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8.7k · Jan 2015
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
I put on my dress and smooth the creases under my eyes.
It just falls right, falls right on the curves of my hips
And hides the shadows between this rib caged heart.
For that moment, it reminds me less of myself
And more of you.
5.4k · Jan 2015
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
Her body was a shell drawn up from the sea.
If you put your ear to her heart
You'd hear a thousand pieces rattle,
A broken orchestra that longed to be free.
Sometimes we can feel broken. The thing is too often I break myself.
4.0k · Sep 2014
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Do not run from the sun, the bluebird said,
Your feet will unravel, leaving nothing but thread.

Then lend me your wings , she said in reply,
And we'll fly to a place where the shadows don't lie.
3.8k · Nov 2014
OliviaAutumn Nov 2014
The fragility of female flesh,
The feminine depth within each pore
Hides a deep havoc beneath glowing embers,
A storm man fears and calls a *****.
3.5k · Feb 2015
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
Don't use your words to build me a wall
As I am the foundation on which it will fall.
3.2k · Sep 2014
Love and Lust.
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Whispers and rings
you promise to bring,
that is what our love is made of.
Whips and wails
and back scratching nails,
that is what our lust is made of.
2.9k · Apr 2015
Spoken word- trees
OliviaAutumn Apr 2015
She sat beside me in a cloud of smoke,
Ash falling to my knees like a tree that just gave up on standing straight
And finally lay its head on the ground.
I am tired of feeling rooted in an earth I no longer believe in;
Tired of climbing trees to defy gravity and I know I can't win.
Not this fight, nor the next, or even a game of poker as my lips
Just can't stand being straight.

I am that fallen tree and sometimes I forget to breathe,
Leaving each breath like my car keys you tell me I don't need.
Who needs the earth when I have you landscaped before me?
These foundations are ours and you build me these walls
Just so I can knock them down.

I'm destructive like that, we are indestructible like that
So lets take a page from my book and draw ourselves a map
Right to this moment in time,
Where I whisper *"I've fallen for the girl, and you know what?
It's fine."
2.7k · Nov 2014
OliviaAutumn Nov 2014
She was an ordinary girl.
Plaits beside a waistline she drew on with ribbon,
Fastening her thoughts she'd sworn to keep hidden.

Behind closed doors she would loosen the noose
Man ******* before her,
And bind up her lover
The milkman's daughter.
2.4k · Apr 2015
Shipping present
OliviaAutumn Apr 2015
It wasn't my place to tell you;
I've been sinking ships since I can remember,
Each home washed up on someone else's shore.
This was before you wrapped me a lifeboat
And said, "darling, don't wait for the rain to pour,
As winds may change and skies may grey
But this ships not wrecked, its here to stay"
2.3k · Sep 2014
trigger warning: rape
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Lying beside the safety blanket of an open fire
You ask me why I am scared of the CD player.
A question no one dared to ask,
As if asking was like the warmth that
Would unravel me bare skinned
Limbs against floor boards
Revealing the things I hoard under
The loose fabric of a summer dress.

I confess to you them parts of me
You would never see unless you
Asked that single question.

I bite my lip, the tip of my tongue
Hoping it can charade its way out
Of these words, these words
I have been trying to drown,
to sink with sips of sauvignon blanc
Till I had dried the glass of myself clean, empty.

I bite my lip.

His eyes were like silver discs,
Scratched on the surface
Playing nothing but broken records
So no one could hear the fear inside my chest.
The melody of his muse would ring through my veins
so I shut my eyes,
Opened my thighs and I bit my lip
Drawing blood to my tastehah buds
To forget the thuds of his open palm
So no harm would come to me
If I forget to see, forget to breathe
Each night I would cry to the wake of the morning,
hoping tomorrow would never come.
For some, darkness is safer than light.

It wasn’t how they told me it would happen.
Slow, sober, a blur of moments
Woven together into a noose that would
Hang out my hope on the thread of a rope
And it wasn’t how they told me it would happen.
That I would go back to him when the darkness came.
That I would know it would always be the same
But I would never be the same again
He locked me in the closet for 6 hours,
Hands bound, mouth taped shut
And I never thought I would pray to stay locked away
I have never been so afraid
Waiting for the door to open to two discs
Reflecting the fear that was living in my heart.

