We talk of people
Lost and found
Talk of pain
Wanting to drown
Wishing it were over
Before its begun
Yes, with life comes darkness
But also the sun

And I know it's not easy
Is always going to hurt
Communication
Dedication
People, we dont always work

But don't give up the fight
Don't let them bring you down
It's up to you to keep going
Be strong when you frown
Because when you look at others and think;
How do they survive?
All the difference is in hope
All the difference is; keep trying.

When He told her He loved her
He told her not Her
And she brought it up
Where She could see
Heart already torn
What could She do?
But hope it a trick
A joke
As best friends like they often do
But as she smiled and She smiled
Tears in Her eyes
Her boyfriend - the culprit- saw none
Of the pain She locked inside.

It rains when it’s over
Not just outside, but in
Making a puddle
In the hole
That was once me

I've been distant for so long,
I can't find where to run,
Can't find where to go,
Or a way to get my Hallowed skeleton,
Home.

by a cracked window,
grow crooked soul,
how high the rose climbs,
to yet wither and fall,
may both happen at once,
it happens not at all,
to take no chance to bloom,
is no chance at all.

yet is its destiny to tumble,
and shatter to glass?
then once again rise,
in a year to pass,
but should it keep falling,
down to the roots,
would it not grow again,
if it were to choose?

I am hard as metal
I am cold as stone
I am sharp as iron
In the smithies home

I have bitter poison
Lacing my mouth
I have burning fire
The doesn’t ever run out

I am a princess
I am your queen
With strength inside
That is metal-edged mean

Yet I am soft and vulnerable
Cloaking iron in hay
I wrap myself in underbelly
So as to seize the day

For the sake of those I allow close to me
Having friends whilst I can
Let them see my soft insides
Toughen my skin to leather tan

Each day I feel pain beyond
As my softer side is shown
But inside is darkness
That overtime will have grown

Grown Hard as iron
Become Cold as stone
And when life takes my leather
They will rue the metal shown

My words have dried up,
I have nothing left to say,
Along with my blood,
All feeling has drained away,
Like a corroding reel of film,
My life is left, sepia grey,
God must have known,
I won't see another day.

Nobody now can take this pain away.

Pitter patter rain
Melting in my brain
As Acid pours out my head
Spilling to the knees and down my legs

If I told the truth
That the only thing
That makes me stay alive
Is my fear of what it would do to other people
Were I to do what I think best
For myself
Because I see no future in my allotment
I see no way, no reason, and no why to remain
Other than that I’m terrified
Of causing even more hurt than I already have
To those whose lives are infinitely worth more than mine
And capable of more than mine
As long as I don’t ***** them up
But for me to feel better
Would be to feel nothing at all
And to do that would break some of them at least
So i’ll stay tortured and strung in between
For the sake of those
Who can never know the truth
Because truth be told
I have nothing left in my life but death

The worlds is painful
The only forever person
Is you in yourself

Majesty
Is a child's first fantasy
There is no truth in a golden image
But a mirror in its lies

Kings will turn to skeletons
And even those preserved by time
Art works hallow
Hollowed skulls
A Pencils faded line

There is no such thing as majesty
But in a child's mind
I let mine ring with truth in lies
A fantasy to last all of time.

M I S S I N G

been lost for a while
sorry about that
following signs
'cross an empty map

I would give the world to stay
But the world is not mine to give
And time cannot be changed
Even by the world and those born of it
So in love, I do not seize the impossible
Though I wish it were untrue
Instead, I'll lay here a while,
And talk from afar with you

Hoping that we take each moment
Never for granted
Treasure every opportunity that we can find
Because moments live only once in happiness
When they're what we've wanted all our lives
I dream of my wish being true
And our friendship burning bright in the skies
Whole constellations of differences
A universe of different lives

For you are Yours
And I am Mine
We need only ourselves to be whole
But that doesn't mean we can't be side by side
Best friends again, not quite alone.

And though I would give my world to stay here
My world is not truly something i's want to give
And the future cannot really be changed
By men of the world in which we live.

I leaped forwards
For your outstretched arm
Towards hope and love and light

Only to fall backwards
Back down the hole
Onto a bed of nails and spikes

there she stood
poised like an animated fairy-tale
the bow of her lips quickened to quiver
failure; a call to reality
porcelain doll cheeks stroked with shades of red and tears
the very same as at the end of her brush,
she canted poisonous words like a dark chant
gross words, from such beautiful eyes
like knives at the canvas before where she stood

stains marred the ball shoes on the in-proportionate figure
an extravagant gown of scarlet torn to one side
revealing paint smears and mismatched feet
before the beauty she cried
bowed to knees at the sight
her elegant dress muddied , her perfect shoes stained,
her body all twisted

for how could she know?
It was a sin for her to cry
it was a shame for her knees to reach the ground
she bawled and pleaded- like a newborn hearing the tragedies of the world
the painters overalls slipping from her shoulders
brushes clattering to the ground
another masterpiece failed
another painting she would not sell
for how could she see?
she is a masterpiece herself
perfection finally reached
she cannot see, that she
is a masterpiece- at least to me.

