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Veronika Jan 2017
White jeep
That's where I hurt your head and you cried to your mum
The same one that my grandad crashed
The mafia wanted to exchange me for money
I didn't understand

I found a gun in the kitchen draw
It was pretty cool

And someone's wheels rode over my mums knee
They planned to throw her off the bridge
But she woke up  

And two men made an offer with two angry dogs on their side  
A deal went wrong and they took her dignity
Afterward they threw her on the steps like trash
Veronika Jan 2017
I am your mother
I will make you feel incompetent all your life
You will always seek my approval
I will reject your individuality
I will know what is best for you
What you should wear
What you should eat
Who you should be
Who your friends should be
Who you should marry
I am your mother
You will be grateful
For raising you
Feeding you
Teaching you manners
Allowing you to have an education

I will bully you from the bottom of my heart
But you must accept me as I am because I am your mother
You only have one
Veronika Jan 2017
Ste
Sun-dried it was, with freckles and pimples each individual size and cause
Mixed with strange colors from the blue UV
A canvas for sweat, where I’d sleep, drink and eat
The surface I treat like a marble dream I walked upon without slipping
Like those shoulders I gripped when you made me feel little
And I begged you for more

Was I cinnamon to you, not perfect all the time like her
The vanilla that she is, pure and classic
She is the real porcelain inside and out while I am ceramic
My cracks don’t show at all, then all at once
But the scariest part is that I haven’t fallen yet, I live on
And you’re on the other ******* side
Veronika Nov 2016
The first time I looked at you,
In so many ways I asked you to be mine
And although it wasn't spoken aloud, you said no

You're under someone else's thumb
Numb to my tiny spells
You live on an island with your Beautiful

You walk around under the Sun
And pay no mind to my dark
Each time I see you I let you go
But I hope you never go far.
Veronika Oct 2016
She was a crescent moon never completely lit
She imagined someone out there would find her and strike a match
She never considered it might hurt
This moon hid from most things
She orbited around a planet that was so unfamiliar to her
She knew others like her existed galaxies away
It made her feel both lonely and special.

The moon befriended stars
She sometimes wished she was small and bright and fleeting
But she was large and slow

One day one of the stars started mocking the moon with his light
He would shine right in her eyes and tell her she was nothing

The moon gradually grew smaller
It only looked within itself with shame
Finally, there was just a tiny spec

The whole world burned.
The moon chose to listen to an ignorant critic, because it was ignorant of its own worth, not realising that without it, there would be no critic. Loneliness can be to blame, to an extent. Without the cool presence of the moon, without darkness, there is no ‘light’ or, at least, there is no appreciation of the difference. Therefore, the world burns - literally, in the sun and metaphorically, with indulgence.
  Sep 2016 Veronika
Lacus Crystalthorn
When I die,
I want to be clothed in black
and look stunning.

Afterwards,
I want my body cremated and my ashes scattered
wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere.

But before all that,
I want my closest friends
to read their eulogy.

I will sit in front or in a corner,
and listen to our ancient stories
Every word of it.

I want to know
how they would
remember me.

I want to know
if I've been good, over all,
and if I have been worthy of this existence.

Like a regular human being,
in the end,
I need to be validated.

For now,
let me lay on this bed
in an old house in an old room.

There is a certain tranquility
in watching the low sun passed between
the small openings of the capiz window.

There is incarnation.
There is finding again.
There is hope.

No matter how tiny
and bleak
and almost impossible it looks,
it exists.
To those we will left behind after we passed.
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