I don’t know where to start.
Fear is an emotion that can scare you
to silence the secrets wrapped up in your lies
Beside the tears you keep in a jar for no one to see.
What is that bruise?
I fell in the shower.
Why are you bleeding?
Mother nature
Why are you not eating?
Im eating later
Why are you limping?
I am struggling to stand myself in the mirror
Can’t you see I am starving myself thinner and thinner
So please guess what is happening beneath this dress
My womb is ***** empty,
There is nothing left inside me to fill
Nothing left that is real
Can’t you see I am trying to **** myself before he does?

You ask me why I never told you.
I bite my lip-
This poem has been hidden beneath the
Smile I now wear, under my tongue
Within my lungs, inside my fingertips
That itch to write the truth
But I know if I say these words,
Unseal my lips, this story is real.
Tracing the lines he left on my body
I know he’s telling me to not pick up the pen
And that is exactly why I have picked up my pen.

I don’t want to condemn the people who ****,
Who try to escape the law
With threats to their victims
Hidden beneath words disguised as love
I don’t see myself as a victim anymore.
Him. He. That man. That boy.
He isn’t me.
I cannot blame myself for what happened.
You cannot blame yourself for what happened
Between closed doors, open alleys,
The bedroom in your own home
With your parents on the same floor.
People ask me why I am scarred
And I say these are not scars
These are my battle wounds
From a fight I thought I lost,
From a life I thought I tossed aside
From a time when I didn’t know if I was even alive anymore.
I didn’t survive, I am tired of being told
I am lucky to be alive to survive to be normal
The sad thing is, this is what is becoming normal
for too many women and men
and when are we going to make it stop?
Stop is a word so many know too well.

My ****** still lives in my bones.
He’s made it his home to roam,
To decorate and play the same song
Each night over and over and over.
I never invited him in.
I couldn’t escape my ****
But maybe it could have been prevented
If we teach our children what it means to have consented
That consent cannot be confused with silence
Why are children still not being taught
That ****** violence should never be silenced?
Instead of questioning what I was wearing
We need to start caring that 1 in 6 are sexually abused,
we have got used to a culture where we remove
a persons right to question whether this is normal.
This is not normal.
This is never normal.

When are we all going to stand up and say stop.
We need to stand up and say stop.
2.1k · Oct 2014
OliviaAutumn Oct 2014
Do not touch yourself.
Your body is not yours to claim,
Reign in your securities
And tie them to the bedpost
A notch that your crotch will never


Do not try to regain
The strength to stand up tall,
It only gives you a place to fall from.
If you hold your head up high
People will start looking what is inside.


Only let others touch which is yours.
Now open your legs for a round of applause.
2.1k · Jan 2015
The wanderer
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
"When I am with you I could never lose my sense of direction.
My hands are my compass and they are telling me you are my
2.0k · Sep 2014
The chase
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Tender and lonely I rest my head on her waist.
"I finally caught up with you",
Say lips painted with her taste,
"But in doing so I lost myself,
in this game you call the chase"
1.9k · May 2015
Dolls House
OliviaAutumn May 2015
The dolls house was an escape exist masquerading as child's play,
Emerald curtains open for all the neighbours to see.
Gentle, delicate, Miss China lays the table rather than in bed,
Spreads the table cloth rather than her legs.
The tea set lies daintily on the table for when he comes home
When her mother plants him a kiss in the garden to grow.
And watching the car park on the fading lawn
She wonders if window panes feel happiness at all.
1.9k · Sep 2015
Strawberry picking
OliviaAutumn Sep 2015
She picked strawberries with her teeth,
Red stains on lips blushed by the sweet taste
Of ripe fruit; her fingers clean
Brushed over me with delicate anticipation
Lifting the loose fabric of a summer dress
And I heard her confess her love
Through saying everything
Yet nothing at all.
Actions speak louder than words.
1.7k · Oct 2014
The Nun
OliviaAutumn Oct 2014
A nun whips me bare and broken
Against a wooden table Jesus once ate upon.
"Beg for forgiveness"
I get on my knees
and thank God for what I
am about to eat.
1.6k · Jan 2015
Looking glass
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
Alice sits beside the looking glass and touches her reflection
Breaking down beside the girl she cannot see is perfection.
1.6k · Feb 2015
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
I spent my nights reading books in our greatest libraries
Searching for what it is I am still clinging on to,
Then after the final vowel I realised
The one thing I miss about you, is you.
1.5k · Mar 2015
One night with you
OliviaAutumn Mar 2015
I want to wrap you up in yesterdays news like fish and chips,
Spending late nights tangled up in seaweed
On a shore that will never be the same
As tomorrow or the one before.
1.5k · Mar 2015
Denim heart
OliviaAutumn Mar 2015
I left my heart in the top pocket of her denim jacket,
The sickly sweet sugar of her bubblegum rubbing off on it
Making it less heavy, making it beat steady
And each time I saw denim in my mirrored reflection
I wondered if she stole my heart to keep as her confection.
1.4k · Sep 2014
Scientific Love
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Scientists estimate that you will fall in love seven times before you get married.
That 42% of these marriages will end in divorce.
That lesbians get their sexuality from their fathers inability to
Maintain a platonic relationship with a woman
Pram pushing into bedrooms whilst our mothers clean
With wine stained pinafores and nicotine laced lips.
They remove their motherhood camise
And hang it on the banister one day after school,
Her fatal attraction to the bottle and mine to the silk touch of a woman’s fabric being the perfect childhood cliché for a
chronic homosexual.

