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 Sep 2016 Kaitlin Evers
Stephan
.

Well, here I go again,
it’s time to put this pen to work
“Hey, can’t you see I’m sleeping?
He is always such a ****?”


I wonder what they’d like to read,
I usually write of love
“Ain’t that the truth, it seems to be
all he is thinking of”


Perhaps a poem wrapped around
a perfect morning view
“It wouldn’t be the first one
I have seen come out of you”


Or how her beauty touches me
and takes my breath away
“Please not again, the same old line,
find something new to say”


I know, I’ll write of autumn,
its arrival coming soon
“Oh geez, you wrote one yesterday,
at least it’s not the moon”


That's it, I'll write about the moon,
it just popped in my head
“Of course, he never gives me credit
for anything I've said”


A poem about flowers
in the garden would be good
“Oh great, some singing marigolds
neath an arbor where she stood”


How about an ocean,
as the waves crash on the shore
“You’ve written that a hundred times,
they really don’t need more?”


A sunset found at twilight
shining brightly tangerine
“You’re gonna bore them half to death,
if you know what I mean”


I want to say I love her so,
in hopes that she will sigh
“****, you say that one more time,
and I’m saying goodbye”


Well, maybe I’ll just wait
and write a poem later on
“I’m good with that, but promise me,
no dew drops on the lawn”


Here you go, back in the drawer,
until I write again
*“Finally, I’ll get some sleep,
I hate being his pen”
A collaboration with my whining, sarcastic pen.  : )
.
All the sea is lighted
And the sky above flashes,
Rains down on me, innocently,
Cupped as my new prayer hands
Are cupped like flowers, drunken,
The water falls from places higher
High as heavens only dreamt of,
I will stay here, low stationed -
For you my love, something,
Precious, yet to come.
S • Skin tight, skeletal cage
both ribs and mind.

K • Keep a strict diet, never break it, always hide it from those who would disapprove, so I learned to suffered in silence.

I • Internally a growl would emit, I reveled in the power I would get from it. To know I was structured, I wasnt a jumbled mess. Like the mass jiggling, clingling to this withering carcass.

N • Never could the fat girl come back out. carve her, choke her, starve her till she lost the will to shout. Shout for help, shout for freedom, shout for love in this life. Useless, everybody knows only fit people have that right.

N • Nobody would believe if I told a soul my struggle. "You are huge, big blue
whale how can someone like you have a disorder?

Y• Yell, scream "I WANT TO BE ME"
But I can't because of our society
deeming people like me are wrong,
why should my weight define wether or not I belong?

But because it does I hate myself.
I live this life with a wish to die,
all because my body is not
S•K•I•N•N•Y
write about your pain
from the most beautiful point of view
make your readers fall in love
with the demons in you
1038

Her little Parasol to lift
And once to let it down
Her whole Responsibility—
To imitate be Mine.

A Summer further I must wear,
Content if Nature’s Drawer
Present me from sepulchral Crease
As blemishless, as Her.
I don't know if I love you
But I'm willing to try
Even though I fall in love
With every passersby

I'm not sure of my person
Whether I'm weak or strong
But when I'm with you
I know I'll get along

And perhaps that's all
I need to get me by
A simple look from you
With that fire in your eyes

I just hope that in the end
I won't turn you away
Maybe this is love
That wants so bad to make you stay
I walked into a bookstore today
looking like a ghost finally
getting out of the shell it was stuck in.
hair a mess.
lips ****** from continuously biting.
eyes red and watery.
I knew people were looking and I knew they didn't understand.
"why does this girl look like she just got back from a war"
"was she just at a funeral or something"
yes.
yes.
I wanted to tell them I will always love him
but I will resent him forever.
The funeral of our broken memories
broken promises
broken hearts
was a few days ago
and I wanted to tell them that I wished I missed it just like they did.
I should've never gone.
Every where that brought strong vivid memories would forever be a graveyard.
My own ******* bed,
a graveyard.
he used to sleep here I would say.
But he left long ago and leaving absolutely no trace.
no trace of life
no trace of the beautiful love we had.
It takes a horrible person to make something
so beautiful and turn it into bitter dust.
He turned it into a graveyard.
and signed his headstone
"I'm sorry you weren't good enough"
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