Be yourself
Never forget these tips
You're not really living when you live
With poison on your lips
The only chip on your shoulder is
The one you made yourself
Time is your Boulder
Why waste it for something else
And when humanity has thrown you
You're not wanted anymore
Cast-off their shroud of bitterness
And open up the doors
As life is for the living
Each individual and all their time
Don't ever let someone compress you
Say my life is not yours it's mine
Feel the truth as you hear it
Know your decisions bring what comes
No one else can take the blame
If you never get things done
So take a second to realise
All you have become
Good things and bad things
All rolled into one
Because all of this is you
For better or for worse
All of this is me
A blessing and a curse

You are mine
As i am Yours*;
This is not a command,
But a promise,
                *but a plea
now, I give you my all
please,
            
              ... do not break me.

Just keep blooming little rose,
No-matter what upturns your roots,
What stones may clutch your stem,
Nor what draught and darkness shrouds your growth or twists your path,
Just keep blooming.
For someday, something will come along
That brings colour to your cells
Turns warmth to your skin
And shines the moonlight on your petals
As you have Always deserved

When you think of me, what is it you see?
Do you see the ghost, the smiles or the scars?
Do you see the tears, the broken halves?
Or do you see, What the mirror shows?
Do you see beyond your nose?

Is it the light that catches your eye?
Or is it all that we can't deny
What is it dear, what do you see?
Nothing she said- Thinking of me.

-  -  -  -  -  - Pt I
When did this happen?
                                       When you let it.
Why do I care so much?
                                     Because you fell.
Will I survive?
                      God knows, but you'll try.

-  -  -  -  -  - Pt II
I handed you the loaded gun,
  Closed my hand around yours,
     Pressed the barrel to my head.
I tied the rope around my waist,
   Threw you the line,
      And jumped off the edge,

Pull the trigger.  Let me go.
         Don't catch me when I  F
                                                      A
    ­                                                       L
                                                               ­  L.
                                        It's all the same,
                                                      To me,
                                                     After all.
-  -  -  -  -  -  Pt III
Dear John/Jane Doe,
          I have doubts, I have fears,
          But for some reason,
          I haven't disappeared,
          I'm no good for you,
          But we're still here,

          I let you in,
          Do the same for me?
          Don't just stand there and watch me bleed,
         I beg of you,
         You're all I need.

And for God sakes, if you're not going             to catch me;
     Don't let me fall.

Maybe what was good was bad and bad was good
But if so would it hurt that we could
Return and try till we break once more
Till one or the other walks out the door

But in a way that would hurt less than this
Knowing it's over without what ifs
But we're stuck in a limbo, both still in love, can't let go
                  but
It's not the right time, we'll lose each other.
                                We know.

Something I can't do and neither can you
Is lose my best friend and lover, though it seems what we have to do.
To survive this, endless pain
How I wish to go back and live it all again

Fix what was good to make it better
Change my heart to realise sooner
That my dream had changed from art to you
And now I'm left in a pit with nothing- without you

As I said.
Maybe what was good was bad and bad was good
Our love was good but we were too young to feel as strong as we could
In that way it was bad
And we'll struggle to fix it
But should we hold onto our chance? Or cut ropes and drift this?
So confused cause you care and act like you love,
but at the same time it breaks me we're not as close as we should
Be.
We should be,
But only in a couple years or three.
But what then when I'm all alone,
Come back and find you've forgotten me?
Or will you be there, been my friend, still in love with me?
Can this grow again, you said that maybe there was a chance.
But I couldn't bare for us to hurt even more in this dance.

Distance is unforgiving but it's what we both need. Is it working for you?
It's not for me

Till the end you make me happy
And at the moment the end is a happier sight
Than that of a life without you, all alone
Even with art it's a fight.

Bad and good, good and bad,
What does it matter if it just makes you sad
I'll chase happiness wherever I find it
At the moment all i can find is you
With your double barrelled pain
Shooting once for like we were, shooting again for distance away.
But I have to take my chances
After I build myself up
You are all that I want now
And I won't give you up.

I used to have you,
Yet, there you still sit,
Watching nothing, as it flits.

Cat on the Box,
Lying flat- on the fridge,
I forget;
       Memories are tied with Companionship

Is too much
My constant affection
Is suffocating
How I always say positive things and compliment you
Is creepy
That I like to always hug goodbye or peck your cheek on occasion, even in public
Is worthy of cringe and far too soppy
I know I’m too much
That I love too much
Feel too much
Care too much
Worry too much
That the way I love
Is too much
You tell me everyday
And it is hard
To stop feeling this way
To curb my impulses
Cut short my smiles
And care less
It is hard
To learn not to love
The way I love
But I am learning it non the less

The only thing I want from you now
Is for you to care enough
To stop me from wanting to die
It’s my last shard of hope
Despite knowing you’re long gone

Each poem is a part of me
So disgusting, I hate it
I detest all my drawings
And loath my creations
My inabilities, my faults, my claims
The burbling guts to my name
All things, every thing
Connected to me
Needs to be chained to a ball
And drowned in the sea
A sea of red maybe
To bury it's name
As I write it on my arm
And cut it out to remove its stain
Remove the parts of me I'm scared of and fear
Remove the parts that I once held dear
Throw em', burn em', it don't matter what I do
For each old scar; I'll find something new.