i wish you'd leave me alone
i wish you'd leave my head
like how you leave me in the morning
i wish i could make it go away
with a whispered lullaby
like the monsters under the bed
i wish i could stick a knife in it
you're still standing there so perfectly
and it feels like a tragedy
when you smile at me
and it's not like how i remembered it.

you leave.
i wake up and you're gone.
you leave like how your kisses fade away on my clavicle.
you leave like the roses that slowly waste from june to
september.
you leave like you can't wait to.
you leave like there's nothing better in the world.

your lipstick lingering on my coat like wine, like blood. the lights shine and the music stops and there is the epiphany, your figure on the floor, on the road, in my closet. on the bed. on my bed. your hair like a prayer, your eyes whisper things that make the sky turn crimson.
your hair, draw a map, a pattern of a faraway land. on the sheets. between the sheets. your face like a remembrance. your kisses are slow-paced. and it rises and rises and rises like fire under the ash. im burning. i dont mind. you're all I see. the way you laugh and make the wind shiver in jealousy. the way you see pain as beauty. and if you watch the moon I'll watch over you. if you fly I'll go with you. to the stars. right through the sun.

I know what would happen anyway
That's why it's pointless
The sky gives me another color
That leaves me a tale of nothingness
Even if it gives me another eternity
It still feels as blunt
Watching myself slipping backwards
With every step that I take on
There's always an end in the plot
Where I open the door
And leave myself on a train
To a land so far away

Still waiting in the station,
It's like I'm paralyzed by it,
Maybe I was just not meant to be here
Cause all I can recall is memories of pretend
Always less
Always too late,
And when I look into the mirror,
Not knowing what's real or fake
Not having anywhere to stay
There's no one looking back at me there

Just push me to the edge
Tell me how to dream again.

There's just a void nothing could ever fill
As you sing that coloratura lonelysome
Before all the parliaments I'd built up on my mind
Take a judgment on you.

I'm not surprised,
When it comes back again,
Parhaps stronger
And more demanding than it's been,

I'm always just sorta sitting here
Measuring all the possible ways
To get my life in shape
But not taking the road to any of 'em

And I'm always just sorta wishing
That you would come,
Make a move first.
Those half-baked ideas
I've got in my head
Before I try to share,
They just go away.


Everything we do is to lie
I feel like it the whole time
Cause there's a side to me
That I just don't feel secure enough to share
So I just keep on lying
To get me through another day.

Those places we've been in
Does it still illuminate?
When I watched the world going half
In the somewhat bluish-white of your eyes
And the things we could have had if
It wouldn't get so dark,
Reaching for, not finding anything to hold
It's like getting so lost in that world
And there's no way out of that confusion,
That just keeps hanging me on.
Forcing me to smile,
Bringing the wild side back on
The surface.

Sometimes when it gets dark,
I can't help but thinking where you are
I repeat the lines in my head
To make things sound more clear,
But it's still as vague
And I'm standing there all along,
Waiting for you to come,
Taking another ticket,
Just to keep myself from thinking
About where you could be,
Writing down another lie,
And send it in.