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Oct 2016 · 415
Awareness.
noor ande Oct 2016
Remove my problems.
Extract them out like one would extract the venom out of an anaconda’s tongue.
and then make a u turn,
take the first right,
and enter a completely disparate route.
                               Some type of re-birth
That is when I came to the realization that,
I need a fresher, more dire stack of cards to play with
To manipulate and over think,
If my game ends now, I’m just a myth
That is when I realized that these old cards don’t deserve me,
I’m out of patience, moves, and techniques
At that point, the cards were the ones playing me,
Rounds over,
Go get out,
Drive your rover,
Towards the woods,
Look all over,
For a new game, a new path to takeover
Something realer, something bolder
Who cares if you become the loner
***** this world, you be the controller
Perhaps it will crumble, and fall over but what truly matters is you stay sober
Cause oh, my mind,
on the other side,
A master prize
awaits your very fight,
to finally win over
So please, acquire
A new set of worries and desires
A burning outlook for your inner fire
                          Some motivation to proudly smile
and don’t forget those cards you want to compile
A newer game
       with so much more style
That’ll make the partial act of playing, Worthwhile.
Sep 2016 · 354
happiness, for now
noor ande Sep 2016
throw my problems in the trunk and drive straight head, only looking back to remember that they still exist
Aug 2016 · 530
clarity complex
noor ande Aug 2016
whats a life, lived in denial?
lived in doubt
lived in exile from my own mind
in a blackout
of the reality...
or should i say, realities
encompassing me
the only truth i know is that im on my bed,
my sister is reading a book that she had already read,
my furniture is taunting me with its realness,
while my thoughts have fled in the midst
of my search for the parts of me that truly exist.
Aug 2016 · 371
being with you.
noor ande Aug 2016
Being with you, I suddenly felt free.
Being with you liberated me
Being with you, was a thrill, so soon,
your aura had pierced through the typhoons
Surrounding my heart, you entered my zone
A volcano erupts
               we provoked a tone.
Being with you,
Im suddenly alone.
I realized Im wrong
I realized what I did
This was not how it was supposed to be
It was too late i had pulled in you in too deep.
You saw me as everything that i sought to be.
Whereas.
I dwindled and fell into depths of no worth
The broken side of me had swiftly resurged
My passion for you led my own passions astray and
Replaced them with hell on earth.
Pretty funny how the irony just emerged
Hell and heaven the reason for birth
And then I remember why we ended and
it brings me mirth.
Being with you was another universe.
One thats too vast it immersed,
but it didnt fit, So it turned into a curse.
I’ll  leave my paradoxal self to converse with your lips to create the most beautiful free verse
But here its reversed, reality is worse
It cannot be traversed so i simply adhered
I needed a reverse
My state was deteriorating the more i rehearsed
The lines in our script
Just bodies, no words
But darling please realize this isnt gonna work
Lets leave it to that world,
To ignite our fireworks and
it feels strange, like a quirk
We may go berserk
But i guess our love was the type that subverts
The only way out is to weaken our verse
Disturb our lines and coerce
Them to stop rhyming let the letters disperse
Being with you is poetry that i cannot blurt
Or sing or whisper it left me inert.
Im sorry, that i didnt notice it first
That poison was also what love exerts
And that love would leave us with so much **hurt.
Aug 2016 · 362
Addicted
noor ande Aug 2016
My thoughts have become rotten
they've become overused
on and on every moment everyday
the same exact notions
the same sick emotions
it's like a poison it's released and I'm entrapped
What the **** am I doing my thoughts don't correlate with my physical motions
towards the deep, towards the hole
ah, the sweet release
This ******* drug I'm done I quit
One thing I'll do to omit this exhausting chemical it can't exist I ******* quit it can't exist!
Yet I still give in, I can't stop smoking
The endorphin of your breathe, the passion of this mess
Drowning deeper and deeper in this ocean of killing devotion
Inhaling the essence of this relationship
Denying myself it's basic commotion
It'll be over soon and then I'll somehow ****** your flame
But it's too late
**** with you its not a relationship it's a addiction it's insane
I've excelled at tearing my own flesh
I deserve a ******* promotion
Man I knew this would bite me in the ***
Dispose of any light I had
My heart is decomposing in slow motion as I set off my own erosion
Guest that's why they say stay away from drugs
They'll likely set off an explosion
slightly aggressive
Aug 2016 · 323
The Knock
noor ande Aug 2016
The souls had a burning eagerness
They were lost and mislaid
They were worn out and drained
Frazzled, they searched for aid
A momentary Band-Aid
Unbeknownst to them, their aid was at strife
Exhausted from a strenuous plight
When approached by the souls
The aid clasped its knife
And scathingly ripped the vines of harmony and yearning right out of their haven
Leaving the souls crumbling with a loss of direction and a non-existent elation
Drowning in hopelessness
The end, was at sight
Finally arriving, barely alive, there was a clamorous knock
Fervent and ready to pay the price
It beat the souls down
Only to bring them paradise
A mystifying euphoria
It felt like they were in an ecstatic coma
The souls exulted in the thrilling aurora,
Discovering their freedom, the gleam of propriety
The burning souls had arrived to their new normality
Jul 2016 · 509
bad effects
noor ande Jul 2016
******* up her brain
******* up her soul
******* up everything she had ever owned
Locked up her only savior in a cell,
She’s hopeless now, there was no one else
She’s stifled in a cimmerian shell
with a nebulous heart conquered by thrashing bells
Erratic self-deleterious thoughts
A throat filled with uproar and frantic knots
This is what she has become, this is what you’ve made her
She didn’t know if you were the devil, or just the monster within her.
Jul 2016 · 882
.
noor ande Jul 2016
.
my heart, is contaminated
the person handling it
                 isn't wearing any gloves
their fingertips press on my ventricles
their prints are ingrained as my
breathing
is restrained
Exposed to the sharpest smoke
inhaling the most addicting poison
my vessels gradually drained
                    of blood, of purity
my heart will never be retained
Jul 2016 · 2.7k
Aimless Ambition
noor ande Jul 2016
Beloved wanderer,
What are you running after?
your external commitment to reach crassness is taller than a benevolent Tikbalang
you are quicker than its long legs to lead a soul astray
But my beloved,
where is your soul?
your Passion is non-existent
like an ondine, all you seek is an immortal soul to waste
on your blinded fate
on the woes you continue to create
and your petty blown up mates
a thick, bold flesh they’ll never extricate
surrounding the empty stems from which they originate
My beloved,
your eyeballs were so viciously extracted and replaced
with poisonous bile
your hellhound eyes are so vile
if one stares at them twice
they’ll be seized, and they’ll be sacrificed
and their souls disintegrate
their roots begin to decay
they merge with your spirits
and they aimlessly gyrate
around in circles,
my beloved, you **** the souls
dumping their bodies in holes
indulgent in mutilating the skin around your heart
vandalising your worth and claiming it's art
but my beloved wanderer
where is your drive?
where is your start?

— The End —