was lost in darkness
you shone a light on my heart
love roses bloom there.
2/5/2020

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

Mum was in ICU,
Everyday I prayed for her long life,
I visited all the  holi places,
Praying,praying for her life,
She died!
I was angry with God,
I couldn't come to  terms with life,
I raged and ranted.
Then I came to know,
I had asked for her long life,
I WAS HER LIFE.

Well son, I have to tell,
Yesterday, I fell,
For you,I could not yell,
Across the ocean you dwell.

On the floor I lay,
For help I pray,
The maid, she gone away,
I could not call you anyway,
Across the ocean you stay.

Arthritis hurting my bones,
Nobody hears my moans,
I cannot tell you, my own,
For I  hurt when I hold the phone.

One time my diabetes shoot up,
Doc says,"Lady, what's up?"
Too much sugar or stress,
Better take it easy and rest.
I smile and keep mum,
I can't tell him,my son I miss some,
To mama he can't come,
For he stay far from my home.

Son, you gonna know,
Mama love you so,
Visit mama once,
Over the ocean,hasten,cover the distance.

If you were feeling like it was so right,
Then you most probably ignored the wrong.
If you have never had to have a fight,
Then you kept anger in to get along.

If you have never cried like this before,
Then you had never opened up your heart.
If you think none will love you anymore,
Then you should know that now is when you start.

If you’re alone unable to explain,
Then you are stuck in someone else’s head.
If you think that despair is part of pain,
Then you should love somebody good instead.

The man you loved before was fraudulent.
A worthy man won’t hurt you with intent.

I wish that the person you once were would come knocking on the door and take us on and adventure once more. You'd rather lie, sneak around and get high and I'm just left here to cry. All I have left of of you is a baby attached to my hip, he has your eyes, ears, hair and lips. He's the only thing that reminds of who we used to be I hope one day you'll open your eyes and see... The family you've torn apart. Times may have changed but didn't leave my heart.