My mothers is still there like a scare crow to heterosexuality,
warning off all my seven deadly loves that could have come from man but now come from the caress of a woman’s cheek but still,
I am afraid of wearing my heart on my sleeve
In case I shrink it in the wash so I place it in my rib cage
Captive to the beat of my own heart grieving.

You are my second love and according to science
I am therefore chasing something that cannot be caught,
Something that has an expiry date before I can even co-create this thing called love  

So when I sip seduction from your navel,
When I unwrap you like the present at Christmas I never got,
Untying the ribbon as I undo your jeans,
Just know the only I do I will say is when you ask me if I think you look pretty.
Or if I want a brew when we are lying in bed puffing smoke rings
Around our impending sighs that float over us like rainclouds,
Drips of fate falling from these skies dampening my desire.

So forgive me if the only aisle I will see you up is the biscuit aisle, Pulling the fabric of my non-wedding dress around my slipping tights.
Forgive me if I trade in the sweat on your neck
For the salt side of a tequila
As sometimes I like to use the wool from over my eyes to knit me telescope so I can look at the stars between your thighs,
But what no one ever tells you is that when you wish upon a star,
That star has surely died.
Because I want to fall in and out of love 7 times.
Correction: I want to fall in and out of love with you 7 times.
I want to press you, not in a book, but against me.
Imprint the lines of your fingertips on my ******* like maps of Atlantis because I want to go places with you I never knew existed.
I want your nails engraved on my back like constellations of stars
So I can always find my way back to now. To then.
The present. The past. That very moment where Greenwich meantime got it wrong:
Those seconds were longer than any before,
And my life has been full of seconds.
Second child. Second best. Second chances. Second love.
The third the forth, the fifth the sixth but the 7th, the 7th time you tell me is no longer reserved for you.

You tell me the 7th time is for me to fall inexplicably, uncontrollably in love with myself.
So when I walk myself up a different kind of aisle I can do it with you by my side.
And I’ll stand there, lifting the veil from over my eyes and I will tell you, Darling, second love, science is colourblind.
It doesn’t see the colours of the rainbow like I do.

