People keep saying
"It's better to write than think about it"
But I can't

I cannot write
That chaos thing in my head
I just can't

And sadly
Not a single word came out of my mouth
I can't release all this depressed things
So it still
Stays on my mind

My heart breaks

From all the wishes I’ve made

Looking up at the stars

That never came true.

My voice shakes

I feel my knees trembling

And my hands shaking

As I look at you.

Across the room,

You sit in a table

Circled by friends

You’ve known for three days.

Across the room,

I isolate myself

Listening to music

Stuck in a daze.

Such beautiful girls,

You’re surrounded by.

They really know how to bump and grind.

Such different worlds,

We’d never collide.

A girl like me is hard to find.

Desks and chairs and messy hair
Student rankings, must compare.
Always having something due--
Wake up at eight, slept at two.

Coffee, Red Bull, I need more
To push through my every chore.
My health and sanity is growing ill,
But all I need is an Adderall pill.

"It will be worth it in the end," I'm told,
But this college thing is getting old.
Always working and losing sleep
Because I have straight As to keep.

"Amazing essay," "Good job!" they say,
But they don't know of the price I pay.
They never listen to what I need or want
Unless it's in Times New Roman, 12 pt font.

You left me…
Almost speechless
Like when everything you want to say actually shuts you up
There were flashes of discourses by the greatest men ever
Lyrics to the songs that you never understood
But also there was silence that you would not have respected
Mixed in with a whisper just not loud enough to hear
Ironic how three words, you deemed suited for this moment
Spurred such a stream of simultaneous shush and scream
That gave me both the will to ignore your words forever
As it did the urge to tell you everything to your face

The belief your life is over
With nothing to be done
Its last part in isolation
Waiting
For the pain to become too much
The pain, the pain
Staring at the same walls
Forty-six days in a row
Never knowing whether
Tomorrow you’ll wake up
And if there is, if you’ll survive
A future left in store
Delirium, depression
A hole left in your soul
Then coming out on the other side
Only to realize
Everyone has moved on

Then who are you to utter these three words to my face
Who are you to dictate how my life after that should change
The words you chose so carelessly, I will take to the heart
Just not to leave the past behind but to make a brand new start
I’ll look you in the eye and use your words  against you
When I tell you how I am about to
“Get over it”

The way you hold me is the thing
That I miss most about you
The way it makes me feel when
You surround me whole
That long before our eyes meet
Your life is just like mine
Woven to be different
So that ours could intertwine
I miss the way you know me
Better than I do myself
I miss the way you look at me
The way I look at you
I long for every moment
You hear me in the silence
I miss the person that you
Help me to become
Yet missing you is not a
Loss like if you would've left
The things I miss are only
Reasons to rejoice

*because what I miss will not be missed again when we'll have met

You heard my cries
You saw the good in me
You don't care that I can't see
You've lifted my spirits
You've given me hope
I know tomorrow will be better,
Just because of what you said
Thankyou

People wait for thunderstorms (zap) to power their plant

Thunder storm chasers racing on a quest to get smacked

Ungrounded, the foundation wasn't built for this weather

Given into the gust (gust) and hope and pray that the tethers

Can hold taut when the storm front is rearing toward the condition

of needing power inherent, expose your mind to the issue

Build up my wall, and give me another burst to ignore it

Give me a drink, give me a smoke, maybe some tv before it

gives me a migraine, take two of these it'll mask pain

take a few more it'll mask everything that's on your brain

While the defiant are lined protesting calamity striking

and others lay dormant forming only rolling frequency finding

on the dot, off two clicks, give it a shift, check the sell by date

old ****, new ****, enlightening don't discriminate