016
If you're still standing,
You're a lucky one.
If you're alive, still hoping,
You're the lucky one.
The ravens have passed me countless times,
They made me write countless rhymes;
Trying to find the rhythm of my heart,
Like fitting broken pieces of art,
All of my efforts will never do
If I can't even get to you.
I know not of what true love is.
I know of what I feel is bliss.
I love deeply more than lust,
Yet I still bite the dust;
My heart's always been split into two;
I still think the other half is you.
I never know if you'd ever love me back,
And that is enough to feel alack,
My head keeps showing me memories,
It isn't nice, though they are pleasantries.
I hate that I miss your skin that smelled like sea,
I hate that I long the times when you laughed gullibly,
I hate that I still care after all these years of wishing,
I hate that I still love you, though you're never caring.
I wish you could read this,
But that would be something amiss;
Knowing my angels sing of your name,
Would be our destruction and I am to blame.
It's better to hide in muddy waters
Than to be clear and still break like none matters.
I'm still standing,
Why am I not the lucky one?
I'm still hoping,
**That's why I'll never be the lucky one.
It's better if that someone didn't know
224 · May 2024
!?!?
woolgather May 2024
the irony
of stringing words together,
not meek nor brutal—
is that it feels as if
you relieve yourself
of a burden,
and yet also
ripping your flesh,
wounds both old and recent;
clawed open to be felt.

a willing martyrdom,
or
a frivolous act.
a lot of good things have been happening to me, yet i feel so winded with all the things i'm currently facing.

hope you're doing well, stranger.

Nes
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