Because yes, I do.
spoken poetry
1.3k · Feb 2015
to be femme
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
Suitcases aren't made for dresses and skirts or any such thing,
They are another type of box they try to trap you within.
1.1k · Feb 2015
candy cane
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
Candy canes made her lips wet, sweetened with the thought of trips to the seaside and her pleasure in pain
1.1k · Sep 2014
She said.
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
Turn me over like your favourite novel.
Run your fingers along my spine.
Bite your lip at your favourite parts
Then read between my lines.
1.1k · Feb 2015
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
She told me I was her favourite cologne,
The kind you wear on special occasions.
Soon my glass began to wear thin
And I realised, you cannot own what I have from within.
1.1k · Sep 2014
My Pirate Wife
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
We chased storms along decks of love notes,
Capturing the exhales of midnight sighs.
She painted my chest of hidden treasures
With lips kept prisoner by the tides.
We were a beautifully crafted shipwreck,
navigating our bodies to collide
and it sinks my heart to see her
sailing alone,
my pirate wife.
just a bit of a draft
1.1k · Feb 2015
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
You tell me to grow a pear
Just so I can put the fruit between my lips and eat it.
1.1k · Sep 2014
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
This feeling is too big for my body to hold
so lend me your arms for me to unfold.
1.0k · Jan 2015
Socks and Liquor
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
I am forever mismatching socks so you can always remove them by the waistline of your silhouette,
Lighting dinner candles in bottles that are empty from the lover who drained me in a mix of crushed ice and deceit.
They burn as I distill in you,
Matches waiting for the day you no longer need convincing.
985 · Feb 2015
jigsaw heart
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
You broke my heart
And still I gave a piece of it to you freely,
Leaving me like a jigsaw puzzle
No one could ever truly complete.
982 · May 2015
OliviaAutumn May 2015
You asked for the world
So I gave you a mirror
And if I could not say this any clearer,
*darling you are my world
Your gravity pulls me nearer.
979 · Mar 2015
Empty kisses
OliviaAutumn Mar 2015
She was the kind of girl you want to wake up next to
With the marmalade lips you always longed to find.
Instead you would fill the silhouette of her body,
Engraved on the empty space she left behind
With the words to be continued
Left in ink and unsigned.
935 · Dec 2014
OliviaAutumn Dec 2014
My life with her was a tapestry of laughter,
marmalade and sugar sweet tea.
If you look into her eyes you can see that time came together
And it remains still woven, to this day, in me.
929 · Sep 2014
OliviaAutumn Sep 2014
The first time I went down on a girl she had the delicate flavour of bergamot.
I was so addicted to her I could brew in her imperfections,
dream of sugar mice in her navel.
she had given me the most dangerous sweet tooth for the freckle on her forehead and her bergamot scented bed.

Tracing the crack on the right hand corner of my mouth
I left her kiss behind, a ***** secret
fading like the silhouette of a flower at sunset,
darkness closing in around my naked body
that was a canvas I refused to believe was still art.

The second time I learnt not to stay too long,
to leave my socks on
to escape out that 4 minute exit  window
so I don’t infuse my heart in this metaphor we call love
I wasn’t strong enough for this weight
upon my shoulders to remain
the perfect convent school girl I was taught to be

so I begun to shrink my body
to fit in the comfort of a waistcoat pocket
amongst demin in a closed closet.
People begun to notice the cage I kept my heart in was growing bigger,
or I was growing smaller,
trying to break free from beneath my skin,
stretching it thin so you can trace the lines
I’d learnt to repeat: do not eat. Do not eat.
Do not let anyone in.
Do not let anything in.
There is nothing worse than letting someone see what you look like on the inside

you cannot make love disappear on command
like you can with a one night stand,
you cannot control sexuality like you can control your calorie intake,
restrict your appetite for more of her taste, give yourself space,
shrink yourself to give yourself more space to waste
and keep looking for love in all the wrong places
as one day your prince will come.

Keep looking
In the company of men, in the bottom of a bottle
blur your eyes so you can no longer recognise
who it is who lies beside you
who that person is in the looking glass,
there is no reflection in the mirror when you
starve yourself thinner and thinner
become the skeleton in your closet
to hang the girl they condemn and call a sinner
but a different kind of hourglass will count
down to 6, not the size, but how many feet
you will be in the ground.
When they open the closet door,
Your bones will no longer be there to be found..

No one tells you can’t read love like the fairy tales beneath your bed.
that your prince may wear a dress and listen to Nirvana,
the heart has no pronoun for a reason
love is not an etchasketch you can shake to change,
it is a kaleidoscope of every colour of the rainbow
with hundreds of different variations
an each one is beautiful

