i wish i could sleep.
it's been weeks since i've had any r.e.m.
but what i remember from these sleepless nights
is that i spent them talking with you

Speeding my way down the road,
I notice a car in front of me;
It slows.
Stuck behind while I'd like to fly by,
In this moment I seem to realize,
I must stop and live to be alive.

Still stuck behind this car and the exit,
More poetic than realistic.
Behind a 1990s Chevy Cavalier.
My least favorite car.
I hate it dear.
I see the bumper sticker that reads "life".
Was this chance?
Or was it fate?
Do I get off?
Or is that a mistake?
A million choices to be made,
Although one life is to be saved.
Do I keep driving,
Or do get off?
For this I must give a lot of thought.

Tomorrow I will wake up with puffy eyes,
examine them in the mirror,
thoughts of tonight swirling back,
push it all away.
Splash my face with cold water, that won’t work.
Two spoons in the freezer, hold them against my swollen red baby browns
and there I will sit—sad, sullen, sore.
I already know that
Tomorrow I will wake up with puffy eyes.

she is so lonely
sitting over there
in the corner by
herself
her so called friends
are more worried about
themselves  
than about their friend
who’s hurting herself
and hiding from them
she’s dropping hints
but no one picks up
they simply don’t care
she’s been hurting for so long
that she’s numb inside
she doesn’t feel pain anymore
she’s used to it and used to
being ignored and left out
the only time that she feels
anything is when her eyes
lets out floods of tears

*(s.m)

"you okay?"
"no, i'm close to tears,
i'm close to a breakdown,
an anxiety attack.
i'm exhausted.
i'm falling apart
so ******* quietly
that you can't hear.
I want to scream,
god, I just want you to know.
I just can't tell you."
"i'm kinda tired, that's all"