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 Jan 2021 rage
Shi Em
1.10.21
 Jan 2021 rage
Shi Em
but i guess we're always
going to be lonely;
and maybe that's just
what it means to be
truly alive.
 Jan 2021 rage
Exosphere
she is ok, I think
she went back to her safe place
you’re there too, she said
everyone is
it’s very lovely, I hear
 Jan 2021 rage
daphne
i am so desperate for his affection
that if he held out a cup of poison
i would've accepted it with glee
convincing myself the burn it left
was his dose of warmth for me
 Jan 2021 rage
Jack
time will heal
and silently
collect the scars
that are
meant to be
left in the past

after all
love
simply isn't enough
to make us last.
to her, the one who got away
 Jan 2021 rage
Påłpëbŕå
BULB
 Jan 2021 rage
Påłpëbŕå
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   I   '   m
  n   o   t
   f u s e d ;
  M a y  b e
   a    l   i   t   t   l  e
   c   o   n   f   u   s  e  d  .
  I ' ve    s  t  i  l  l    g  o  t
  a    l  o  t   o f   f  i  g  h  t
  l   e   f   t     i    n    m   e ;
  I ' ve    s  t  i  l  l    g  o  t
a   l o  t   o f   l i g h t
   l   e   f   t     i    n
    m  e . . . . .
Edison did not just invent the bulb;
He created a bright future by not giving up.

Last night I thought I would never get up. But here I am today.
Its not falling that scares me; What scares me is never wanting to get up again!
 Jan 2021 rage
Anne
Eating my beyond burger with a fork and knife,
drag race in the background,
my Samantha doll by my side.
This isn't loneliness anymore.
This is just life now.

I'm not very good with words anymore,
maybe I never was.
So little has changed and yet everything has.
I still long for love.
I still want to be wanted.
That might never change.

Yet now this lonely world is one I've come to accept,
come to love.
I may be my only friend here,
but that's one more than last year.

Nothing I create is good,
but I'm learning to create anyway.
I'm learning to share my bad art,
at least it's art.
Right?

I dream of slitting the throat of the dog next door.
Someone outta shut him up.
I used to think that was an evil thought,
now I know there's no such thing.

I turn 21 in 2 days.
Math. Yuck.
I'm old,
getting older every second.
Whatever.
I will grow into this skin,
I'm sure of it.
Maybe.

I'm grateful.
More than anything I am grateful for it all.
The pain,
the pleasure,
the guilt,
the anger.

Pills,
family,
friends,
dolls.

No one reads these except me.
So this one is for her.
For you.
Anne,
my love,
my villain,
my biggest fear.

May this year be kind to you,
may you be kind to it.
May you listen to your spirit guides,
may you accept what you never could.

Growth is sticky and wet,
Knowledge is thick and grey.
May you be the light and the darkness,
the cut and the band aid.

More than anything,
be okay.
You're gross,
in a sort of beautiful way.
May you be okay with that.
Truly.




Bad art is still art.
Right?
I think so.
For now.
tame your demons
broken voices
persistent choices
mix your familiar freedom tones
do not trust all that you see

sun block the arrows
blind as night
clear as day
shadows created by your light
water pulls you with the moon
limping along like whitened coal

stealing stars
on borrowed time
familiar faces break into pieces

character confessions reveal your judgements
ice cold face teared with drops
licking flaming all that is
 Nov 2020 rage
Mansi
Masks
 Nov 2020 rage
Mansi
I have always wondered
What I will look like when
I take off all of my masks

As I am slowly taking them off
I see scars that
I'm not proud of
But there is more beauty
Than I originally
Anticipated
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