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 Mar 2023 Mystery Girl
SleepEasy
I would have loved if I had known
Love is not something you can hold
Everything's so overgrown
I cannot toil, I must control

For once I turn my back it folds
Like a house of cards it falls
Back to dust it slowly goes
Rust consumes within these walls

And like the dust that moves with air
One day It will settle down
I'll live my life without a care
And dig my roots into the ground
You were constantly telling me I was sunshine and roses when I am obviously orchids and moonlight.
The way you held me, caressed my body, said my name…
They were pleasant enough but never filled the void in my soul.
You spoon fed me lies and wrapped me in a warm blanket enveloped with deception.
You cared for me up to your standards but never asked me mine.
Your words enraptured my thoughts and buried doubt into my brain.
You said you couldn’t live without me .
You told me you loved me.
That I was perfect for you.
We moved boxes and made a home.
Our possessions and limbs intertwined like lovers in the night.
We were blended.
But like water and oil we drifted, we separated.
You wanted me to change…
Not something as simple as to stop smacking my lips as I ate or to watch my intake of wine.
You wanted me to change core beliefs.
Wanted me to believe in a man in the sky who lets children starve, women get abused, and men to die.
Meanwhile my taro cards and crystals are charging in the moonlight as star dust dances upon my skin.
You were constantly telling me I was sunshine and roses when I am orchids and moonlight.
I am the universe wrapped into a humans body.
I am love.
I am acceptance.
I am all encompassing kindness.
You took it for granted and want it back.
I know who I am while you are searching for yourself.
You are wanting others to change to better your life.
When you should be accepting people you turn them away.
You took a piece of my heart… for it was yours.
But you just took a portion. Not the whole.
 Mar 2023 Mystery Girl
SleepEasy
I see your call
I pick up the phone and stall
Maybe I answer and say
Baby where have you been...?
Why haven't you been around...

This scenario plays in my mind
Yet I know what your answer would be
I wasn't very kind to you
I wanted to change your truth
And now I regret the present

Yes I have lost you, sure
Now your absence speaks in honest words
I thought we would journey worlds
I must move on, not to dwell
And hope to see us some day well
While I'm awake
I see the world
As twisted as it is

My thoughts wander
Time zones away
How are you?

I'm thankful to live
Breathe in the air
Take in the love

We're far away
But I love you
So I sit and pray

I pray for your happiness
While I may not be it
And I pray for your safety
While my shelter is vacant

To love you true
Is to pray for you
Since I can't have you now
Thats what I'll do

-AJT
Realizing to love somebody genuinely is to want happiness for them, no matter how much pain you feel not being with them anymore. Praying for them to have the best life, even if it's without you.
 Mar 2023 Mystery Girl
Chameleon
I am still standing here on the side of the road,
bags in hand.
Like you opened the door and shoved me out,
said you’d come back later.
The sun is setting though,
and it’s getting cold.
I’m beginning to think you aren’t
coming back.
I miss you
I miss me
The simple ways
When all it took
Was a laugh
When all we needed
Was to get out of class
When I was happy on a cloudy day
Not sad on a sunny one
I miss that
I miss my blue hat.
If in the
coming days
I ever come across
an actual
time machine
I'll go back
to this present
moment
to tell my
past self
whether this girl
truly cares
about me
because right now
I'm worried
she's not
part of my
future.
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