I know why I externalize and bluster
this is not the last self-discovery but it is close
it is one of the layers closest to my heart
I let my words work their will upon the world
so that they cannot work their will upon me
the private is the dangerous
it must not be let in and it has to go somewhere
so I must let it out
I talk about my feelings and shout them, yes
because if I didn't, then I would have to feel them.

when i was 13,
"if your friends jumped
off a cliff would you?"
was an effortless,
"no"
because when i was 13
the cliff was a tall,
intimidating
piece of land
with a neon sign that said
"impending doom"
lit up at the edge,
but now im 20
and the cliff
comes in glass bottles
and the cliff
comes in thick syringes
and the cliff
is drawn beneath
my skin
in india ink
and down below it,
i can see my home town
and i can hear the patient voices
of the kids i grew up with
that never got out,
shakily shouting
"come down here;
it's easier at the bottom"
and if im being honest
im stumbling toward it
with an alarming
lack of fear

///

*Songs tempt me very
Poetry makes me crazy
As if, the drugs I have taken
As if, I have lost and found you again
May be it's an illusion,
And it has grown me as a Rock,
Rocking all those to be rocked
Even my strength has grown as if,
I can make your pain,
That to be torn,
Turn to be a stone
And I can crack your cry
Again those yells have made me
An empty isle -

///

@ Musfiq us shaleheen

To have loved you
There was many reasons why...
But it's hard to believe
That you only get one love in life...
So much is missing
From this brokenhearted man
Its been said that time heals
Yet it hasn't begun to start to patch

Even though that life has broke it
The heart refuses to believe its time to fold it
Even though I keep on trying to free it and mold it...
The time we had has left its stitches to hold it

For every moment
though some so pointless...
With all the problems
And all the cries
I still spend all my days and nights...
With the very thought of you in mind
Trying to rip the stitches you have left inside

Even though that life has broke it
The heart refuses to believe its time to fold it
Even though I keep on trying to free it and mold it...
The time we had has left its stitches to hold it