I think of you 
As I write tonight 
I try to focus 
On every word
And line and sentence
But all I'm left with are
Senseless paragraphs
And your name written 
At the back of my hand

I'm *** positive
So text me sympathies
Lie to me
Tell me nothing has changed and nothing will
Tell me we're friends and we'll remain
Make me stand in front of a mirror to see if i can face myself
Act like you care
Veil yourself and blame the air
Look down on me
Fake a wow for my worn out shoes
But look into my eyes before you leave
They speak volumes
I'm just not crying
Maybe i wont wake up in the morning- maybe i will
Bash my family like i feed on their blood
Maybe it was just my fault- maybe not
Maybe i have never made love
Maybe i have never done drugs
Maybe it was my latest tattoo that reads " I miss you mom"
Maybe it was the tetanus shot i had last month
Admit that you don't care
Act ill to not eat what i share
You're just another educated

On this course we travel
Of love, life and the things between
We all go through pain and suffering
We all have our own battles
Our own regrets, our own dreams
But it seems to me
That we all just need someone to say
"I'm here for you"
Or
"I love you"
Something that simple can help us all get through
A hand to hold or a shoulder to cling too
Just having someone there
Knowing someone actually cares
That's what gets all of us through everyday
Through every path, every different road we take
And although we all make mistakes
We need someone to lift us up
Tell us everything will be okay

The music swells
To an almighty crescendo
And I stand alone
In an empty room,
Arms held aloft
To welcome the
Sweep of emotion.
Hands dancing on the air,
Conducting
An invisible orchestra.
Tears seeping
Through closed lids.
Drained.
Exhausted.
Exhilirated.
In the moment.

I take out my old pen
And begin to write to you
Scribbling, pausing, wavering
Of us, and life, and time, and us.

I dip my pen in fairy dust
And write to you
A message
Of two seas meeting, and two breaths mingling,

I dip my pen in time
And write to you
A song
Of slow minutes, long hours, quick heartbeats

I dip my pen in tar
And write to you
An elegy
Of raging pasts and lingering remorse

I dip my pen in water
And write to you
A scroll full
Of doubts and worries;  headless snakes

I dip my pen in blood
And write to you
A promise
Of forever and always

I put my pen away
And sit back, sigh deep, rocking gently
I sign my words in kisses
And cross my heart to you.