The sixth time I went down on a girl I told her I couldn’t stay long.
That I had to wash my hair, purge myself of her sweet touch.she held out her hand l
like a compass pointing north to home
and said every person has their own northern star
even stars fall.
No one asks them who they are falling for.
Instead we hold out our hands to catch them
And say come as you are.
spoken poetry
874 · May 2015
Waistline Dreams
OliviaAutumn May 2015
She filed her dreams in alphabetical order,
Wiping the dust from her minimalist future.
She boxed them up and piled them high,
Shrinking them to match her thighs
And the looking glass began to lie each night
Telling her the weight of her dreams
Was too heavy to fight.
872 · Sep 2015
OliviaAutumn Sep 2015
"I am not ok", she said,
"Two letters cannot possibly explain
The pain that resides in my heart.
There is not enough ink to begin
Describing what is within.
Find me a word that is real".
868 · Nov 2014
Sweet shop
OliviaAutumn Nov 2014
Caramelize my caress; Curl up in my confection.
Lick my sugared edges
For you are sheer perfection.
858 · May 2015
lady garden
OliviaAutumn May 2015
Petals drifted through our garden, and rested on her toes.
Sprigs of rosemary waltzed in the wind
and time captured the orange peel of her hair with perfection, a memory kept hidden in the pocket of my jeans.
The air had embraced indigo violets,
their scent imprinted on the collar of the breeze.
I get to my knees and hold the stalk of a forget-me-not,
And whisper she loves me,
She loves me not.
807 · Sep 2015
OliviaAutumn Sep 2015
She was a girl no one could understand.
Her body was her voice
And she was screaming for someone to hear
The unwept tears that were caged by that night,
When she learnt stillness after the storm
Was the earths brave face mourning
What was lost in the fight.
781 · Feb 2015
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
She folded me up like origami, turning something used into something beautiful
And smoothing out the creases of my geometric heart she kissed goodbye the girl she called art.
759 · May 2015
OliviaAutumn May 2015
I gave you my word,
Wrapped it up in cellophane so it would never lose meaning,
Enveloped in the kitchen draw where you placed for safe keeping.
And now when you read my poems with another preserving your touch
You'll realise you had all my words-
One was not enough.
759 · Jul 2015
The Moon and Her Face
OliviaAutumn Jul 2015
The moon pulls the shores of her skirt around her waist,
Playing her heart strings with waves of wild anticipation.
There is art in the unheard symphony of the secrets that unfold
Beneath the surface of the blues,
Within the gravitational pull of the only face
She will never untrace from the constellations written upon her bedroom wall.
752 · Sep 2015
The Club
OliviaAutumn Sep 2015
She stood there in a world full of glamour,
The art deco nature of her edges
Synchronising with the slow movements of sound
That slurred her into a haze
Of small sips of *** and salt that sat on her lips
Like an unwelcome guest.
She was out of place, a photograph on a window
Pained by being made with the wrong grace
Of those before.

She saw herself in the eyes of those around her,
Reflections of those parts she kept hidden
In a suitcase beneath her bed
Ready to leave behind,
Desperate to discard
The shadows traced by candlelight.
And she'd given up on the fight and heaven
For the pocket watch she kept in her heart
Had a small inscription
Forever engraved in time,
741 · Aug 2015
OliviaAutumn Aug 2015
Time is a woman with a whip and a chain
Who tells you healing demands submission and pain.
734 · Oct 2015
OliviaAutumn Oct 2015
She would tell me on amber evenings beneath the waiting sky
That she was my only moon, orbiting my edges
Like a well orchestrated love song,
Suspense in desiring to touch what she could only see.
She may be able to eclipse all light,
Be the only thing I long for at night
But there are others out there
Who will fill this space between us,
And in her face it shows
That each night is closer to her last.
724 · Jan 2015
OliviaAutumn Jan 2015
There are empty pages that yearn for ink describing her loving caress.
There are empty beds that beg for the arch of her lower back.
I know which one I would rather fill.
719 · Oct 2015
Butterfly Catcher
OliviaAutumn Oct 2015
The butterfly catchers net sat silently on a bed of frost,
Crisp catches of colour reflecting the Spring sun,
Lines of emerald to grace the walls of a London home.
Like dreams they lay still, an untouched memory.
An easy ****, gently executed and put to rest
To be remembered in the evening light
On a gentleman's windowsill.
Feminists keep fighting the butterfly catcher
710 · Aug 2015
Proposed Time
OliviaAutumn Aug 2015
"Don't give me your heart,
Give me your time.
Your fingers know my body like clockwork;
A heart can't turn back time at midnight
With the sole purpose of re-winding each moment
So that I can hear the chimes inside my chest that sing for you.
What use is a heart darling, when I can give you a ring?"
710 · Nov 2014
OliviaAutumn Nov 2014
When she bent over to plant a kiss on parted lips
Her red hair fell and rested on my hips,
And as I prayed this moment would never stop
She whispered, "darling, I am the cherry on top".
698 · Feb 2015
book club
OliviaAutumn Feb 2015
Open my pages
Read me back to front.
Pretend that you know me
Then call me a ****.
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